The latest episode, created mid-afternoon today, was not recorded amidst a playground, although, at times, the background noise and smutty innuendo would suggest as much.

While the fruit of our loins play merrily in adjacent rooms, Granville and I retire to find some quiet and systematically pull apart another week of Fantasy football with all the usual regulars thrown in. Granville has a 22-point lead to show for his efforts, while I’m doing all I can to remain calm after what can best be described as a false start. The green arrows are coming. Surely they’re coming?

Join the kindergarten cops via this link or stream the bedtime story using the handy player below…

About The Author

“Mark created the beast. He's now looking to tame it.”

Mark

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  1. Which player out of this three to right hand man baines until January transfers: I dont have liverpool or spurs but gibbs is .6 cheaper and Arsenal have proven strong at the back.

    Glen Johnson
    Kyle Walker
    Keiran Gibbs

    • 2 years, 25 days ago
  2. Last....

    • 2 years, 25 days ago
  3. they are only 500,000 and 260,000 and they are giving me out advice, eh think i should turn this off

    • 2 years, 24 days ago
  4. Is it worth getting rid of podolski and fellaini for suarez and duff for a 4 point hit?

    • 2 years, 24 days ago
    1. yep - or go for Bale if you have the $$$

      • 2 years, 23 days ago
  5. Morning all

    Who to captain out of this motley crew? ... currently with Bale but think Tevez may do some damage .... or then again Ivanovic ....oooh my head hurts

    Vorm

    Baines, Jagielka, Vertonghen, Ivanovic

    Dembele, Santi Cazorla, Kagawa, Bale

    Tevez, Pogrebnyak

    • 2 years, 24 days ago
  6. Ivanovic or Mcauley? both have clean sheet potentials,

    Otherwise team is:
    Mannone
    Vertonghen, Jenk, McAuley or Ivanovic
    Santi, Fell, Michu, Ramirez, Haz
    Tevez, Ba,

    • 2 years, 24 days ago
    1. Ivanovic is the go to man.

      • 2 years, 23 days ago
  7. Transfer Fellaini out for Bale on GW8?

    • 2 years, 23 days ago

Scout Picks

For Gameweek 9

  • Fabianski
  • Baines
  • Dawson
  • Bertrand
  • Sánchez
  • Sterling
  • Eriksen
  • Tadic
  • Pellè
  • Aguero
  • Berahino
  • Vlaar
  • Chadli
  • Lukaku

From the Community…

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Articles

Fixture Ticker

The Watchlist

Goalkeepers

Last updated: 28 Oct, 2014 7:32am
Player Club Factors
No Change Forster SOT A
Up Adrián WHM B, Vs
Up Courtois CHE B, Vs
No Change Howard EVE B, Vs
Up Schmeichel LEI C, Vs
No Change Szczesny ARS C
No Change Lloris TOT B
No Change Foster WBA C
No Change Guzan AVL C
No Change Krul NEW C

Defenders

Last updated: 28 Oct, 2014 8:43am
Player Club Factors
No Change Baines EVE A, Vs
Up Ivanovic CHE B, Vs
No Change Bertrand SOT A
No Change Chambers ARS C, £
Up Cresswell WHM B, Vs
No Change Kaboul TOT B
No Change Vlaar AVL C
Up Alcaraz EVE C, Vs, Rest, £
No Change Dawson WBA B
Up Trippier BRN B, Vs
Up Moore LEI C, Vs
Up Shaw MUN C
Down Lovren LIV C, Vs
No Change Taylor SWA B, VsX

Midfielders

Last updated: 28 Oct, 2014 9:14am
Player Club Factors
Up Sánchez ARS A, Vs
No Change Tadic SOT A
Down Sterling LIV A
No Change Di María MUN A
No Change Sigurdsson SWA B, VsX
Up Hazard CHE B
Up Mane SOT B
Up Downing WHM B, Vs, £
No Change Chadli TOT B, Inj
Down Fábregas CHE B
No Change Eriksen TOT A, Vs
No Change Silva MCI B
Up Moses STO B, £
No Change Bolasie CPL B
Down Henderson LIV B

Forwards

Last updated: 28 Oct, 2014 8:44am
Player Club Factors
No Change Aguero MCI A
No Change Pellè SOT A
No Change Welbeck ARS B, Inj
Up Berahino WBA A, £
Down Diego Costa CHE A, VsX, Inj
Down Sakho WHM A, Vs, Inj, £
Up Lukaku EVE B, Vs
Up Bony SWA A, VsX
Up van Persie MUN B
Down Ulloa LEI C, Vs
Down Cissé NEW A, Vs, Inj

Selection Factors

A, B, C Current Form
Vs Favourable Fixtures
VsX Unfavourable Fixtures
Rest Rotation Risk
Inj Injured/Returning from Injury
OoP Out of Position
£ Potential Bargain
Sus Suspended/Near Suspension

The Suspension Tightrope

Player Team YC
Fábregas CHE 4
Naismith EVE 4
Pellè SOT 4
Cattermole SUN 4
Gardner WBA 4
Reid WHM 4
Diego Costa CHE 3
Jedinak CPL 3
Barry EVE 3
Huddlestone HUL 3
Robertson HUL 3
Moore LEI 3
Moreno LIV 3
Fernandinho MCI 3
Mangala MCI 3
Y Touré MCI 3
van Persie MUN 3
Colback NEW 3
Janmaat NEW 3
Dunne QPR 3
Henry QPR 3
Schneiderlin SOT 3
Mame Biram Diouf STO 3
Shawcross STO 3
Wickham SUN 3
Taylor SWA 3
Rose TOT 3
Dawson WBA 3
Dorrans WBA 3

“Last year was quite open for me, I was in good positions, but I was quite lucky because I was getting free kicks and some penalties as well.”

Yaya Toure Manchester City midfielder