Things don’t get any easier for me. A few weeks ago I was looking towards Gameweek 8 with a degree of comfort, content that this would be a weekend that would have me back in the game. Now, it’s arrived, I’m not so confident.

While I’ve spent hours desperately searching to find a free transfer to help matters, I still don’t see one. The back three and front three pick themselves, leaving the midfield as my likely target for inspiration. Sadly, I find myself with a lack of confidence, fearing that, should I make a switch, the chopped or dropped will deliver points and leave me curled up in a ball of frustration.

Not only is my team not performing, it seems to be holding secret coffee morning meetings and conspiring to present me with problems that force me into a corner. I think they hold them on Wednesday afternoons when I’m walking the dog. I’ve come home and found cups and saucers, and a stray french fancy down the side of the sofa – I reckon that’s Hatem Ben Arfa’s doing.

I’ve said in the past that I’ve always regretted the errors made through “inaction” more than those that result from positive moves – from gutsy transfers. Even so, I’ve starred at my lineup and, while I know full well that the likes of Ben Arfa, Christian Eriksen and Victor Moses are on shaky ground, I also know that all three have it in them to hurt me once I turn my back. Added to that, the obvious replacements will likely gain me little ground – on paper, this isn’t the Gameweek to gamble on a differential.

I can at least take solace in the fact that I’m no longer saddled with Robin van Persie and his kitbag of troubles. Having failed to ignite, he now seems blighted by regular minor injuries, sneaked out by David Moyes on a Friday to send the Dutchman’s owners into mild panic. Once again Van Persie is a doubt, although this morning’s press all feel he’ll take to the field against Southampton. Each of our six papers has Van Persie up top for United, while the Mail, the Telegraph and the Sun decide that Rio Ferdinand won’t make it at the back – Phil Jones deputises in two of those lineups, Jonny Evans in the other.

Elsewhere, rumours of a rest for Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey are not supported by the press. The inspired Welshman starts in all six of the predicted lineups to quell those fears. Despite the knock whilst on international duty, only the Sun are brave enough to bench the German with Tomas Rosicky earning a start in their lineup for the Emirates meet with Norwich.

There’s also reassurance for those fearing Jose Mourinho’s rest and rotation ahead of their midweek Champions League tie in with Schalke. The press seem settled on their Chelsea lineup for the meeting with Cardiff – Oscar and Mata are present in all six teamsheets this morning. Having recovered from injury, Torres starts in four of those six at the expense of Demba Ba.

Finally, the aforementioned Ben Arfa is recalled by the Daily Mail, the Telegraph and the Guardian at the expense of Yoan Gouffran. Alan Pardew filled his press conference with praise for the Frenchman, dropping anvil like hints that he could start against Liverpool later today and, it seems, some of the papers are convinced.

Typically, that clouds my judgment further. With an hour to go, I’m definitely holding Ben Arfa, but do I gamble on a giving him a shirt? I know all too well that he will relish the stage presented to him by the Liverpool clash, that Pardew will be under pressure from the Tyneside faithful to start him, that Ben Arfa has got the weapons to wreck my Saturday should I bench him.

While I ponder the situation further, it leads me to realise that I suddenly feel empathy for Alan Pardew. It’s a new low.