Community Watch – Gameweek 2 Preview

Best of luck to all!

Really appreciate your efforts guys! Definitely makes this season more interesting and fun 🙂

last time I looked top of table was decided by goal difference

Good luck teams .. especially Mozampique!

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Vu5htV8iMqSpDrlCqqVtD1vN2sqWgexAexSuLdDj8iM/edit#gid=1243111805

As the mosquitoes buzz around a single glowing lightbulb hanging from the ceiling, above nine men sitting silently in a circle around a rickety old radio….

« ….Dans d'autres nouvelles, un moulin à vent vert est soudainement apparu à côté du stade de football de Mbokani Faso. Personne ne sait d'où il vient et la police n'a été appelée à enquêter… »

‘Curses !’ exclaims the god-like man they call Boris, as he shakes with violent rage, ‘we have been rumbled lads…our chances of scouting the opposition are now as likely as Rondon scoring a brace this weekend.’.
The skipper falls to his seat and begins to whimper. ‘I did say that Green Windmills are not very common if Africa, skipper’ says Sune, ‘maybe we could dress up as elephants to sneak in unnoticed?’.
Swanmore pipes up enthusiastically, ‘who cares what these Mbokani Faso scum are doing – our national idol Mohamed Salah will help us triumph!’.
Suddenly they all sit up, as a creak is heard outside the door, followed by a vicious crack of thunder. The door flies open as the rains suddenly flood down from the skies outside, and lightning silhouettes a cloaked man standing in the doorway.
‘Your false god has forsaken you all…you must BURN all likenesses of him in the fire and find a NEW god to help you win the upcoming battle!’. He pulls back his hood to reveal himself.
The men rise to their feet with exclaiming their delight - ‘Lord! Where have you been, we searched the airport for you everywhere?’ sighs Knuckles. ‘I have been on a pilgrimage to save our team and redeem our national pride. Now BURN THE OLD GODS TO DISCOVER THE NEW!!!’.
Feverishly they all start throwing anything with an image of Salah into the furnace – posters, wooden statues and even brand new Match Attax cards fly into the ever growing flames which begin to reach higher and higher. ‘Stare into the fire my friends and tell me what you can see….’
They all peer intently into the blaze. Minutes pass until finally – ‘I SEE HIM, THERE…HE IS SCORING A HAT TRICK’……’I SEE HIM TOO, HE HAS A BLUE SHIRT, DARK BLUE’….’NO IT IS SKY BLUE, SURELY?’….’PRAISE THE NEW IDOL OF OUR ISLANDS, SHOUT HIS NAME FOR ALL TO HEAR!’…..
As the crew of Salah-mon Islands chant the name of their new idol, louder and louder, the muscle riddled captain of the Mbokani Faso national team, the man they call Pirlo’s Pen, peers through his binoculars at the flaming Green Windmill on the horizon. ‘What are they doing, boss?’, enquires one of his skinny minions. ‘I am not sure but I think I saw some of them doing….lunges.’ The rest of the team gasp and start to break into a sweat. The captain puts away his binoculars, and turns to face his players. ‘Back to work, boys…this won’t be as easy as we first thought. Bring out the Battenberg!’

Hoping to make my debut this week if our manager manages to overcome his hit phobia 😉

Fashanu Zealand best of luck! Ready to rumble?

Aguero inbound

Good luck all.
GGIBELAND

What happened with the inactive players? Are all teams full now?

We’re coming for you Mozampricks!

Rib injuries all the rage it seems. Rumours are surfacing that Mbokani Faso's star player AA33 may miss this week's clash having had a couple of ribs removed for ahem 'medical purposes'...

God. We are playing the Meercats. 😆

TV presenter: I'm here talking to Fashanu Zealand's Eunuch Jelly in advance of their fixture with Blindia. We've been told he has some important breaking news, so you will hear it here first. Jelly, what did you want to tell all of our viewers?

Jelly: I felt it was my duty to come out and reveal that I . . . I am . . . sorry, I'm a little emotional, let me collect myself . . . . . . OK. Here goes: I too am one of Harvey Weinstein's victims.

TVP: Wait, really? Are you saying you were among those assaulted by Hollywood movie mogul Harvey Weinstein?

J: Yes. *sobs*

TVP: Wow. This is a bit hard to take in. How did you come to be one of his casting-couch conquests?

J: Oh no, it wasn't like that. It was right out in public. It happened at a BAFTA ceremony a few years ago.

TVP: I assume you were working the bar or something?

J: Oi! Less of that! I was under serious consideration for Best Cameo By A Sport Personality for the time I crashed the set of "Lorraine" and pulled her . . . erm . . . but that's not the point: I was there, and so was Harvey Weinstein.

TVP: So what happened? How did he assault you?

J: Well, I was at the table at the dinner, talking to the person next to me (Caitlyn Jenner, if you must know; phwoar), and he just came up and grabbed it!

TVP: Grabbed what? Your arse? Your meat and two veg? What did he grab?

J: My . . . my . . . oh god . . . he grabbed my . . . Bakewell tart. *sobs*

TVP: Your Bakewe . . . are you telling me this "assault" was nothing more than him cadging your cake? He purloined your pudding? He swindled your sweetmeat? Is this really what you want to announce just before the big match with Blindia?

J: Blindia? They're a bunch of tarts an' all--and we'll be having them like Harvey Weinstein!

Salahmon Islands squad is decided and email sent to CWHQ

good luck Germane. may the best team win.

Hi lads,

Here's our starting lineup and captain for us (Ibeland) vs. Balegium. I don't see any advantage in keeping it a secret since all teams have probably been submitted by now. Best of luck to all teams.

What's the Mata? (C)
BB-8
Banananose Maldonado
Laurent Robert
BC1
A Brighter Shade of Green
Netley Lucas

Best of luck to Cech Republic and the other 18 lesser countries 😀

https://youtu.be/O8SuaV5tT5s
Time to do it again! Scripting New Zealands downfall that is!

Winning against Reussia is gonna be easy just like we did in pre season .

Well, our squad is decided, but we are waiting on our Senior Player's pronouncement ... 😀

Kiwi's who are you guys starting?

We will tell our bench too!

Any of the mods around?

The link JTD shared has Tatemavins ID wrong. Please double check.
Tatemavins ID is 807625

NZ v IND
Left numbers are NZ and Right are IND.

BRING IT ON!

Kane 16 - 15
Abraham 1 - 1
Vardy 5 - 6
Okazaki 0 -2
Joselu 1 - 1
Lukaku 3 - 3
Ayew 0 - 1
Chicha 0 - 1
Lewis 1 - 0
Laca 1 - 0
Jesus 3 - 2

Silva 2 - 7
Sanchez 0 -2
Richarlson 0 - 2
Sterling 5 - 1
Hazard 1 - 1
Xhaka 0 - 1
Coutinho 3 - 2
Eriksen 6 - 3
TC 1 - 0
Salah 4 - 2
Alli 1 - 3
Choupu 2 - 0
Willian 0 - 1

Alonso 2 - 2
Monreal 1 - 2
Bellarin 1 - 0
Kola 4 - 0
Naughton 1 - 0
Moreno 1 - 0
Stones 1 -2
Cedric 4 - 2
Ota 1 - 2
Walker 0 - 1
Mee 0 - 3
Davies 7 - 8
Fernandez 0 - 2
Cresswell 1 - 0
Mbemba 0 - 1
Jones 1 - 1
Luiz 1 - 0
Ward 4 - 1
Simpson 2
Bert 0 - 2
VanDijk 0 -1
Schin 0 -1

Hart 1 - 0
Fab 3 - 2
Foster 0 - 2
Elliot 2 - 3
Krul 1 - 0
Pope 1 - 1

Hungary Neville 352
(1x Pickford, 1x Mitrovic, 1x Joselu, 1x Vardy, 2x Maguire)

Gaboniadini 299
(3x Gross, 1x Elliot, 1x Ritchie, 1x Cedric, 1x Simpson)

* Rough workings out, may not be totally accurate. Davies autosubs included.

Messidonia 330p v Mozampique 353p

Autosubs included and remaining differentials

Messidonia: Rooney 2, Yoshida 2, Foster 2, Tadic, Vardy, Maguire, Dawson, Simpson, Atsu
Mozampique: Cedric 3, Elliot 2, Lascelles, Gross, Joselu, Davis, (Mbemba), (Gamez)

Really need results to go our way to come back.

Reussia 320 - Emre Canada 340

Can't be asked to figure out auto subs so points will go way up, it I will be high scoring and close. We need Vardy to score!

Our killer was putting all of our captain's eggs in one basket but...with a bit of luck we could just pull it out especially if NEW don't keep a cleanie.