[sbu_large_image] Technical Area
25 January 2011 606 comments
Paul Paul
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After the acrimonious big money move from Sunderland last midweek, a debut goal in a 1-0 win meant Darren Bent was the natural headline-grabber for Gerard Houllier’s side in the home match with Man City, but closer inspection of the Villa game should perhaps offer up even more encouragement for Fantasy Owners of Ashley Young.

Slowly but surely, Houllier is shaping the team and redefining personnel rules according to his own preference, and playing in the hole behind a lone forward, Young looks as if he could reap the rewards. Villa’s 4-2-3-1 formation is not about possession play -they had just 31% of the ball against Roberto Mancini’s side- but the acquisition of Bent not only gives Villa the penalty box predator they were lacking, it allows them to utilise the pace of Gabriel Agbonlahor -wide left of the 3- and gives Stewart Downing a move to central midfield, where his creative guile can help on the counter attack, another feature the side were perhaps missing.

Average Positions

Bent may have only had 1 shot at goal on Saturday evening but his willingness to put in a shift for the team’s cause should not be overlooked; a look at this Average Position heat map from the Man City game shows just how much so. Bent (39) dropped deep continually and was, on average, level with Stilyan Petrov (19), who inhabited the defensive central midfield role.

The free role afforded to Young (7), however, allowed him plenty scope to roam and stay higher up the field and, as a result, he was far and away the furthest forward of any of the Villa players. There’s no surprise, then, that of the nine attempts on goal by Villa, Young had as many as four. Only three Joe Hart saves prevented him from finding the net, though Bent’s finish from one of those rebounded shots did mean he bagged an assist.

Passing Heatmaps

Being the furthest forward allowed Ashley Young to receive the ball more often, and as result, he made over twice the number of passes than Darren Bent. Young’s movement was without restriction and as the heat maps below show, he popped up on both wings as well as staying central for Villa. As a result, he made 55% of all his passes in City’s final third.

Bent, on the other hand, made just 21% of his passes in the opponent’s final third, with 35% of his passes being made in his own half, further indication of his solid, defensive work for the sake of the team.

With only one win on the road thus far, Villa will no doubt be looking at their home games to garner the points that would ensure their survival. They have seven league games left at Villa Park this term and all of them (FUL, BLA, WOL, NEW, STK, WIG, LIV) are definitely winnable. Providing he stays beyond the January transfer window and keeps his role within the current formation, Ashley Young looks as fundamental to their fight as the new boy does.

Paul Is certain he won't make the same mistakes next season. Follow them on Twitter

606 Comments Login to Post a Comment
  1. arfa
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    anyone out there following the Asia cup?
    Australia are evens to beat Uzbekistan and i might have a wee flutter

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    1. tosey
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      dont mention that, i was guna do 20ew on uzbekistan at 16/1 start of tournie but forgot

      really hope the aussies do them!

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      1. arfa
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        being an Englishman i would ike Uzbekistan to win 😉

        i haven''t followed the tournament at all.after a bit of research im thinking of Uzbekistan win with draw no bet

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        1. tosey
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          i know nothing but my mate looked into it

          he did 50 win at 16/1 so i shoudl hope they win for him

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          1. arfa
            • 15 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            good luck to him.good bet on Chelsea by the way

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            1. tosey
              • 16 Years
              15 years, 1 month ago

              cheers

              yeh he always says u can make a killing on international footy if u research enough and he tends to do well

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              1. arfa
                • 15 Years
                15 years, 1 month ago

                well if he knows what he's doing ge him on here with some tips 🙂

                sod it,i just backed the draw after 90mins at 2-1

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  2. Attila the Bum
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Two ministers doing missionary work in the South Seas are captured by a tribe and tied to stakes. The chief says to them, "You have a choice – death, or ugga bugga." The first guy says, "Well, I guess ugga bugga." The chief shouts "UGGA BUGGA!" and 30 members of the tribe attack and sodomize the first missionary. The chief then asks the second minister, "Now you have a choice, death or ugga bugga." He says "well, my religion does not allow me to choose ugga bugga, so I suppose it must be death." The chief says, "Very well," and shouts "DEATH BY UGGA BUGGA!

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    1. RoysBrotherJohnson- Irish p…
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      heard that years ago, still a goodie though 😉

      why haven't women been to the moon yet?

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      1. Attila the Bum
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Because Andy Gray does the count-down?

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        1. Johnny Unitas
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          very good!

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        2. RoysBrotherJohnson- Irish p…
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          It doesn't need cleaning yet.

          Speaking of Andy gray,

          i got the new FIFA yesterday for the playstation, it's not much different to the last one really, except when my girlfriend sat down for a game Andy Gray came on the screen and told her to 'cop on get back to the f cuking cleaning sharpish' 🙂

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          1. MAD
            • 15 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            your girlfriend plays fifa? LOL

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          2. MAD
            • 15 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            that wasn't the joke part was it?

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  3. BMox81
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Kakuta to join Fulham for the rest of the season might be one to look out for if he manages to get himself in the starting 11.

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  4. tosey
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    so south korea look like their guna be out today, ji sung park back for utd villa? if hes named in the lineup ill take a 1 week punt i think before i wildcard

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    1. Johnny Unitas
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      great punt, if I didn't have Rooney/Nani and Vidic I would do the same, he may be rested though if he is out today he won't be travelling till later in the week and back in training for 2-3 days, might not be risked imo

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      1. jms
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        There is a third place game on Friday. Winner of that game gets a bye into the "finals" in 2015, so not sure if Park will be released before then.

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    2. The Rock
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Hard to know if he will play though, the Villa game is on next tuesday so Utd may give him some time off?

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      1. Johnny Unitas
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        great minds!

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        1. The Rock
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          You were slighty faster though, must have only been a matter of seconds though!

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      2. tosey
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        we'll have the lineup before the deadline

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        1. The Rock
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          Ok, good point.

          Could be worth it!

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        2. Johnny Unitas
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          we sure will!

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  5. Johnny Unitas
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Wow, and Villa's fixtures are sweet enough, Villa defender in for me on WC I think, they rotate quite well between home and away too

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    1. Attila the Bum
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Choice of Young or Cahill for my wildcard team, finding trying to pick a Villa player is hard though.

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      1. Kings of Lyon ★
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        I was the same.... i'm sticking with cahill

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    2. The Rock
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Noticed that, Collins could be a good shout.

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      1. arfa
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        if Clark plays tonght i say he is a nailed on starter,and with my team value quite low im shopping in the bargain basement.
        Clarke for me

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    3. mikeywoodward
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      rotate with who home and away?

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      1. Johnny Unitas
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        sorry, with many others because they have (H) (A) (H) (A) etc, unlike many who are (A) (A) (H) (H) (A) (H) etc

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        1. mikeywoodward
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          ah sorry i get you now haha 🙂

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  6. Kings of Lyon ★
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    team for this week is -

    reina (foster)
    kolarov Knight ferdinand (simpson Konchesky)
    nani nasri fab adam (barton)
    ronney tevez DJ

    WC'n after this week..... obv im gonna wait but what transfer would you do?

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    1. Attila the Bum
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Knight out probably, will he start with Wheater coming in?

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      1. Kings of Lyon ★
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        started last night and didnt look too bad i thought cahill was wrse. I though wheater was only cover for knight and cahill

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        1. Attila the Bum
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          Fair enough, I've had Knight since the start for Gawd knows what reason. Looking forward to throwing him in the raggy doll bin when I play the wildcard.

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          1. Kings of Lyon ★
            • 15 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            yeah i brought him in when boltons fixtures were good hes done nothing. If only Gordon wasnt an amazing keeper eh...

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  7. Shhh... I Should Be Working
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    El-Hadji Diouf wakes up one day and he’s feeling great… had a great night’s sleep, feels on top of the world. But he notices there’s a funny smell in the air so he jumps in the shower. He get’s dressed, still feeling great, looks at himself in the mirror and thinks he’s looking pretty great as well… but there still seems to be that smell in the air. He figures it’s just something in the house so he heads out to training.

    Walking down to his car women are smiling at him, telling him he’s looking great… he’s feeling pretty pleased with himself. But on the drive to the training ground the smell that seemed to be around before is getting worse and worse and it doesn’t matter how great he’s feeling he’s starting to struggle with the smell.

    It’s the same when he gets to the ground… a few women he bumps into on the way tell him how great he’s looking but other people are starting to comment on the smell as well.

    After training he heads down to see the club doctor. He explains that he’s feeling great, he’s looking great but despite having a shower in the morning and after training he just can’t seem to get rid of the bad smell that’s all over him.

    The doctor gets out a few books and looks a few things up on the internet before turning to him, “feel good, look good, smell awful... basically El-Hadji, you’re a c*nt”.

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    1. maglia rosa
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      funny and true

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      1. kroky
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        haha! 🙂

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  8. sheffield fc
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    what do you guys think of this team? Just W/C'ed

    VDS (Al Habsi)

    Djourou Ivanovic Huth (Bardsley) (Simpsons)

    VDV Nasri Nani Malouda (Ferguson)

    Bent Van-Persie Berbatov

    Not sure about Bent and Malouda, was thinking Drogba and Etherington instead?
    Or Drogs, Bent and VP?

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    1. The Rock
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      You haven't got you other WC still by any chance? 😛

      Just joking, looks fine, maybe a Brum defender in though?

      Think i'd prefer bent and Malouda.

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      1. Davidmon
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        hehe you tease!

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  9. Davidmon
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    if Wheater doesn't play well everyone will say he hasn't had his WEETabix!

    hahahaha i'm so funny

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    1. The Face
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      LOL

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  10. PlayPercentage
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    When will we get the Blackpool team news for tonight's game?
    Surely Ian Holloway won't be able to keep his trap shut until kick off time?

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    1. TO
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      He does talk alot

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      1. PlayPercentage
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Yes. I used to like him. But after a good half season in the prem, he seems full of it nowadays.

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        1. Marknlard
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          He does my head in with his 'you don't have to be mad here' quotes.

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    2. Johnny Unitas
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      at around 7.15 pm

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  11. Podge
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Theres a guy walking past the mental hospital and he hears a little voice saying 13.....13.....13.....13.
    He spots a hole in the wall and bends down to look through when he gets a hard poke in the eye.
    Then he hears the little voice again, 14....14....14....14.

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    1. kroky
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      i nearly pissed myself! so funny

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    2. MAD
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      *when he gets a hard c*ck in his eye.

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  12. Soop
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    My version of my favorite joke. I reckon it's better than the version I copy Pasta'd:

    So there's this bus conductor somewhere in Texas, and one day he lets his attention wander, doesn't notice a young woman getting on the bus (it's one of the old fashioned kinds). Anyway he dings the bell for the driver to pull away, and she falls from the bus and is crushed.

    A investigation is held, and the conductor is found guilty of gross negligence and manslaughter. This being Texas, he finds himself on death row.

    the days pass, and finally, the day comes where he's to be executed. "Any last requests?" says the executioner
    "can I see what you've got in your lunchbox?" asks the conductor
    The executioner gives him a look, but complies.
    "let's see.. Carton of Ribena, sandwiches (not sure what kind they are yet), unripe green banana, mint kitkat..."
    "hold up, go back what was that?"
    "Ribena?"
    "No, you said something about a banana"
    "Not even ripe though"
    No, I'll have that"

    So he eats the banana and is strapped in. The switch is pulled, the smoke clears, and there's the conductor, sitting there fine and dandy. Now the law is, once the executioner has done his job (which he has) that's the end of it. So off he goes.

    Now he's been on death row for a few years now, and all he really knows is conducting busses, and he manages to get his old job back after a mix up with the staff records. And this time he's careful.

    Until five years later when an old lady is getting on the bus, and he gives the signal to pull away. Old lady dies, and once again it is established that he is the guilty party. Of he goes to jail who not having lost their records, fast track him through death row.

    "Oh, it's you." says the executioner. "Any last requests?"
    "Have you got a lunchbox?"
    "Unripe green banana?"
    "yes please"
    So he eats the banana, and they strap him in. Now the executioner is not used to repeat custom, which he's fairly proud of, so this time he ups the juice. Holds down the switch for a good 30 seconds. Lights in the neighboring houses are dimming. Serious juice.
    Anyway the smoke clears, and there's the conductor, fine.
    Now the executioner is not happy about this, but he has no choice but to let him go.

    Now in the meantime, the bus company that the conductor used to work for has changed hands, and he finds himself back in his old job. All is going well, until one fateful day he loses concentration and a young mother and her two children are the casualties.

    Straight to jail as a known felon, he turns up at the chair.
    "YOU AGAIN?!" cries the executioner "Right, get in the damn chair, I'll get you this time!"
    "Aren't we forgetting something?"
    "Hmm?"
    "last request, right?"
    "I suppose you want my unripe green banana?"
    "If you don't mind."
    this time, the lever goes down for 5 minutes, and if you could see the town from above, the whole grid is flickering as all the electricity goes into this chair. People are waiting ages for their kettle to boil, stuff like that.

    Then the smoke clears.
    "I know the drill, I'll be off then shall I?"
    "Oi, no you don't. I want to now what your up to, it's something to do with that unripe green banana isn't it?"
    "Nah, I'm just a really bad conductor."

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    1. Davidmon
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      what the hell man, you hog the message board worse than nani hogs the ball!

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      1. Davidmon
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        +1

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        1. Back on the horse
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          did you just +1 yourself?

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        2. Johnny Unitas
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          The pay off just wasn't worth it Soop!

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          1. Marknlard
            • 16 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            Yup, if it's a long joke then the punchline has got to be REALLY good. And why do things in jokes always have to happen 3 times before you get the punchline?

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            1. Johnny Unitas
              • 16 Years
              15 years, 1 month ago

              because 3 is the magic number, yes it is.

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        3. Attila the Bum
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          So nice you +1'd yourself. Good to know your multiple personalities are supportive of each other. 😉

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          1. Doosra - ☭DeclanMyGenius…
            • Fantasy Football Scout Member
            • 16 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            😀

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      2. Locarno
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Soop, I'll never get those three minutes back. 🙁

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        1. Soop
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          😀 That's the point!

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    2. Marknlard
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Got bored reading that.

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    3. TO
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Double jeopardy?

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    4. Kings of Lyon ★
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      I think somewhere inbetween and your onto a winner

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    5. Back on the horse
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      That's your favourite joke? It's poor, Soop. Sorry

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      1. Soop
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        It's the way I tell it, and the look on their faces when I've wasted all that time!

        I explained on the other page it's not a joke for the listener.

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        1. Marknlard
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          What about the bruises on your face when you finish?

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    6. The Face
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      tl;dr

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    7. Doosra - ☭DeclanMyGenius…
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      This is better! 😀

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      1. Soop
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Ta Michael 😉

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    8. ralphypne
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      essentially the same joke!

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  13. mikeywoodward
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    guys do i have the right subs for the week

    robinson
    hutton, vidic, djourou
    vdv, walcott, adam, nani
    tevez, torres(C), berba

    bench alhabsi nzogbia, coleman, murphy

    if adam leaves will put nzobia straight in.

    any opinions.

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  14. Sess!
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Captained Nani this week, but was literally a coin toss between him and rooney. Rivals captained rooney. a) hoping nani isn't rested tonight, b) hoping tonight isn't the night rooney has the inevitable goal glut.

    I'm obviously hoping for nani to romp it but I'll be more than happy if rooney only just scores more as thought I'd made a mistake soon as 11.30am passed on sat so preparing myself to be screwing come 9.30pm

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    1. mikeywoodward
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      nani will play and will be his usaual selfish self shooting at all opportunitys. if rooney gets points so will nani

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    2. Nomar
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      I get the feeling Rooney will do well tonight actually. I have Berbs.

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  15. maglia rosa
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    back to footi whos this jean makoun sky are reporting is in the villa squad for tonight cant see him on the transfers page for villa!!
    will he have any bearing on walker playing?

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    1. matiakez
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Nope he is a box to vox midfielder, has looked decent whenever i watched him fro Lyon.

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      1. maglia rosa
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        thanx shame really i have a 6pt defender to come in if walker dont play so expecting villa to conceed n cost me points

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        1. mikeywoodward
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          he will more than likley play next to petrov with downing pushing forward and albrighton on the bench imo

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          1. maglia rosa
            • 15 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            hoping villa keep a cleanie then....on for my 100 plus points this g/w if all goes well

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            1. mikeywoodward
              • 15 Years
              15 years, 1 month ago

              to be honest id be suprised if walker plays. cellular had a good game agains man city.
              clean sheet why change the back four. thats just my opinion tho

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    2. Attila the Bum
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Doubt it, he looks a decent player could be a good asset for Villa. Probably means Petrov is fooked though

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  16. Nomar
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    An Englishman a Welshman and an African were in the Maternity Ward when the nurse announced that their wives had each had a son.

    Unfortunately the babies had been mixed up so she asked them to go in and see if they could pick out theirs.

    The Englishman went first and came out holding a beautiful black boy.

    "Are you sure that one is yours" asked the nurse.

    "Well" he replied "One of the other two is definitley Welsh and I'm not taking any bloody chances."

    (Sorry, Katie)

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    1. maglia rosa
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      😆

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    2. Davidmon
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      stop trying to get into katie's pants!

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      1. Nomar
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        I never started trying.

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      2. TO
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        If you like your pants with some b*lls in it..Katie is a dude

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        1. Davidmon
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          i'm sure nomar likes.

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  17. Christopher Kiwomya
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Anyone know whats up with Darren Fletcher?

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    1. Davidmon
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      he's scottish

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      1. Kings of Lyon ★
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        HAW! No need

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        1. maglia rosa
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          more 😆

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      2. Christopher Kiwomya
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Meant more cos he ddnt play against Birmingham and isnt in Skys predicted line-ups for tonight. Injured?

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        1. Kings of Lyon ★
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          Not sure mate, hes not good as a fantasy prospect. Not sure about injury maybe just rested.... skys line-up is far from the mark

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  18. The Rock
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a note. "Here’s that £20 I owe you," he says.

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    1. Kings of Lyon ★
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      haha, 🙂

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    2. Attila the Bum
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      😆 I like that one.

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    3. Johnny Unitas
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Am I missing something?

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      1. The Rock
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        There has been alot of jokes told on this site today.From now on the 25th of Jan will be jokes day around here!

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    4. NotoriousDRE
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      *holds back a chuckle*

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    5. Soop
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      I like that one 😀

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  19. Locarno
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Just downloaded the new FIFA 11 commentary update.

    Not much different, although when my girlfriend went on it, Andy Gray shouted at her to "put that f*cking controller down and get back to the kitchen."

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  20. Churchill
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Best worst joke I've heard for a long time -

    Bacon Tree

    Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........
    "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk." "Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

    With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

    There's streaky bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.

    "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree." "Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

    "Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

    And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

    "Pepe... go back, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!" "Luis, Luis mi amigo... what it ees ? " "Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees

    Ees

    Ees

    Ees

    Ees a ham bush...."

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    1. Attila the Bum
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      😆 😆 Excellent.

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      1. Attila the Bum
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Actually I think this is my favourite of the day.

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    2. Kings of Lyon ★
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      thats so bad i laughed

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    3. NotoriousDRE
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      my word! lmao

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    4. Soop
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Good one. I like the way you tell it 🙂

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    5. Egg noodle
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      wtf?

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    6. Doosra - ☭DeclanMyGenius…
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Excellent!!! 😆

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    7. Churchill
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      It's so crap it's funny.

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      1. kroky
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        just read it there,lmao!:-)

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  21. Perthite
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Did you hear they are having troubles down on the dildo farm in Tasmania?
    They have squatters.

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  22. Rasping Drive
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Evening all, any news on whether Aaron Hughes will start tonight?

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    1. The Face
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Plays tomorrow!

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      1. Rasping Drive
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        Oops, you're right (hangs head in shame). I guess I'll have to wait 24 hours then.

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  23. Locarno
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    I think Andy Gray and Richard Keys should be sacked after their ignorant, sexist comments on TV. Sky Sports should set an example and give their jobs to female presenters.

    Preferably ones with really big tits.

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    1. Kings of Lyon ★
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      lol

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      1. The Rock
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        haha very good!

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    2. maglia rosa
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      😆 😆 😆

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    3. TO
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      🙂

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  24. Soop
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    An Austrailian, a Kiwi and a South African are in Qatar for a rugby game and decide to go out on the lash. This being Qatar, this is a really bad idea that gets them into trouble. They're all sentenced to death.

    On the day of their execution, the king appears.
    "Because today is my wife's birthday, I am sparing you. I reduce your sentence to 20 lashes on the condition you leave my country and never return."

    He steps up to the Australian. "Because I am in a good mood, I grant you request."
    The Australian thinks. "I'd like a pillow strapped to my back" he beams. And he's feeling pretty good about that too, but the pillow only lasts 5 lashes before being torn apart. He hobbles away whimpering like a child, with his back in tatters.

    Next, the king approaches the South African. "You, I also grant one request."
    "Umm, I'll have two pillows strapped to my back" Says the South African feebly. The two pillows only last for 10 lashes, and he too limps away in indescribable pain.

    Lastly the king nears the Kiwi. "You too, I shall grant a request."
    without missing a beat, the Kiwi looks into the kings eyes and says "Noble King, you are too kind. I wish for 50 lashes."
    The kings eyes grow wide, and then he beams, with tears running down his cheeks.
    "Truly, I have never met a brave and noble soul as yourself. I embrace you as a brother!" (the crowd cheer). "You have raised my very soul. I will honour you with another request, whatever you want."

    The Kiwi eyes his two weary companions. "Strap them two to my back".

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    1. Perthite
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Was expecting a sheep punchline.

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  25. SOM.... This is Fellaini�…
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    After the relative success of the female lines'man', the FA are to employ more women & give them higher profile games.

    I for one am looking forward to the 2 girls, one cup final.

    😀

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  26. matiakez
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Wondering about a 100 point week but think i'll miss it, i've got 69 at the moment with these to play:

    Kingson, Pantsil, Nani, Adam, Torres, Bent (C)

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    1. Attila the Bum
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Why would you captain Bent when you have Nani or Torres in your side? A little mentalist.

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      1. matiakez
        • 15 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        I'm not sure why i captained Bent..went a littel mental as you say

        just wait til he nets a brace later 😉

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        1. The Rock
          • 16 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          Could happen yet!

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    2. The Rock
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Kingson probally won't play anyway, but with a bit of luck you never know.

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  27. People in Preston
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Japan 2-2 S.Korea

    Japan win 3-0 on pens.

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    1. hamz
      • 16 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      All that last minute drama for nothing.

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  28. mikeywoodward
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    tosey what you thinking about city tonight? i fancy city getting a sneaky draw again

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    1. mikeywoodward
      • 15 Years
      15 years, 1 month ago

      Bristol city that is

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      1. tosey
        • 16 Years
        15 years, 1 month ago

        i think we may nick something aswell was tempted chuck a tenner on us at 6/1 but be happy enough if we win anyway

        our record at the city ground is shocking tho

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        1. mikeywoodward
          • 15 Years
          15 years, 1 month ago

          yeh our record isnt great but do think citys team is much better than what were doing at the moment.

          would like to see skuse getting a run out centre midfield.

          danny haynes gone is a plus dont htink he was going to do much and think we got good money for him.

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          1. tosey
            • 16 Years
            15 years, 1 month ago

            yeh just need to shift abotu 4 more players and get 2 quality ones in, johnson and coppell spent too much on squad players

            buy less but more quality and chuck a few youngsters in

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            1. mikeywoodward
              • 15 Years
              15 years, 1 month ago

              yeh true coppell messed us right up.

              his signings have been awful to be honest.

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  29. MAD
    • 15 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Englishman, Welshman and Irishman are captured by a giant. Now the giant promises to spare their life if they come up with a task that the giant can't complete.

    The Englishman goes first and says to the giant "Run around the globe three times". The giant runs around the world three times and eats the Englishman.

    The Irishman says "Fly to the moon and back". The giant takes a big jump lands on the moon, jumps back and eats the Irishman.

    The Welshman farts and says "Catch that one and paint it blue".

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  30. SOM.... This is Fellaini�…
    • 16 Years
    15 years, 1 month ago

    Can't see the problem with the female linesman.

    One more c**t in the Premier league shouldn't make a difference.

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