The latest episode, created mid-afternoon today, was not recorded amidst a playground, although, at times, the background noise and smutty innuendo would suggest as much.

While the fruit of our loins play merrily in adjacent rooms, Granville and I retire to find some quiet and systematically pull apart another week of Fantasy football with all the usual regulars thrown in. Granville has a 22-point lead to show for his efforts, while I’m doing all I can to remain calm after what can best be described as a false start. The green arrows are coming. Surely they’re coming?

Join the kindergarten cops via this link or stream the bedtime story using the handy player below…

About The Author

“Mark created the beast. He's now looking to tame it.”

Mark

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  1. Which player out of this three to right hand man baines until January transfers: I dont have liverpool or spurs but gibbs is .6 cheaper and Arsenal have proven strong at the back.

    Glen Johnson
    Kyle Walker
    Keiran Gibbs

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
  2. Last....

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
  3. they are only 500,000 and 260,000 and they are giving me out advice, eh think i should turn this off

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
  4. Is it worth getting rid of podolski and fellaini for suarez and duff for a 4 point hit?

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
    1. yep - or go for Bale if you have the $$$

      • 2 years, 1 month ago
  5. Morning all

    Who to captain out of this motley crew? ... currently with Bale but think Tevez may do some damage .... or then again Ivanovic ....oooh my head hurts

    Vorm

    Baines, Jagielka, Vertonghen, Ivanovic

    Dembele, Santi Cazorla, Kagawa, Bale

    Tevez, Pogrebnyak

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
  6. Ivanovic or Mcauley? both have clean sheet potentials,

    Otherwise team is:
    Mannone
    Vertonghen, Jenk, McAuley or Ivanovic
    Santi, Fell, Michu, Ramirez, Haz
    Tevez, Ba,

    • 2 years, 1 month ago
    1. Ivanovic is the go to man.

      • 2 years, 1 month ago
  7. Transfer Fellaini out for Bale on GW8?

    • 2 years, 1 month ago

Scout Picks

For Gameweek 12

  • Begovic
  • Azpilicueta
  • Bertrand
  • Clichy
  • Sánchez
  • Tadic
  • Moses
  • Hazard
  • Aguero
  • Diego Costa
  • Austin
  • Clyne
  • Zaha
  • Kane

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Fixture Ticker

The Watchlist

Goalkeepers

Last updated: 25 Nov, 2014 11:26am
Player Club Factors
No Change Courtois CHE B, Vs
No Change Adrián WHM B, Vs
Up Fabianski SWA B, Vs
No Change Guzan AVL B, Vs
Up Green QPR C, Vs
Up Krul NEW A, VsX
Up Heaton BRN B, Vs
Up Foster WBA B

Defenders

Last updated: 27 Nov, 2014 2:16pm
Player Club Factors
Up Ivanovic CHE B, Vs
Down Baines EVE B, Inj
Up Taylor SWA B
No Change Cresswell WHM B, Vs
Up Hutton AVL C, Vs
Up Yun QPR C, Vs, £
No Change Dummett NEW B, VsX, £
Up Trippier BRN B, Vs
No Change Chambers ARS B
Down Bertrand SOT A, VsX
Up Dawson WBA C

Midfielders

Last updated: 25 Nov, 2014 2:16pm
Player Club Factors
No Change Sánchez ARS B, OoP
No Change Hazard CHE A, Vs
Up Sigurdsson SWA B, Vs
Up Di María MUN B, Vs
No Change Oscar CHE B, Vs
Down Downing WHM B, Vs, Inj
Up Y Touré MCI A
Up Bolasie CPL A
Down Chadli TOT B, Inj
Down Sterling LIV C, Vs
Up Sissoko NEW B, VsX
No Change Barkley EVE C, Rest
No Change Boyd BRN C, Vs, £

Forwards

Last updated: 28 Nov, 2014 9:43am
Player Club Factors
No Change Aguero MCI A
No Change Diego Costa CHE A, Vs, Sus
No Change Austin QPR B, Vs, £
Up Rooney MUN A, Vs, £
Up Bony SWA A, Vs
Down Sakho WHM B, Vs, Inj
Up Kane TOT B, Rest, £
Up Ings BRN A, Vs
Down Pellè SOT B, VsX, Sus
Up Giroud ARS B, Inj
Down Berahino WBA C, £
Up Lukaku EVE B

Selection Factors

A, B, C Current Form
Vs Favourable Fixtures
VsX Unfavourable Fixtures
Rest Rotation Risk
Inj Injured/Returning from Injury
OoP Out of Position
£ Potential Bargain
Sus Suspended/Near Suspension

The Suspension Tightrope

Player Team YC
Weimann AVL 4
Diego Costa CHE 4
Fábregas CHE 4
Barry EVE 4
Naismith EVE 4
Huddlestone HUL 4
Livermore HUL 4
Robertson HUL 4
Moore LEI 4
Skrtel LIV 4
Colback NEW 4
Janmaat NEW 4
Sissoko NEW 4
Pellè SOT 4
Schneiderlin SOT 4
Mame Biram Diouf STO 4
Taylor SWA 4
Williams SWA 4

“Last year was quite open for me, I was in good positions, but I was quite lucky because I was getting free kicks and some penalties as well.”

Yaya Toure Manchester City midfielder