Say What?

The goss on Ross, all that jazz from Haz and some, erm, blah blah from Yaya – this week’s Say What has both rhyme and reason.

Actually, all the rhyming is now done and dusted, thankfully, so we’ll just mention that Guardiola, Aguero, Moyes, Mourinho and more are also in there and let you get on with your reading.

Ross Barkley – Remember The Name(s)

Ross Barkley has been called a mix of Paul Gascoigne and Michael Ballack (Gazzack?), Frank Lampard once likened him to a young Wayne Rooney (Wazzack?) and we can only be thankful that he’s yet to be seen as a cross between Ballack and Yannick Bolasie.

There’s also no time to even consider melding the names of Paolo Wanchope and Barkley either, because the man himself is keen to tell us how content he is being whatever coach Ronald Koeman wants him to be – and wherever he wants him to be.

“I’m playing either inside left or inside right off the striker, helping out the midfield and getting back to dig in. It gives me licence to roam around the pitch and try to create chances. I’m hoping to play anywhere on the pitch but I’m enjoying where I am at the minute. I like playing all over midfield so wherever I am you see different things from different sides of the pitch. I’m happy wherever I play.”

Koeman is clearly happy too – Bazzac…sorry, Barkley, has been involved in all but two of Everton’s league matches this season, notching four goals and six assists.

And as we scour the short-term schedules to ensure we have the best players in place to cover the upcoming blanks, Everton’s assets are right up there.

Sunderland, West Brom and Hull at home over the next four Gameweeks is the main reason for that, and Barkley’s goal and assist in the 6-3 thriller with Bournemouth points to a man in good enough form to take full advantage .

A total of 55 goal attempts this season puts him just outside the top ten among midfielders, but his finishing is a very different story – a 7.3% conversion rate is way down the list.

That’s something of which he’s acutely aware.

“I feel like I should be getting more goals and I’m working really hard on that in training. Part of my game is that I need to get more goals and hopefully in the last few games of the season I can get into double figures. That’s my aim at the start of every season. In training, I focus on scoring, getting a good feel of the ball and hitting the back of the net.”

Sunderland at Goodison is a good place to start putting that training into practice – the Black Cats have a league-worst one away clean sheet and 22 goals conceded puts them in the bottom five.

Priced at 7.1 and with a 7.4% ownership base, Barkley looks well worth a punt. And maybe, finally, he’ll become what his name really should imply – that he’s one we can all bank on.

Hazard Hearts Home

Home…there’s no place like it; it’s where the heart is and, as the Albanian proverb goes, ‘The sun at home warms better than the sun elsewhere’, which just goes to prove, once and for all, that Albania is nowhere near Scotland.

One team in blazing hot home form this season are Chelsea – played 12, won 11, scoring a league-high 33 goals and keeping seven clean sheets, which is second only to Spurs.

And one player soaking up all that sunshine is Eden Hazard, who leads the way with eight home goals at a league-best (among regular starters) 124.9 minutes per strike.

The Belgian also has top four figures for penalty area touches and goal conversion among those who have netted at least four times this season.

Small wonder that paradise, for Eden, is Stamford Bridge.

“We are in full confidence here on this pitch. You know the fans bring everything, they support us. Yes, it’s significant. It’s difficult for the opponent to come here and win games. We know if we want to be champions, in our home stadium we have to win most of our games. We can’t say all 19 because we have already lost to Liverpool, but we have to win 16 to 17 because it is our place and we are ready to deliver.”

Chelsea will play seven of their remaining 13 matches at home. More pertinently, those matches are against Swansea, Palace, Southampton, Middlesbrough, Sunderland, Watford and, just to spoil things a tad, Man City.

It’s perhaps unsurprising then that homeboy Hazard is being brought into the bosom of even more Fantasy managers this week – a top five 48,000+ – even though the Blues have a Gameweek 28 blank coming up.

And another Chelsea man feeling the Fantasy love is Pedro, whose extra 37,900 managers makes him the eleventh most bought player this week.

Some of that is down to price – 6.9 is a bit of a bargain for any Chelsea midfielder who’s been involved as consistently as Pedro has since Gameweek 8.

And the rest is probably all about a man who now looks totally at ease in English football.

“I understand the Premier League more now. Spain is different. It’s more tactical. It’s more about passing the ball and developing something. Here it’s quicker when you attack and everything is different. You have to change mentally and it’s difficult to adapt at first, but I have changed, I have done that now. It’s a good moment for me. I feel really good on the pitch. I’m scoring goals and I’m connecting well with my team-mates.”

Six goals and as many assists back up his claims and, at 3.4 cheaper than Hazard (and with just 6.1% ownership compared to the Belgian’s 31.8%), there’s a lot going for the Spaniard.

But whichever one you choose, both are looking likely to bring home the points on a regular basis for the rest of an exceptional season.

Jose Ready To Rotate

Home or away matters little to Man United this year.

Home: 19 goals for, nine against, five clean sheets. Away: 19 goals for, 12 against, five clean sheets.

United’s problems have involved putting teams away – only Middlesbrough have drawn more matches than the nine Mourinho’s men have managed this season.

But they’ve won six of their last seven in all competitions, and that’s causing issues of its own.

Although United have just one league match over the next three Gameweeks, they’ll play the EFL Cup final, an FA Cup quarter-final and two legs of a Europa League Round of 16 tie before the Gameweek 29 trip to Middlesbrough.

“The FA Cup is beautiful, the competition is historical. I have to treat Manchester United supporters and the FA Cup in the right way. I cannot go there with under-21s. Probably they would deserve it, but I don’t do that, so what is going to happen is an accumulation of matches. People playing a lot of matches, I have to make some rotation but some of the boys will have to play in all these consecutive matches.”

With Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Michael Carrick now on the injury list, that need to rotate could finally have an impact on two of Mourinho’s major go-to guys, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Paul Pogba.

Only the injured Gabriel Jesus has been sold by more managers than Zlatan’s 124,000+ this week, with Pogba, Phil Jones and Mkhitaryan also in the top 30 for transfers-out.

Those planning to stick with Ibrahimovic – and he’s still got 38.9% of us on board – through the thinnest of short-term schedules (Bournemouth at home in Gameweek 27) might want to reconsider if Mourinho continues to rely on the Swede in Europe, particularly as the Europa League is starting to look like an excellent opportunity for the Red Devils to secure a Champions League spot for next year.

At least Zlatan has finally tired of likening himself to an animal, or Alexander The Great.

“Every trophy for me is incredible, everywhere I came I won so if I can win something here I will be super happy. People that know me know that I play in many clubs and I try to do my best.”

That is as humble as it gets with Ibrahimovic. And he’s finally stopped with his bonkers comparisons.

“Wherever I went I won, so I am like Indiana Jones.”

Bugger.

Ah well, you’d best insert your own Raiders of the Lost Park Ji-Sung, Temple of Poom, The Last Crusat or Kingdom of the Crystal Krul gag here.

The Truth Is…What Exactly?

Rotation (and, presumably, Harrison Ford films) are furthest from Pep Guardiola’s mind at the moment, and not just because he’s currently got just four regular members of his back line actually fit.

Particularly as one of those is Nicolas ‘99% hipster, 1% defender’ Otamendi.

If that seems harsh, it’s got nothing to do with me not wishing to insult the 14.9% of you still on John Stones (4.7), even if you clearly know the price of everything, and the value of nowt.

No, it’s all about the attack with Pep, as Yaya Toure surprised nobody by detailing in the week City shared an eight-goal defensive master class with Monaco.

“With the new manager now it’s all about attack. We are a team that score goals but we can concede goals too. We are able to score goals because we have the strength up front but our defending was bad.”

What makes all this suddenly very relevant, Fantasy-wise, is the news that City will end up with a double Gameweek 27 (against Sunderland and Stoke) if they beat Huddersfield at home in their FA Cup fifth round replay.

And that brings Sergio Aguero, who scored two and set up another in the Champions League, back on the radar again.

But let’s not get too excited. He’s still expensive (12.7) and his latest comments have something slightly worrying in common.

When people start a sentence with ‘don’t take this the wrong way’ or ‘I’m not being racist, but’ then you tend to brace yourself for the exact opposite of what is supposedly intended.

Just remember that when you look at Sergio Aguero’s take on his future at the club.

“The truth is that with these things it’s the club that handles everything, and obviously it’s always my intention to stay.”

The truth is out there, it will set you free, although you can’t handle it. But can we believe you, Sergio?

“The truth is that those things are for the manager to decide. The only thing I can do is keep fighting to be able to play.”

Nope, the truth is that saying “the truth is” tends to mean the truth is anything but what the truth is.

So what does he have to say about his relationship with Guardiola?

“The truth is we get on very well.”

Oh dear. Anything to add?

“What he wants, above everything, from all the players is that we push a little more. He’s always asking me for more, more, more. Obviously it’s a sacrifice I have to make, that we all have to make, and fortunately tonight it worked and we’ll see if it keeps working in the next game.”

That’s got more than a hint of (bitter) truth to it.

As for Pep’s take on Aguero, it’s a million miles away from the time he compared Jesus to a water melon.

“The guys who score goals; how they have to move and create spaces is about talent and instinct. He [Aguero] does not need to be controlled like a TV remote control. He is going to do it himself.”

Yep, it’s a comparison a million miles more bizarre.

But whether we fight over Aguero for the immediate future like we do over the remote control when anyone has even the temerity to look at it remains to be seen.

No Victor, No Victories

From the sublime City attack to…Sunderland.

The Black Cats’ offensive capabilities are, well, offensive – only two teams have bagged fewer than the 24 goals they’ve managed in 25 oh-so-thrilling matches.

At least David Moyes knows exactly why it’s all gone wrong.

“I think when we lost Victor (Anichebe), that was the key to it. We needed to keep looking for another way to get up the pitch, to have two forwards playing and not to be too exposed defensively. Because we had been making mistakes and conceding goals I had to make sure we could shore it up a little bit as well.”

I’ve got nothing against Victor. He seems like a nice chap and can I put something like his Twitter account is the stuff of legend?

But basing your whole attacking philosophy around a man with three goals from the 11 matches he’s been involved in this season is the kind of straw-clutching that even a frisky scarecrow might baulk at.

“We may have to play a little bit on the counter-attack and play quite fast football. We’re trying to get more balls in the box, more people in the box. It’s the only way we’re going to score goals. As well as, say, Adnan or Fabio and Jermain, we’re trying to get some of the midfield players further up. Ndong got himself a goal (against Crystal Palace), albeit from outside the box. We’re having to really try and find a way.”

There really is only one way with Sunderland, though, and it involves giving Jermain Defoe any kind of service.

A whopping 28.9% of managers agree, although Everton away, Man City at home and then a blank over the next three Gameweeks mean he’s the ninth most transferred-out player this week.

But with Burnley, Watford and Leicester to come after that, he’s also the seventh most popular buy of the Gameweek as well.

Confused?

Maybe now you know what it’s like to be David Moyes.

Harry’s Heaven In Hull

Much like Match Of The Day, we end with Hull City.

Marco Silva has breathed new life into the previously near-death experience that was the Tigers, managing to get two wins and a draw out of their last five matches, fixtures that included Chelsea, United, Liverpool and Arsenal.

Hull’s schedule is now on the up – their next six involve Burnley, Swansea, West Ham and Middlesbrough at home and trips to Leicester and Everton.

Goals are still a bit of a rarity, but clean sheets (two in the last three) are not, and Curtis Davies is happy to lavish the praise on one of his fellow defenders, Harry Maguire.

“I’ve said it on television recently, but Harry is a freak.”

Blimey. With friends like Curtis…

“The first time I played against him, I remember thinking ‘wow, he’s a big lad’. It was in League One and you just assume he’s going to head everything or kick it long, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He’s a cultured player.”

That’s more like it.

Maguire costs just 4.4 and is owned by 0.4%, despite helping to keep those recent clean sheets. He’s also chipped in with a couple of assists this season and, although he’s yet to score, leads all defenders for touches in the box (44), attempts on goal (20) and shots on target (12) since nailing down a regular role in Gameweek 15.

“This is probably the longest run he has had in the team since coming here and with us being in the Premier League, the press have taken notice of him. We’ve always known about the ability he has and that has come out this season. To do it against the likes of Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal as he has done in recent weeks has put the spotlight on it.”

Hull’s fixtures are promising, Silva’s influence is clearly working and the Tigers will definitely take part in Gameweek 28 – they have a home match with Swansea.

We should probably expect a surge in interest for their defenders, then.

And Maguire could very well be freakily good value.