Say What?

Say What? goes big on Spurs this week, with Dele Alli to the fore, the middle and the back.

There’s also Zlatan on a certain someone who’s been grinding his gears, Wenger’s unlikely saviour and Claude Puel trying to marry off his daughter.

For all this – and a fair bit more – please read on.

Alli Spot-On For Pochettino

It’s not exactly a bad time to be a Spurs fan at the moment, and it’s an even better one to be a Dele Alli owner.

While we might not be legion just yet, 27.6% of us have him in our teams because (with apologies), like a renal extraction surgeon, he consistently delivers.

Since Gameweek 17, the England man has hit 11 goals, chucked in a couple of assists and seen his ownership rise by nearly a million.

Among midfielders, only Eden Hazard is now in more teams, but they could very well swap places by the end of this final, and utterly dreary, international break of the season.

The fact that Alli appears to be on penalty duties in the absence of Harry Kane sweetens the deal further.

He took, and scored, his first ever professional spot-kick in the win over Southampton, with Mauricio Pochettino revealing a strangely ‘whatever, brilliant!’ approach to the issue of who would be the designated taker.

“For me it’s OK. It’s good that we have players who want to take the responsibility to shoot the penalty. Fantastic. With no Harry Kane everyone can take the penalty – no problem.”

Alli himself took full advantage of his manager’s attitude.

“As soon as I realised H (Harry Kane) wasn’t on the pitch I saw it as an opportunity to get another goal so I grabbed the ball! We didn’t really speak before the game about who might take it so it was first come, first served. I was confident to take it and the boys let me have it but more importantly, we got the win.”

More than 90,000 Fantasy Premier League managers were not quite so overjoyed by Alli’s ball-grabbing antics – they’d brought Heung-Min Son into their sides because a) they correctly predicted he would lead the line in Kane’s absence and b) they incorrectly predicted he would take the penalties in Kane’s absence.

At least they can take some comfort from a) post-match Pochettino praise for their man and b) erm, see a).

“I think it was good. He had some chances to score and showed some great movement behind the defensive line. He worked well with Dele and Christian (Eriksen) and I am very pleased with his performance.”

As for the massive 1,742 managers who took a punt on Vincent Janssen doing both (the first) a) and b) above, even they got (the second) a) and b) boost from Pochettino.

If that makes any sense.

“He will now have the possibility to play more and be more involved. Today he showed great, great energy when he came on.”

Son’s owners do have a week of worry ahead – the midfielder is far, far away playing for South Korea in two World Cup qualifiers tonight and on Tuesday, so will return on the decidedly tired side for next Saturday’s trip to Burnley.

That could just open the door a smidge for Janssen, which could, in turn, raise doubts as to Alli’s penalty duties – the Dutchman, after all, is a specialist from the spot.

However, with the current mood Pochettino is in regarding Dele, he’ll probably let his star man take the penalties, pick the team and demand up to 90% of the Argentinian’s salary for good measure.

“It is all possible with him. In the box he looks like a striker because he is more than clever, he has made his mark. Outside the box playing like a midfielder, I saw him at 17 years old playing at Milton Keynes as a holding midfielder against Manchester United. And I don’t know, always he can surprise me, maybe one day he can play as a goalkeeper or as a full-back or centre-back.”

At least Pochettino didn’t mention Alli as a potential wing-back, because the 1.2% of managers invested in the cut-price delights of Ben Davies (4.7) have been rewarded with three clean sheets from the last five starts by the Welsh defender.

Once the international break finally takes the hint and buggers off, Spurs have three matches in a week – Burnley and Swansea away and Watford at White Hart Lane.

Danny Rose could well be back from injury at some point in that spell, so Davies is counting his regular-start blessings in the meantime.

“It’s hard work but it’s great and I certainly can’t complain. With every match that’s going by it’s another 90 minutes under my belt so it’s great, especially when we’re winning games like this.”

Investing in Spurs assets for the rest of the season in a no-brainer. After that, they have only Arsenal and Man United of the big boys still to face – and both of those fixtures will be at home – and a double Gameweek involving Leicester to factor in as well.

Buying Davies looks short-term, choosing between Son and Janssen carries an element of risk, but Alli looks to be a keeper from now until the season ends.

Not, you know, literally a keeper as in Hugo Lloris.

Although with Pochettino so loved-up with Dele at the moment, let’s not rule that out completely.

Zlatan’s Personal Pep Talk

While Spurs wait for news of when their double Gameweek might be, Man United are already preparing for one of theirs – a Gameweek 34 involving trips to Burnley and then Man City.

United’s run-in is not of a particularly kindly persuasion as they’ll also have to face Spurs and Arsenal away and play Chelsea at Old Trafford.

But those doubles (they still await a re-arranged date with Southampton) will keep their players on our radars, and one of them will most definitely be Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

The Swede has one match left on the naughty step before becoming available again for Gameweek 31’s visit of Everton.

His pre-ban form was patchy, with just one goal and an assist in five starts, but he won’t be lacking for motivation once he returns – and in particular for that trip across town to the Etihad.

“I learned a lot at Barcelona, both on and off the pitch. I learned that in football any situation can change in just 24 hours. The problem wasn’t with me, it was with him [Guardiola] and he never came to terms with it. I don’t know what his problem was with me. First he called me every day to get me and from one day to the next I didn’t play anymore.”

There are plenty of United assets worth perusing at the moment.

In defence, there’s Antonio Valencia, who has three clean sheets, two assists and a goal from his last five starts. And midfielder Juan Mata has been solid in his last four matches, with two goals and an assist.

But a fired-up Zlatan?

“When I play against his team, it’s something that motivates me, it gives me adrenaline. It is normal, after what’s happened. I’m using it as something positive, not negative. But it is something always in the back of my mind.”

He might have lost nearly 800,000 managers in recent weeks, but his Pep talk should inspire us all.

Wenger’s Theological Musings

Another team with doubles yet to come is Arsenal.

We’ve known for a long time that the Gunners are dodgy in the air and, after the unedifying spectacle of rival pro and anti-Wenger planes flying over The Hawthorns last weekend, the same can now be said of their supporters.

But that’s not stopped the beleaguered coach from praising Theo Walcott to the skies.

“He has become more of a complete player, more efficient. He does better in the tactical part of his game and works hard defensively and offensively. He has been less injured as well, that helps.”

A glance at Walcott’s recent league record doesn’t really back up Wenger’s words – since returning from injury in Gameweek 23, he’s managed no goals and just as many assists.

So what’s to love about him?

“ “He has turned up in big games as well, he can score goals in big games. He showed that against Bayern, he scored the goal and I think it was a penalty on him, which shows he can influence games.”

Fair enough, he was Arsenal’s best player in their 5-1 home loss to Munich, although that’s kind of like being hailed Britain’s least-hated estate agent. Or the third most-feared Kray twin.

But if we take Wenger at his word, then maybe we should turn our thoughts to Theo.

Arsenal still have 11 matches to play, and if they are to repeat history once again and make the Champions League spots, every one of them will be a big game.

They also have two double Gameweeks to come, involving Sunderland and Southampton, and if Alexis Sanchez can’t shake off his ankle injury (or take his eyes off the door marked ‘Exit’), then Walcott is a cheap (7.3) and considerably less popular (4.2%) alternative.

Arsenal’s form has been of the straight-to-landfill variety, with four defeats in their last five league matches.

Maybe Walcott, from the wing, can help them rise again.

Take Some Praise (And My Daughter)

Continuing our double Gameweek theme, we come to Southampton, who still have home fixtures with Arsenal and United to re-arrange.

Then again, they also have Man City, Chelsea and Liverpool to face before season’s end. Throw in their inconsistency – losing to Swansea and West Ham before scoring four times in both of their next two away matches – allied with a groin injury to man-of-the-moment Manolo Gabbiadini, and banking on the Saints looks to be of the high-risk merchant/casino variety.

But one player is starting to put forward a decent case for investment – new England man James Ward-Prowse.

He’s available for just 5.0, is owned by only 0.4% and has two goals, an assist and five bonus points to his name over the last five fixtures.

He’s also been a virtual ever-present in the side since Gameweek 13, which is not surprising when you listen to his manager, Claude Puel.

“I think he is fantastic. I looked at an interview when he was 10 or 11 and he was in the same spirit as he is now. It’s easy to train James and he has made the progress because he listens and importantly he wants to progress. He is the prototype for the academy. It is not just about making professional footballers but also developing men.”

The Frenchman even revealed his, ‘ow do you English say ‘banter’?’ side when Ward-Prowse and Nathan Redmond got their England call-ups.

“I told them the news by calling them into the office saying ‘I had a problem with their attitudes in the training session and to know their opinion as to why’. After I said: ‘I don’t understand why you’ve been called up to England, but OK’.”

This is all very lovely. And so is Puel’s daughter, Charlene. If you don’t believe me, go here.

Why is that relevant?

Because of what Puel said about JWP next:

“He is the ideal son-in-law.”

Blimey. That’s one way to guarantee you’ll always get in the side. Unless, you know, James starts channelling his inner John Terry.

But we all love a good wedding. I’d like to see the well-spoken Walcott as best man, Wayne Rooney keeping up the spirits among some of the older guests and Joey Barton orchestrating the traditional wedding reception tear-up.

And while we’re waiting for that, keep Ward-Prowse in your thoughts, if not close to your heart, for the weeks ahead.

Beautiful Big Sam Blanks

We can only hope that Rachael, daughter of Sam Allardyce, has her mother’s looks.

At least her dad’s team is now winning ugly – Palace have taken maximum points from their last three matches and kept clean sheets in all of them.

Defender James Tomkins has been talking up his manager’s work as a result.

“In recent weeks the boss has taken us to one side on the training ground, both as a defensive unit but also as a team group, to work on our shape with a massive emphasis being on clean sheets, something which he has always been known for, wherever he has managed.”

As well as that improvement in form, another plus for the Eagles is their double Gameweek 34.

The negative is that it will involve Liverpool away and Spurs at Selhurst Park.

In fact, Palace’s run-in is the stuff of nightmares.

They’ve got Leicester, Burnley and Hull at home, but they’d better be winning those if they want to avoid relegation because the rest of their fixtures involve trips to Chelsea, Southampton and both Manchester clubs and a visit from Arsenal.

What can be guaranteed, by the looks of it, is that Allardyce’s men are no longer push-overs. And they have a simple plan to execute, according to Tomkins.

“It is not just about the back four and the keeper but also those working from the front, sitting in when needed and then breaking out in numbers on counter attacks when the opportunity comes about in games.”

Tomkins has started every match since Gameweek 19 and, at 4.9, is a well-priced way into such a well-organised unit.

Allardyce, famously, has never managed a team relegated from the top flight. If he is to continue that run, the likes of Tomkins will be why.

Buying into Big Sam’s defence looks risky, but could turn out surprisingly beautiful.

The I-Pulis

We end on another beautiful thing…

West Brom’s last eight matches are just soooo Tony Pulis – won four, lost two, drawn two. It’s the stuff of mid-table comfort, well-drilled units and a shouty man in a tracksuit and baseball cap.

And it’s also a lot to do with the Baggies’ in no-way secret weapon – their exemplary set-plays – as the shouty man himself was happy to explain following the win over Arsenal.

“We do it differently against zonal than man-for-man. They have five or six players across the six yard box and they have two players who try and block your runners. So if you get away from one of the blocks, you are running at a standing object. You’ve got someone with a standing jump against a person with a running jump. I’ll bet my bottom dollar the person with the running jump will score.”

The player to benefit from Arsenal zoning out at the weekend was Craig Dawson, who scored twice on his way to a bumper 17-point haul.

His fellow defender Gareth McAuley, meanwhile, has been a major beneficiary of West Brom’s dead-ball prowess all season long – his six goals have prompted 32.3% of us to buy him in. Among defenders, only Tottenham’s Kyle Walker is owned by more FPL managers.

The problem for us now is that West Brom have a Gameweek 34 blank while their scheduled opponents, Man City, play in the FA Cup semi-finals.

That will tempt many of us to cut and run, ignoring the fact that McAuley and co will have a double Gameweek further down the line to boost a reasonable run-in which involves tough tests against Man United, Liverpool and Chelsea that are somewhat offset by matches with Watford, Southampton, Burnley and Swansea.

With 12 goals scored between McAuley, Dawson and Chris Brunt this season, benching Baggies’ defenders for the Gameweek 34 no-show might well be the wiser option.

Don’t believe me? Well, West Brom also have technology on their side, as Dawson explained.

“Every detail is covered in training. Away from that the gaffer gives us lots of videos of the opposition and makes sure we can study those in the week. We have an app.”

Yep. An app.

No news on its name, but ‘Plants versus Zombies’ seems strangely apt when considering Arsenal’s defending at The Hawthorns, ‘Farm Heroes Saga’ covers Pulis’ more agricultural leanings and ‘Grindr (Out The Results)’…maybe football isn’t quite ready for that one yet.