The latest episode, created mid-afternoon today, was not recorded amidst a playground, although, at times, the background noise and smutty innuendo would suggest as much.

While the fruit of our loins play merrily in adjacent rooms, Granville and I retire to find some quiet and systematically pull apart another week of Fantasy football with all the usual regulars thrown in. Granville has a 22-point lead to show for his efforts, while I’m doing all I can to remain calm after what can best be described as a false start. The green arrows are coming. Surely they’re coming?

Join the kindergarten cops via this link or stream the bedtime story using the handy player below…

About The Author

“Mark created the beast. He's now looking to tame it.”

Mark

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  1. Which player out of this three to right hand man baines until January transfers: I dont have liverpool or spurs but gibbs is .6 cheaper and Arsenal have proven strong at the back.

    Glen Johnson
    Kyle Walker
    Keiran Gibbs

    • 2 years, 7 months ago
  2. Last....

    • 2 years, 7 months ago
  3. they are only 500,000 and 260,000 and they are giving me out advice, eh think i should turn this off

    • 2 years, 7 months ago
  4. Is it worth getting rid of podolski and fellaini for suarez and duff for a 4 point hit?

    • 2 years, 7 months ago
    1. yep - or go for Bale if you have the $$$

      • 2 years, 7 months ago
  5. Morning all

    Who to captain out of this motley crew? ... currently with Bale but think Tevez may do some damage .... or then again Ivanovic ....oooh my head hurts

    Vorm

    Baines, Jagielka, Vertonghen, Ivanovic

    Dembele, Santi Cazorla, Kagawa, Bale

    Tevez, Pogrebnyak

    • 2 years, 7 months ago
  6. Ivanovic or Mcauley? both have clean sheet potentials,

    Otherwise team is:
    Mannone
    Vertonghen, Jenk, McAuley or Ivanovic
    Santi, Fell, Michu, Ramirez, Haz
    Tevez, Ba,

    • 2 years, 7 months ago
    1. Ivanovic is the go to man.

      • 2 years, 7 months ago
  7. Transfer Fellaini out for Bale on GW8?

    • 2 years, 7 months ago

Scout Picks

For Gameweek 38

  • Schmeichel
  • Terry
  • Ivanovic
  • Coleman
  • Young
  • Silva
  • Bolasie
  • Walcott
  • Aguero
  • Ulloa
  • Lukaku
  • Vlaar
  • Mahrez
  • Benteke

From the Community…

Fixture Ticker

The Watchlist

Goalkeepers

Last updated: 19 May, 2015 8:10am
Player Club Factors
No Change Ospina ARS B, Vs, Rest, £
No Change Schmeichel LEI A, Vs, £
No Change Pantilimon SUN C, VsX, £
No Change Howard EVE B
No Change Adrián WHM B
Down Harper HUL B, VsX, £
Up Myhill WBA A, VsX, £
Up Krul NEW C, £

Defenders

Last updated: 19 May, 2015 8:11am
Player Club Factors
No Change Koscielny ARS B, Vs
No Change Morgan LEI A, Vs, £
Up Kolarov MCI B, Rest, £
Down Ivanovic CHE C, Vs
No Change Cresswell WHM B
Up Smalling MUN B, Vs
No Change Coleman EVE B
No Change Van Aanholt SUN B, VsX, £
Up Vlaar AVL C, Vs, £
Down Skrtel LIV C

Midfielders

Last updated: 19 May, 2015 8:12am
Player Club Factors
No Change Sánchez ARS B, Vs
Up Silva MCI A
Down Hazard CHE C, Vs
No Change Ramsey ARS B, Vs
Up Bolasie CPL B
No Change Albrighton LEI B, Vs, £
No Change Grealish AVL C, Vs, £
Up Mata MUN B, Vs
Up Sigurdsson SWA B
Up Mirallas EVE B, Rest
Up Sissoko NEW C, Inj
Down Coutinho LIV C

Forwards

Last updated: 19 May, 2015 8:12am
Player Club Factors
Up Aguero MCI A
Up Lukaku EVE B
No Change Benteke AVL B, Vs
Up Murray CPL B, £
Up Gomis SWA B, Inj
Up Ulloa LEI B, Vs, Rest, £
Up Pellè SOT B
No Change NDoye HUL B, VsX, £
Down Giroud ARS C, Vs
Up Ayoze Pérez NEW B, Inj

Selection Factors

A, B, C Current Form
Vs Favourable Fixtures
VsX Unfavourable Fixtures
Rest Rotation Risk
Inj Injured/Returning from Injury
OoP Out of Position
£ Potential Bargain
Sus Suspended/Near Suspension

“All players will blank a few times during the season. When almost all do it in the same Gameweek, it is tough to take, but that's just the dark side of probability.”

Abreu 42 Community regular