The latest episode, created mid-afternoon today, was not recorded amidst a playground, although, at times, the background noise and smutty innuendo would suggest as much.

While the fruit of our loins play merrily in adjacent rooms, Granville and I retire to find some quiet and systematically pull apart another week of Fantasy football with all the usual regulars thrown in. Granville has a 22-point lead to show for his efforts, while I’m doing all I can to remain calm after what can best be described as a false start. The green arrows are coming. Surely they’re coming?

Join the kindergarten cops via this link or stream the bedtime story using the handy player below…

About The Author

“Mark created the beast. He's now looking to tame it.”

Mark

> See all posts by this author

  1. Which player out of this three to right hand man baines until January transfers: I dont have liverpool or spurs but gibbs is .6 cheaper and Arsenal have proven strong at the back.

    Glen Johnson
    Kyle Walker
    Keiran Gibbs

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
  2. Last....

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
  3. they are only 500,000 and 260,000 and they are giving me out advice, eh think i should turn this off

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
  4. Is it worth getting rid of podolski and fellaini for suarez and duff for a 4 point hit?

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
    1. yep - or go for Bale if you have the $$$

      • 2 years, 1 month ago
  5. Morning all

    Who to captain out of this motley crew? ... currently with Bale but think Tevez may do some damage .... or then again Ivanovic ....oooh my head hurts

    Vorm

    Baines, Jagielka, Vertonghen, Ivanovic

    Dembele, Santi Cazorla, Kagawa, Bale

    Tevez, Pogrebnyak

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
  6. Ivanovic or Mcauley? both have clean sheet potentials,

    Otherwise team is:
    Mannone
    Vertonghen, Jenk, McAuley or Ivanovic
    Santi, Fell, Michu, Ramirez, Haz
    Tevez, Ba,

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
    1. Ivanovic is the go to man.

      • 2 years, 1 month ago
  7. Transfer Fellaini out for Bale on GW8?

    • 2 years, 1 month ago

Scout Picks

For Gameweek 12

  • Begovic
  • Azpilicueta
  • Bertrand
  • Clichy
  • Sánchez
  • Tadic
  • Moses
  • Hazard
  • Aguero
  • Diego Costa
  • Austin
  • Clyne
  • Zaha
  • Kane

From the Community…

Comments

Comments loading…

Hot Topics

Comments loading…

Articles

Fixture Ticker

The Watchlist

Goalkeepers

Last updated: 18 Nov, 2014 1:48pm
Player Club Factors
Up Courtois CHE B, Vs
Up Adrián WHM B, Vs
Up Guzan AVL B, Vs
Up Green QPR C, Vs
Down Forster SOT A, VsX
Up Fabianski SWA B
Up Krul NEW A
Up Heaton BRN B, Vs

Defenders

Last updated: 19 Nov, 2014 7:15am
Player Club Factors
No Change Baines EVE A, Inj
No Change Ivanovic CHE B, Vs
Up Cresswell WHM B, Vs
Up Vlaar AVL B, Vs, Inj
Down Bertrand SOT A, VsX
Up Taylor SWA B
Up Yun QPR C, Vs, £
Up Dummett NEW B, £
Up Trippier BRN B, Vs
Up Lovren LIV C, Vs
Down Chambers ARS B
Down Clichy MCI C
Down Kaboul TOT C

Midfielders

Last updated: 19 Nov, 2014 7:15am
Player Club Factors
No Change Sánchez ARS A, OoP
Up Hazard CHE B, Vs
Up Downing WHM B, Vs
Up Oscar CHE B, Vs
Down Di María MUN C, Inj
Up Sigurdsson SWA B
Up Chadli TOT A
Up Sterling LIV C, Vs
Down Tadic SOT B, VsX
Up Barkley EVE C, Rest
Up Sissoko NEW B
Up Zaha CPL C
Down Fer QPR C, Vs
Up Boyd BRN C, Vs, £
Down Brunt WBA B

Forwards

Last updated: 19 Nov, 2014 7:14am
Player Club Factors
No Change Aguero MCI A
Up Diego Costa CHE B, Vs, Sus
Up Austin QPR A, Vs, £
No Change Sakho WHM B, Vs, £
Down Pellè SOT B, VsX, Sus
Down Berahino WBA B, VsX, £
Up Bony SWA B
Down Welbeck ARS B, Inj
No Change van Persie MUN B
Up Sturridge LIV C, Vs, Inj
No Change Kane TOT B, Rest, £
No Change Ayoze Pérez NEW A, Rest

Selection Factors

A, B, C Current Form
Vs Favourable Fixtures
VsX Unfavourable Fixtures
Rest Rotation Risk
Inj Injured/Returning from Injury
OoP Out of Position
£ Potential Bargain
Sus Suspended/Near Suspension

The Suspension Tightrope

Player Team YC
Weimann AVL 4
Diego Costa CHE 4
Fábregas CHE 4
Barry EVE 4
Naismith EVE 4
Moore LEI 4
Colback NEW 4
Janmaat NEW 4
Dunne QPR 4
Pellè SOT 4
Schneiderlin SOT 4
Taylor SWA 4
Williams SWA 4
Reid WHM 4

“Last year was quite open for me, I was in good positions, but I was quite lucky because I was getting free kicks and some penalties as well.”

Yaya Toure Manchester City midfielder