And in the blink of an eye the first period of the pundits playoff comes to an end.
Matchweek 4 saw the ‘Keane 15’ maintain their perfect run with a comprehensive 14-1 victory over Blame it on Rio. Rumours abound that a fight in the away dressing room at half time, probably caused by Roy himself, gave the 15 the testosterone injection needed to kick Rio into touch.
Elsewhere there was a win for a rejuvenated Holly’s Hamsters squad with the highest round score of 937 doing the business for those pesky mammals over Back to Square Owen with a 14.5-0.5 scoreline. Michael himself was quoted saying ‘there was a bit of rain about, so the surface was a bit wet’ before heading off to promote his new book deal.
The tightest match of the round was between Unbelievable Jeff FC and BSC Small Boys (in the park) FC, with a final scoreline of 936 to 935 enough for a 10-5 win.
Even after the stunning 1 point victory, persistent stories about wantaway top scorer JohnnyRev7 being in a bust up with Tets McGee were not going away quietly.
With Tets Mcgee unavailable for comment we approached Ron Manager for a few salient words:
‘Release me’, Engelbert Humperdinck isn’t it? Fast Show, wasn’t it? Marvellous tune, isn’t it?
…and we’re none the wiser.
There were further wins for A Whole Lawro B*llocks, Slaven’s Ball-itch and the ‘15 Musketeers’.
These results meant that the ‘Keane 15’ won the first Head to Head period, probably due to Roy’s tendencies to Nut the opposition, and Unbelievable Jeff FC were victorious in the first Classic period.
Manager of the Period is Pirlo’s Pen and he will he on hand for a heart to heart interview with Boris himself in due course.
Congratulations to Wolverine who was by far the best player of the period, a total score of 290 across the 4 Match weeks putting him 18 points clear of the chasing pack of Do the Van Gaal-lem Shake, Park the Bus, JohnnyRev7 and Kadhai Paneer FC.
Kudos also goes to Sonny the Hitman, who never missed his mark with 3 wins out of 3 in his H2H’s securing 7 bonus points for a Whole Lawro B*llocks.
We look forward now to the Transfer Window and all the drama and shenanigans that comes with it. In the words of Michael Owen
‘It’s a good time to buy new players and sell some players as well’.
Holly himself also chimed in with an exceptional statement: ‘This club needs impetus – but I just feel tired to be honest’, the likes of his leadership are hard to come by.
Time for the corporate read.
The bidding list will be released in descending order with the highest value players first. Remember all player’s values are based on the cumulative scores so far. All twelve team managers will start with a budget, which will be the amount left over in the budgets, plus the value of any players they have released. They will have until 8pm Sunday 17th November to prepare their bids for the players they want, and all bids will be compiled automatically via google sheet wizardry at the same time, one hour before the draft takes place. At draft deadline the bids will be revealed one or two players at a time, along with their allocated team. To watch the draw live, log on to this googlesheet and go to the Bidding List tab here
Team Managers can make as many bids as they like for as much as they like. The bids must be higher or equal to the player’s value otherwise they will be invalid.
The highest bid will prevail in signing that player, unless:
- The team is already full.
- There aren’t enough funds in the team’s pot to cover the bid AND the minimum cost(s) for all other remaining players they need.
In these cases the player will be signed by the next highest and valid bid.
Tie breakers to decide which team wins when there are two or more valid bids of equal value, are:
- Team with most players left to sign wins.
- If point 1 still leaves things tied, the team with most funds left in their budget wins.
- If still tied, the organisers will toss a coin.
Any teams that are not filled by the end of the draft will have players allocated to their team by the organisers, using as much of their available budget left as possible. All signings are final once the draft is complete, players will have to wait until the next transfer window to release themselves from their team, or for teams to release any players.
All signed players will be sent an email following the draft to confirm their place in their new team and to put them in contact with their team manager.
Until next time brethren, enjoy the break, freshen up your teams and lets kick off again with some classic, cliched, punditry bedlam after the International Break.