Playing the Wildcard over a two-week period seemed such a good idea.
By going early ahead of Gameweek 32, I could catch some price rises and give myself the extended “thinking time”. But that time has been tortuous.
I’ve never given birth, but I’m pretty sure having a Wildcard active ranks alongside it on the agony scale.
Maybe you have and can confirm that, or maybe you’ve got a significant other handy who may have gone through the miracle of childbirth. Either way, by all means, check my theory.
I reckon that I’m spot on and that you are about to receive a knowing and compassionate response from said partner.
The similarities are clear. It can be a unnecessarily anxious and protracted experience and, when we’ve finally come out the other side, we never seem to remember how distressing the whole thing was. We go back for more, seemingly oblivious of what has gone before.
And then there are the post-Wildcard doubts. I look on my own creation this morning not with love and affection but with nagging doubts as I fixate on all the imperfections. Chris Smalling, I’m looking at you.
Not that he’s to blame.
I doubt that any manager playing their Wildcard now, next weekend or in the Gameweeks to come will commit their squad and come away feeling 100% happy.
The fact is Smalling is typical of the situation we face for the run-in, with secure starts perhaps impossible to find.
We know the United centre-back won’t play every match but, actually that’s probably the case for many of the outfield players selected. The difference with Smalling is that the risk is out there and in the open. There are further hidden traps in my squad and yours.
Over the years, I’ve learned to step away from a Wildcard team. The freedom to continually tinker and tamper can be detrimental and, in all likelihood, the best team I’ve selected was probably my very first.
Even now I’m trying to scratch around for some form of differential, pushing back against the accepted template that has been formed and discussed at length on these pages.
But risk-taking has failed me this season. When I’ve tried to be different, I’ve never hit the mark. So while relatively daring moves for single Gameweek assets – perhaps Marko Arnautovic or Henrikh Mkhitaryan – will tempt me through to 11.29, I am still fighting the urge to go with them.
When the result of this two-week incubation period is finally out there, it probably won’t stand out in the playground of Wildcards. But, like all the managers giving birth today, I’ll be besotted for a while, convinced that it will change the world.
Then it will be all tantrums and tears.
