Well it had to happen, didn’t it?
After 11 long Gameweeks of abstinence and piety, Diego Costa (10.9) finally fell from the Suspension Tightrope on the cusp of Christmas.
His record during that time teetering was phenomenal: eight goals; four assists; 16 Fantasy Premier League bonus points; puppies stroked, babies handled and referees smiled at.
Good Diego was Fantasy gold, but his demise has been greeted with an unseemly rush to disown him. More than 274,000 managers have sold him ahead of the Boxing Day visit of Bournemouth even though he’ll be available, with a slate cleaner than a Christian radio station’s playlist, for the New Year’s Eve match against Stoke City.
Joining him in the queue to snap up 6am bargains from Next will be team-mate N’Golo Kante (4.7), who picked up his fourth booking in six matches to vacate the rope of recidivism. The midfielder had also been cautioned in Gameweek 1, meaning he lasted an almost Diego-like 10 matches before seeing yellow again.
Unlike Costa, the Frenchman’s 12.8% ownership base is mainly standing by him, with a mere 20,000+ jumping ship to date.
If Chelsea stole the disciplinary headlines, Leicester City used quantity to catch the eye in their stirringly heated draw with Stoke.
Jamie Vardy (9.6) bypassed the tightrope altogether and went straight into the slammer for three matches for his lunge on Stoke City’s Mame Diouf.
He will miss home matches with Everton and West Ham and a trip to Middlesbrough, with Leicester City today failing in their appeal against referee Craig Pawson’s decision.
What with his horror show in the Manchester United v Palace midweek clash, the man in black endured a torrid week, although his cautions for Christian Fuchs (5.3) and Robert Huth (4.9) were greeted with considerably less incredulity.
The pair of defenders hit the five-card mark as a result and will now miss Boxing Day’s visit of Everton.
Fuchs is a particular loss for the 6.3% of managers who own him and were presumably hoping for decent festive returns from a Leicester defence that has vaguely resembled last season’s rearguard only when playing at home.
As for Vardy, his Gameweek 15 hat-trick against Man City prompted chunky (50,000+) investment in the striker. More than half of those recruits have already sold him since Saturday.
Elsewhere, Pedro Obiang (4.4) was given 45 minutes in West Ham’s win over Hull – just enough time to pick up his fifth caution and miss a Boxing Day in Swansea. The Hammers will also be without their most recent man of the match, T. Post, who only plays at home.
The final weekend sinner was Burnley’s Matt Lowton (4.5), whose fifth booking of the season releases him from a home match with Middlesbrough on December 26.
Marko Arnautovic (7.2) served the first of a three-stretch at the weekend and remains unavailable until a Gameweek 20 home fixture with Watford, while Sergio Aguero (12.8) will return on New Year’s Eve, for a trip to Liverpool, as he completes a quadruple for his bold re-interpretation of the Argentine tango in collaboration with David Luiz’ upper torso.
His City team-mate Fernando (4.7) became the latest to hop onto the wire after troubling the referee for a third time in the league – to go with an EFL Cup caution – in the win over Arsenal.
Joining him was Liverpool’s 6.0%-owned Dejan Lovren (5.0), who received his fourth caution of the campaign for getting embroiled in the outrage over Ross Barkley’s late, late show on Jordan Henderson’s ankle during the Merseyside derby.
Hull City’s Jake Livermore (4.8) also earned a fourth caution of the season last time out – like Fernando, he’s been booked three times in the league and once in the EFL Cup.
The new boys joined all manner of miscreants still on the edge of a one-match festive holiday, namely: Harry Arter (5.0); Dan Gosling (4.7); Dean Marney (4.5); Jeff Hendrick (5.4), David Luiz (6.1); Nemanja Matic (5.1); Pedro (7.1); Damien Delaney (4.8); James McArthur (5.0); Aleksandar Kolarov (5.8); Antonio Barragan (4.5); Adam Clayton (4.3); Ryan Shawcross (4.9); Lynden Gooch (4.3); Billy Jones (4.4); Steven Pienaar (4.9); Kyle Naughton (4.5); Jordi Amat (4.1); Jan Vertonghen (5.7); Kyle Walker (6.1); Victor Wanyama (4.8); Miguel Britos (4.4); Troy Deeney (6.8) and Michail Antonio (6.7).
That rag-tag bunch now have until the end of December 31 to keep out of trouble and see their disciplinary debt wiped off – which means that those on the list from Spurs, Palace and Watford have just one more match to survive as Gameweek 19, for them, takes place on New Year’s Day, when the tightrope is extended to 10 yellows.
This is particularly pertinent for the likes of Spurs pair Walker and Vertonghen and arguably lessens the likelihood of rotation ahead of a Gameweek 20 clash with Chelsea. Mauricio Pochettino can field both against Southampton in Gameweek 18 knowing that a booking for either means they would serve a ban in the New Year’s Day clash with Watford.
But Chelsea’s Luiz and Pedro, along with City’s Kolarov, may be more susceptible to rotation, given that they have to navigate two more matches before the turn of the year.
Back from bans in time for Christmas are: Oriol Romeu (4.5); Fernandinho (5.3) and Phil Jagielka (4.8).
The Men In Black
The beleaguered Pawson is a man of many talents. He can neglect to send off players for two-footed lunges, buck his own trend in the very next match and still find time to give penalties.
His award for Stoke on Saturday was his second of the season, making it four for the Potters so far, from which Bojan has scored twice.
Lee Mason is way ahead of Pawson when it comes to awarding spot-kicks – his decision in the West Ham v Hull match was his sixth of the season. That’s the third highest figure among the whistle blowers, and his 0.67 penalties per game average also puts him in the top three.
Neil Swarbrick was the other arbiter to point to the spot in the Gameweek, the third time he’s done so this season.
The decision gave Middlesbrough their first penalty of the year and the increasingly popular Alvaro Negredo – his 67,000 new managers so far this Gameweek leaves him second only to Zlatan Ibrahimovic for transfers in – was happy to take full advantage.
