It may be the New Year; you may be bright eyed and full of hope. Well in which case you don’t belong here, this is FPL terrain, so leave all hope at the door. Here be the place where DCL owners can rewatch his penalty miss in an eternal limbo, sharing an awkward man hug with those seeing their team carrying more red flags than Tiananmen Square during a national holiday. Yes, it has been tough.
The Results are in….
Despite the chaos, there were some monster wins in Matchweek 10. The big winners were the mighty Hairy Henry who ruined any Christmas cheer held by Hwang King in a Greenwood. Their 8-0 win was built on a massive squad score, over a hundred clear of their lovely opponents. Nidhinmathews was rightly deployed up top, where the appropriately named Sham86 failed to hold firm.
Shearer’s bunch of flowers were not far behind, registering an enormous 7-1 win, burying Catch me if U Kane as they look increasingly like threatening the top of the table. Captain and Striker Danlieus, never short of self-confidence, bagging a brace. His team did him proud with a further five goals.
Elsewhere Jimmy Floyd Hamsterbaink swept past Krul Intentions 3-1 thanks to a solid squad effort. Lord did at least manage a striker consolation goal.
Footstock Alumni ended a run of defeats with a 4-0 romp over Carroll’s Christmas Island helped by glitzy podcaster Fpl General’s sweet 91, winning the battle of the celebrities over LTFPL Andy on the away side.
The away team took the spoils as Too Krul for Siu left two goals to the good. Funny guy Chandler Bing may have failed to spark up front, but FPL Mode ripped it up with a 90 in the squad.
Son of a Gunn produced a cultured display against Hey MaccaReina! defying the odds as drunkard misfit vice-captain PEP_TALK was forced to take the reins in Matchweek 10. Bizarrely he put handsome intellectual Fpl Richie in goal despite suffering from covid at the time. What a bar steward. Still, it was enough to repel Seb Wassell and elsewhere Frenchy FPL nudged a rare striker goal past FPL Partridge, whose drive home on the Norwich ring road would have been a sad affair.
Hanging by a Fred took the Rooney Tunes to task with a commanding 5-1 win thanks to a strong squad score. The losing side benched two players who scored in the 80s. Oh dear.
Table toppers No Fuchs Given continue to stroll towards glory as Pukki Blinders scored a hefty 92 and FPL Marcin edged big-man-on-campus Tom Freeman in the head-to-head with a striker goal.
Free Britney’s Areola produced no boobies in a 6-1 win as they left Bachmann and Robben feeling flat. Legendary FPL genius Ragabolly got a striker goal in consolation, but FBA racked up the goals with Gnu bagging a 95.
It was a tight affair as Defoe King Unbelievables won a dullard affair 1-0 by a mere four points between the squads. If only they had utilised their bench, where Stefano and El Conquistador scored 83 and 85 to no avail.
Fantastic Mr Fox won 2-0 away at Nameless Ones by virtue of big scores from Hari1290 and Paul Parak. The Nameless Ones are now clinging on to the top 6 by goals scored as the Foxes leapfrogged them in the table.
Finally, Lloris the Hounds started the year with a fine 2-0 win over Toxic Seaman. FPL Differential King was the hero up front.
Player of the week
Earning his own open top bus parade in Hammersmith, is Collie01 who scored an immense 98 despite being surrounded by losers in team Catch me if U Kane. The man even managed a few clean sheets. Blimey.
How it stands
As things stand, No Fuchs Given may have a name suggesting a cavalier attitude but we should take them seriously at the summit. They remain three points clear of Hanging by a Fred. Behind them, Son of a Gunn are as surprised as you are that they maintain a top 3 spot. At the bottom, Flying without Ings are about as believable as a government minister defending a work gathering. They are rooted to the bottom, with Bachmann and Robben only a few points ahead.
Coming up next…
Matchweek 11 will no doubt be anxious affair that will make captains sweat up until the deadline. Not much in the way of table topping ties, but I’ll be interested to see how the lowly Bachmann and Robben face off against Hwang King in a Greenwood. There’s also some giant killing opportunities, as the top 2 meet sides in the bottom six.
Fare thee well and thanks for reading. I’m off to stare at the collection of flags on my FPL screen. Even Prince Andrew has a better defence then I do this week…