Tragic news for football fans around the globe broke this week as the Special One’s glorious reign at the theatre of dreams came to an end. Despite winning the Mickey Mouse Cup and beating Ajax’s under 13s in a second tier European competition, Jose Mourinho was dumped back on the scrap heap by Manchester United.
This will serve as a stark reminder to all our managers that football is a results business and bringing a big red bus to the party won’t cut it for our remaining 2 rounds of group stage matches!
To see the current standings for yourself please follow the link here.
Group Anichebe
Our round up starts with one of the shocks of the round as Finding Nuno managed to find some form and hold potential minnow-eaters Claudio With a Chance of Modballs to a draw. Despite scoring only 428 points to the Mod’s 451 points overall, Finding Nuno were able to benefit from a poor captaincy decision from the Mod’s as Pirlo’s Pen was able to comfortably outscore Andy.
American Dycho made short work of Dirty Zidancing in the other game in this group with a comprehensive 6.5 – 2.5 victory. Murders and Amputations were the order of the day for Dycho with Dirty Zidancing looking in danger of quickstepping out of the competition unless they can get their act together.
The next round of fixtures will see Claudio With a Chance of Modballs entertain Dirty Zidancing, whilst American Dycho’s next victim will be Finding Nuno.
Group Brunt
In our second group Guardiolas of the Galaxy were humbled by The Big Bang Thierry in a crushing 8-1 defeat. Rumours are that Chris Pratt is being called in as caretaker manager for Guardiolas of the Galaxy who couldn’t handle the expansive style of The Big Bang Thierry.
Neville Wears Prada had barely got out of hair and makeup before being Gegenpressed into submission by RoboKlopp in a 6-3 defeat. Speedyboyzz led from the front in the captaincy match up, showing no signs of rust with a score of 81 points being the highest of the round!
This coming week sees as an elimination match for Guardiolas of the Galaxy and Neville Wears Prada alongside a top of the table clash between RoboKlopp and The Big Bang Thierry.
Group Cuellar
Rumours of match fixing have tainted this group as The Godfather: Pardew extended their unbeaten start to the competition ‘hammering’ Thor: Wagnerok 5-4. Don CorLawrone was unable to comment as he was arranging a funeral.
Elsewhere in this group The Silence of The Lambert failed to make any noise and were eliminated by Howe to Train Your Dragon who are starting to get off the ground and are really clawing their way back into contention.
The Godfather: Pardew will look to extend their dubious run of victories against The Silence of The Lambert this week. Thor: Wagnerok will play against Howe to Train Your Dragon who make great use of their ‘wing’ers.
Group Demel
Despite failing to submit a teamsheet on time, the Fantasy God’s were smiling on Hughes Line is it Emery? as they defeated Alice in Wengerland. Despite being penalised and forced to field their worst OR ranked player as captain, Heels over Head did his team proud with a narrow win over Toblerone52. That makes it 3 captaincy defeats on the spin for Toblerone52 with rumours circulating that he’s being thrown down a rabbit hole as we speak.
When ‘Arry Met Sarri remain undefeated in the competition with the Jungle King and Chain Smoking Banker walking all over The Hills Have Moyes.
All teams can still qualify in this group and this week sees Hughes Line is it Emery? matched up against The Hills Have Moyes with Alice in Wengerland up against When ‘Arry Met Sarri.
Notable Performers
The Big Bang Thierry are our team of the week with an explosive, banging and really quite big score of 493 points easily enough to see off the pathetic efforts of Guardiolas of the Galaxy.
The highest scorer was Speedyboyzz with 81 points and best press conference goes to AZ who will be hoping to fight off shouts of no confidence amongst his ‘honourable’ friends. Special mention to Eunuch Jelly’s effort which can be found here.
Best of Luck for Matchday 5, except for When ‘Arry Met Sarri of course.
Toblerone52 reporting from the middle of a rabbit warren.
5 years, 5 months agoGotG Pathetic efforts 😆 harsh (but fair tbh)