[sbu_large_image] Technical Area
25 January 2011 606 comments
Paul Paul
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After the acrimonious big money move from Sunderland last midweek, a debut goal in a 1-0 win meant Darren Bent was the natural headline-grabber for Gerard Houllier’s side in the home match with Man City, but closer inspection of the Villa game should perhaps offer up even more encouragement for Fantasy Owners of Ashley Young.

Slowly but surely, Houllier is shaping the team and redefining personnel rules according to his own preference, and playing in the hole behind a lone forward, Young looks as if he could reap the rewards. Villa’s 4-2-3-1 formation is not about possession play -they had just 31% of the ball against Roberto Mancini’s side- but the acquisition of Bent not only gives Villa the penalty box predator they were lacking, it allows them to utilise the pace of Gabriel Agbonlahor -wide left of the 3- and gives Stewart Downing a move to central midfield, where his creative guile can help on the counter attack, another feature the side were perhaps missing.

Average Positions

Bent may have only had 1 shot at goal on Saturday evening but his willingness to put in a shift for the team’s cause should not be overlooked; a look at this Average Position heat map from the Man City game shows just how much so. Bent (39) dropped deep continually and was, on average, level with Stilyan Petrov (19), who inhabited the defensive central midfield role.

The free role afforded to Young (7), however, allowed him plenty scope to roam and stay higher up the field and, as a result, he was far and away the furthest forward of any of the Villa players. There’s no surprise, then, that of the nine attempts on goal by Villa, Young had as many as four. Only three Joe Hart saves prevented him from finding the net, though Bent’s finish from one of those rebounded shots did mean he bagged an assist.

Passing Heatmaps

Being the furthest forward allowed Ashley Young to receive the ball more often, and as result, he made over twice the number of passes than Darren Bent. Young’s movement was without restriction and as the heat maps below show, he popped up on both wings as well as staying central for Villa. As a result, he made 55% of all his passes in City’s final third.

Bent, on the other hand, made just 21% of his passes in the opponent’s final third, with 35% of his passes being made in his own half, further indication of his solid, defensive work for the sake of the team.

With only one win on the road thus far, Villa will no doubt be looking at their home games to garner the points that would ensure their survival. They have seven league games left at Villa Park this term and all of them (FUL, BLA, WOL, NEW, STK, WIG, LIV) are definitely winnable. Providing he stays beyond the January transfer window and keeps his role within the current formation, Ashley Young looks as fundamental to their fight as the new boy does.

Paul Is certain he won't make the same mistakes next season. Follow them on Twitter

606 Comments Login to Post a Comment
  1. Horizontal
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Excellent analysis, Sir P.

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    1. Soop
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      + 1, good work as always

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  2. Dirty_Harry
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Thansk, Sir P, I think there are three teams/players on the radar right now:

    Liverpool, Aston villa and Chelsea: all seem to have turned a corner and could see heavy investment over the next month or so.

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    1. tosey
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      really? im getting rid of all my liverpool when i wildcard next week, not bringing any chelsea and only keeping bent from villa

      then again i dont tend to go with the generic ffs team usually

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    2. mackay007
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      I agree the teams look to have turned a corner but its trying to fit them all in especially with none having DGW in GW 27 and I think after that I will look to fit people in. Players you would want all arent that cheap from LIV and CHE (Lampard, Drog, Gerrard, Torres) but Villa are a good alternative (Bent, Albrighton, Young etc)

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    3. Turbodog
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Liv turned a corner? After one decent win?

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      1. Turbodog
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        I'd be looking at Malouda and Bent, that's all

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        1. Voronin
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          Why Malouda? Chelsea turned a corner after one decent win? Pah.

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          1. Turbodog
            • 16 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            Chelsea have been improving for a some time Voronin.
            Don't be so sensitive dear.

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      2. Dago
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        i wasnt feeling liverpool in that way either, just the dgw was the attraction for me.

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  3. tosey
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    young always tends to be hit n miss tho whereas bent is more consistent

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  4. Little Lukin
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    What did the scarecrow get an award for?

    Being outstanding in his field

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    1. Taribo West on a free
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Decided by a straw poll no doubt

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    2. Putherover
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      lol,Welcome little lukin, step into the limo

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    3. Manif
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      I do say, Lukin, good gameweek on your behalf!

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      1. Hybrid.power
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Wow! Epic gameweek. And 10 players including captain to play again! Holy shitness!

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        1. Little Lukin
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          Yeah lucky wildcard, been a poor season. Been laughing at the jokes on here, good ones.

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  5. Morrissey1986
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    The Villa team could certainly be one that develop on this double. Already a good start and now no Caldwell and is Alcaraz back. I can see Villa winning again.

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  6. Taribo West on a free
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Considering shipping out bent for van persie - my rival has bent also. Should I do it?

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  7. matiakez
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Villa have nice fixtures at the minute but its cusing me a head ache for the wildcard because Bent was only going to be a temporary move but now i'm tempted to keep him in..

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    1. Putherover
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      keep him, think about Albrighton too(can use as your cheapie)

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      1. matiakez
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        At the minute i have him Odem and Torres, for the DGW i suppose RVP is a must?

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  8. fanto1979
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Hey Guys,
    Any thoughts on this wild card team? Cheap at the back I know!

    Al Habsi/Foster

    Coleman, Kelly, Murphy, Bardsley, Djourou.

    Nani, Fabregas, VDV, Albrighten, Adam.

    RVP, Tevez, Berba

    Cheers!

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    1. mackay007
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      I'm following your thinking CS's have been difficult to come by so your thinking IMO is right. I would agree with it all but from rumours I've been hearing today Adam will be a Liverpool player before the weekend and therefore would choose someone else (N'Zog, MGP, Brunt etc) to fill that place

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      1. Darren Caskey
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Agreed.. I dropped Adam because of this, hope I`m not regretting!

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      2. fanto1979
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Much appreciated Mac, It's going to be so difficult to get rid of Adam, had him all season! Brunt could be the way to go though with their double coming up.

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      3. Putherover
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Agree, even consider Bently of Brum 2xDGW's or TGW

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        1. matiakez
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          I'll be watching his performances over the next week closely, he could be a key player for thier Double or trebble.

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    2. Nomar
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      All I will say is, look at GW28. Which keeper would you want to play?

      This is why I won't get Al Habsi with Foster when I wildcard.

      Sunderland next 6 GW's are not nice either. Better defensive options available, I think.

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  9. Damo.
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    What do you call a cold Bovine? ....Friesian

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    1. Soop
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Nice. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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      1. Damo.
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        🙂 Ah, its the simple things in life that make me smile.

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      2. maglia rosa
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        very good soop like that one lots 😆

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  10. Darren Caskey
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    WC Played:
    Foster,Begovic
    Djourou,Rafael,Murphy,Kelly,Coleman
    VDV,Nani,Fabregas,Brunt,Dempsey
    Tevez,RVP,Odemwingie

    Yaya for Dempsey next GW..

    Mostly my own stuff but followed a few of the advices on here so thx guys!

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    1. Nomar
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      After the double I don't think Dempsey (or other Fulham players) have got particularly nice fixtures.

      If you didn't have Dempsey this week I'm not sure its worth getting him in as you probably will be looking to get rid or bench him in a week or so's time?

      Nice keeper rotation. Only reason why I'm not getting Begovic on my WC is because I want Huth instead and don't want to double up on SCFC defs.

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  11. David Davros
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Chelsea fans...

    Van Aanholt - he any good? Leicester set to sign him on loan in the next 24 hours along with Curtis Davies apparently.

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    1. FPL Daniel
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      I fancy him before Bruma, but Carlo rates him after Bruma. He is quality but he needs to work a lot. He need strength IMO.

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  12. matiakez
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    I'm a bit worried about playing my WC and overlaoding this DGW and ending up with no return from dross like Kingson and Alcaraz.

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    1. Dago
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      im not ntirely sure what you mean,but if you need to play your WC then dont overload it with DGW players!~%&&*^!

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    2. Nomar
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      You will have missed this GW now anyway. Any changes you make wont come into effect until GW25 starts this weekend.

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      1. matiakez
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Sorry i meant the next one!

        I've already end up with Alcaraz and Kingson offering nothing for this one..

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        1. Nomar
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          Foster or Begovic are no Kingson.

          Defs like Roger Johnson, Liam Ridgewell and Robert Huth are much permanent fixtures in their teams defences than Alcaraz.

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    3. mins26
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      avoid the dross.

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  13. Back on the horse
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Good point about Young, Paulos. you've earned your onions this week

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  14. ZeSuPeR
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    If you were wildcarding this week, would you rather have Bosingwa, or Huth. For the long term.

    Reasons for or against would be appreciated!

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    1. matiakez
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      If Luiz signs its likely Bosingwa will get less game time witnh Ivanovic heading back to RB

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      1. ZeSuPeR
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Thanks, Huth it is =]

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    2. ZeSuPeR
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Also never done a RMT before, input appreciated..




      Stockdale- Van der Sar


      Kelly- Djourou- Bosingwa- Murphy- Coleman


      Fabregas- VdV- Nani -Etherington- Brunt


      Tevez- Berbatov -Van Persie

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      1. ZeSuPeR
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        -Bosingwa +Huth (If this Luiz signs)

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      2. Shhh... I Should Be Working
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Looks decent to me. I don't think Stockdale is likely to play much though. If you've only 3.9 for a keeper you could like at Myhill who might be a regular for WBA now.

        An upside of that is that WBA rotate well with Everton so you could downgrade VDS to Howard in the future if you needed extra funds.

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    3. Nomar
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Huth.

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  15. Morrissey1986
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Dimitar is getting up towards that 20-goal mark, which is going to be important for us," Ferguson told Key103. "And hopefully we will get another one to that level too. Once you do that you know it is a substantial season."

    Ferguson is hoping Rooney will soon get his season on track after his recent impressive performances have not been rewarded with goals.

    "We hope so, he [Rooney] deserves it. He is working his socks off and is playing some great football," he added.

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    1. Maximus Bonimus Pointimus
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      IF Rooney finishes the season with 20 league goals I will be muchos pleased

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  16. HST
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Any city fans out there interested in this?

    http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=200569169749

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  17. Bumbaclot
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    would everyone with charlie adam keep him if he went to liverpool? would anyone consider suarez if he came 2?

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    1. The Rock
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Think i would get rid, Adam would no longer be on penalties and he surely wouldn't be getting as many BP's with Torres and Gerrard around.

      And that depends on the price but probally not.

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      1. Bumbaclot
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        no i dont think i would keep either,,, what price do you think suarez would come in on fantasy league?>

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        1. The Rock
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          My guess would be 9M. If he is cheaper then he might be an option who want a Pool striker but can't afford Torres.

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    2. tosey
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      nah hed be gone for me

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      1. Bumbaclot
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Suarez?

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        1. tosey
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          adam

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    3. Nomar
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      1) No. See The Rock's post for reasons why.

      2) No. Better proven options for no doubt what he'll be priced at.

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      1. Bumbaclot
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        i think he would score more than dzeko... he came in at 9.5?

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        1. The Rock
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          Don't think he'd be more. 9M.

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  18. Kings of Lyon ★
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Duck walks into superdrug, grabs some lip gloss and takes it to the teller whoo rings it up and says thats £4.59 the duck thinks for a bit and replies 'just put it on my bill'

    hows that limo looking?

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    1. maglia rosa
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      if ur names not down ur not coming in 😉

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    2. Shhh... I Should Be Working
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Two ducks wander into a hotel asking for a room for the night. Giggling they tell the receptionist their names are Mr and Mrs Smith.

      Later, as they are about to get down to some duck lovin' they realise they've not brought and protection so ring down to room service. When the delivery guy arrives with the condoms the guy asks if they'd like him to put them on their bill.

      "of course not, we're not effin perverts"

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  19. George Agdgdgwngo
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Please can I have people's thoughts on my Wildcard team:-

    Foster / Gomes, Begovic
    Coleman, Rafeal, Bardsley, Simpson, Murphy
    VDV, Nani, Fab, Malouda, Ferguson
    Van Persie, Berb, Tevez

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    1. stilicho
      • Has Moderation Rights
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Fine, just as fine as when you posted it an hour ago.

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      1. stilicho
        • Has Moderation Rights
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Seriously though - it's very good, although I don't like Ferguson.

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        1. George Agdgdgwngo
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          Thanks for your comments. Didn't get much input an hour ago, so I appreciate your respsonse. I don't like Ferguson, but its the only way I can afford Malouda. The alternative is Adam and someone like N'zobia.

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          1. The Rock
            • 16 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            Wow, you must have some team Value! i tried to see if i could afford that but fell 3.9M short! Well done.

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          2. dA4s
            • Fantasy Football Scout Member
            • 16 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            I also tried and was 1,4 short. My team value is 107,7.
            So.. what's your team value?

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            1. The Rock
              • 16 Years
              15 years, 1 month ago

              Add on at least 1.4 😛

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        2. Louis Van Balls
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          Yeah put in Albrighton or Barton if you have the cash.

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    2. The Rock
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Looks good, I'd keep Ferguson, at least untill after the DGW/TGW and go for Foster.

      Would consider bringing in Brunt though.

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    3. Nomar
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Its fine. Foster and Begovic rotate very well together the rest of the season, although this weekend they both have potentially tricky games.

      The only player I'm not impressed about going forward is Bardsley. In the next 7 weeks Sunderland face Chelsea (h), Spurs (h), Everton (a), Arsenal (a), Liverpool (h) and Man City (a). I'm not sure you'll get many points out of their defence from that run of games.

      I'd be inclined to wait until GW32 now before bringing any Sunderland defenders in.

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      1. George Agdgdgwngo
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Thanks for all your help chaps. Take your point about Bardsley, Think I may go for Kelly instead. How secure do you think he is?

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        1. Nomar
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          I think he's pretty secure, especially as Dalglish has moved Johnson over to right back to accommodate Kelly at left back.

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          1. The Rock
            • 16 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            Wrong way around..

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    4. Drip Doctor
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Jheeeze your team value must be insane to get a team like that!

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  20. ZeSuPeR
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Just bought a new place down in cornwall...

    Newquay?

    Nah the landlord gave me his old one.

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    1. kroky
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      oh my,its worse they are getting:-)

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  21. HST
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

    "That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

    The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

    "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

    Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

    The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

    "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."

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    1. HST
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Fail here is the start -

      Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

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      1. kroky
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        that was brilliant! lmao

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      2. Putherover
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        A friend of mine got run over by a snow plough.

        "I'll sue the bollix" he said , through gritted teeth.

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      3. The Rock
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Very good Hunter!

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    2. Kings of Lyon ★
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      hahahahahaha, i dont know how many people will read that mate but its class 😀

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    3. Shhh... I Should Be Working
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      That's my all time favourite joke. Love it 🙂

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  22. tosey
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    so.....jordan and alex have split up. i guess the only person who didnt see that coming was harvey

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    1. HST
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Genius.

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      1. Enrique
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        +1

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    2. Nomar
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      No, tosey.

      Just no.

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    3. Kings of Lyon ★
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      +1 😀

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    4. Flog the trog
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Ahahahaha

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    5. mr messi
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Jordon and Dwight Yorke have been fighting over custody of Harvey - the loser has to keep him.

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  23. George Agdgdgwngo
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    I'm looking at cheap defenders, can anyone add to the list:-

    Kyle Walker
    Simspon
    Murphy
    Djourou
    Pantsil
    Spector

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    1. hillbillypete
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      kelly

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    2. kroky
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      kelly

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    3. Louis Van Balls
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Carr

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      1. Putherover
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        good answer

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    4. The Rock
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Jara, DGW coming up.

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      1. HuttonDressedasLahm
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        oooh, two x 1 point!!!

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    5. Boom!!!
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      clark/givet

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  24. matiakez
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Has Torres given anyone else a dilema? I was all ready to ditch him after tonight but he looks like he might have found a bit of form.

    I'm thinking i might play my WC this week then maybe chuck him for Tevez or RVP next week.

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  25. Putherover
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    A pregnant traveller woman bursts in the hospital door and roars that she's giving birth. Doctor runs over and asks "Are you dialated?"
    Woman answers back: "Am I dialated? I'm having a baby shur I'm over the moon."

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  26. maglia rosa
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    two gay men get married n lock themselves in a hotel room for 3 dayz n 3 nites to do wot gay men do, on the 4th day one says to the other 'im starving, weve been that busy weve not eaten a thing but u must promise me whilst im gone no w*****g', 'ok ok i promise' replies the other!
    on his return he walks into the room to find jism everywhere on the carpet dripping off the lampshades etc, he says 'i thort i said no w*****g', his friend says 'i didnt i didnt, i only farted'

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    1. HST
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      World of wrong.

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      1. HuttonDressedasLahm
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Thanks for that image!!!

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  27. Davidmon
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    anyone placing any bets on tonights matches?

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    1. Kings of Lyon ★
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      got an acc for all week chelseah bham psv win and villa draw

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      1. Davidmon
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        1 down 3 to go eh!

        i'm tempted to go for a villa win given their last perfromance and arrival Bent, but not sure because Wigan could turn up and make a game of it.

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  28. HST
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    A Thalidomide goes up to an Ice cream van and requests

    "2 cones plese"

    The seller replies "what flavour"

    The Flid answers "I don't give a shit I'm going to drop them anyway"

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  29. Putherover
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Last one for a while
    A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
    The frog says, "Sure. I have this." And he produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. It's bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager; and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and reports: "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you, and he wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
    So the bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

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    1. HST
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Just awful, but i laughed.

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    2. fanny like a split tennis b…
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      ribbish

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      1. Putherover
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        like the name

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  30. Kings of Lyon ★
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Why couldn't jill dando go to the bookies and collect her winnings??

    Because she had a hole in her coupon

    😀

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    1. mr messi
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Now that's gone too far!

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      1. Kings of Lyon ★
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        everyone always says that to me 🙁

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        1. Putherover
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          get in and close the kings, limo full

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          1. Putherover
            • 15 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            *close the door*

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        2. maglia rosa
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          made me laugh 😆

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        3. McEwan
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          sick ones are the best

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      2. Kings of Lyon ★
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        HA you made one about harvey ....

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    2. ZeSuPeR
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      What do you call two mexicans playing basketball against eachother.

      Juan on Juan.

      What does a mexican say to someone who's trying to steal his cheese

      "OI thats NACHO CHEESE"

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