The latest episode, created mid-afternoon today, was not recorded amidst a playground, although, at times, the background noise and smutty innuendo would suggest as much.

While the fruit of our loins play merrily in adjacent rooms, Granville and I retire to find some quiet and systematically pull apart another week of Fantasy football with all the usual regulars thrown in. Granville has a 22-point lead to show for his efforts, while I’m doing all I can to remain calm after what can best be described as a false start. The green arrows are coming. Surely they’re coming?

Join the kindergarten cops via this link or stream the bedtime story using the handy player below…

About The Author

“Mark created the beast. He's now looking to tame it.”

Mark

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  1. Which player out of this three to right hand man baines until January transfers: I dont have liverpool or spurs but gibbs is .6 cheaper and Arsenal have proven strong at the back.

    Glen Johnson
    Kyle Walker
    Keiran Gibbs

    • 2 years, 3 months ago
  2. Last....

    • 2 years, 3 months ago
  3. they are only 500,000 and 260,000 and they are giving me out advice, eh think i should turn this off

    • 2 years, 3 months ago
  4. Is it worth getting rid of podolski and fellaini for suarez and duff for a 4 point hit?

    • 2 years, 3 months ago
    1. yep - or go for Bale if you have the $$$

      • 2 years, 3 months ago
  5. Morning all

    Who to captain out of this motley crew? ... currently with Bale but think Tevez may do some damage .... or then again Ivanovic ....oooh my head hurts

    Vorm

    Baines, Jagielka, Vertonghen, Ivanovic

    Dembele, Santi Cazorla, Kagawa, Bale

    Tevez, Pogrebnyak

    • 2 years, 3 months ago
  6. Ivanovic or Mcauley? both have clean sheet potentials,

    Otherwise team is:
    Mannone
    Vertonghen, Jenk, McAuley or Ivanovic
    Santi, Fell, Michu, Ramirez, Haz
    Tevez, Ba,

    • 2 years, 3 months ago
    1. Ivanovic is the go to man.

      • 2 years, 3 months ago
  7. Transfer Fellaini out for Bale on GW8?

    • 2 years, 3 months ago

Scout Picks

For Gameweek 22

  • Adrián
  • Ivanovic
  • Skrtel
  • Baines
  • Sánchez
  • Hazard
  • Chadli
  • Downing
  • Austin
  • Aguero
  • Kane
  • Bertrand
  • Puncheon
  • Ings

From the Community…

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Fixture Ticker

The Watchlist

Goalkeepers

Last updated: 28 Jan, 2015 3:45pm
Player Club Factors
No Change Pantilimon SUN B, Vs
Up De Gea MUN B, Vs
Up Forster SOT A
Up Begovic STO A, Vs
Up Ospina ARS B, Vs, Rest
Up Foster WBA A, Vs
Up Courtois CHE B, Vs, Inj
Up Hart MCI C, Vs

Defenders

Last updated: 28 Jan, 2015 3:29pm
Player Club Factors
No Change Ivanovic CHE A, Inj
Up Bertrand SOT B
Up Koscielny ARS A, Vs
No Change Van Aanholt SUN B, Vs
Up Jones MUN B, Vs
No Change Wisdom WBA A
Up Wollscheid STO B, Vs, £
Down Janmaat NEW B
Down Baines EVE B
Down Zabaleta MCI B, Rest
Up Davies HUL C, Vs
Down Trippier BRN B, VsX
No Change Ward CPL C
No Change Hutton AVL B, VsX

Midfielders

Last updated: 28 Jan, 2015 8:18am
Player Club Factors
No Change Sánchez ARS A, Vs
No Change Hazard CHE B
Up Puncheon CPL A, Vs, Rest, £
No Change Di María MUN C, Vs, Inj
Up Cazorla ARS A, Vs
No Change Fábregas CHE B, Vs, Inj
Down Sterling LIV B, VsX, OoP
Up Moses STO B, Vs
No Change Chadli TOT B
Up Tadic SOT B, Vs
Down Downing WHM A, VsX
Down Silva MCI B
No Change Eriksen TOT B

Forwards

Last updated: 28 Jan, 2015 6:53pm
Player Club Factors
Up Aguero MCI C
Up Giroud ARS B, Vs
Down Kane TOT B, £
Up Rooney MUN B, Vs, OoP
Down Austin QPR B
Up Pellè SOT B, Vs
No Change Berahino WBA B
Up Defoe SUN B, Vs
Down Ings BRN A, VsX, £
Up Gayle CPL A, £
Up Drogba CHE C, Vs
Up Gomis SWA B

Selection Factors

A, B, C Current Form
Vs Favourable Fixtures
VsX Unfavourable Fixtures
Rest Rotation Risk
Inj Injured/Returning from Injury
OoP Out of Position
£ Potential Bargain
Sus Suspended/Near Suspension

The Suspension Tightrope

Player Team YC
Cattermole SUN 9
Diego Costa CHE 8
Barry EVE 8
Bardsley STO 8
Reid WHM 8
Hutton AVL 7
Fábregas CHE 7
Matic CHE 7
Gerrard LIV 7
Colback NEW 7
Dunne QPR 7
Pellè SOT 7
Taylor SWA 7

“Last year was quite open for me, I was in good positions, but I was quite lucky because I was getting free kicks and some penalties as well.”

Yaya Toure Manchester City midfielder