The Pre-match Preamble – Gameweek 14

I was never one to keep a diary. The only time I’ve really wavered is back in pre-pubescent years and, quite frankly, I’m thankful that my Clearasil-coated days of unrequited love never made it onto a page for posterity.

Inadvertently, the Pre-match Preamble has morphed into a diary of sorts: these Saturday morning entries are a journal, telling the tale of my season to look back on. Today’s is certainly written with that in mind.

I want to put this on record as an experiment, just to see how long it takes before I find myself referring to these statements and cringing, almost as if I’d stumbled upon that poem I wrote for the girl in 5C, scrawled on the entry page for September 12, 1987.

I want to declare that I’m happy turning my back on Sergio Aguero.

I want to confirm that I believe I can do without his goals and that my team wil be better off without his genius.

I’d also like to add that I don’t intend to come knocking for the Argentine until my winter Wildcard arrives – maybe not even then.

There, it’s done. I’m outed.

There have been several scenarios built in my head to help justify such statements.

I fully expect Harry Kane to maintain his streak, for Romelu Lukaku to go on bullying back fours and delivering on his promise. As for Jamie Vardy, I’ve convinced myself that he’ll remain unstoppable and undroppable.

Similarly, while there’s no logic to back this up – I’m hoping that we’ve already seen Aguero at his destructive best. Does he have another 25-point haul in him? I can live in hope.

I’ve another more rational reason for going without. Aguero’s hefty 13.1 can take a big bite out of squad resources, just as we enter the Christmas period when the bench is needed most. Turn my back on Sergio and I’m able to stock up on reserves who can deliver festive cheer.

Predictably, Granville believes I’ll pay the price and revert to type.

He’s immediately rounded up the cash to swoop and is slapping the armband on Aguero, even with the promise of curtailed minutes against a Southampton side with a strong defence on the road.

It’s a no-lose situation for Granville. Aguero can defy fixtures and form, and he’s already proven he can punish non-believers with merciless efficiency. I’m cruising for a bruising – laying down the foundations for a clear opportunity for my Manc rival to tie me in knots when I’m inevitably forced to back down.

But then that’s half the fun. Going without Aguero feels dangerous. It’s almost maverick management by proxy, and if it helps differentiate my team from Granville’s, perpetuating our rivalry, it’s an added bonus.

The question is, when will I get to return to these words to prep and season them as the filling in my humble pie?

Next week? Next month? Next year? Five past three today?

I just sense that Granville can hardly wait.