The year is young, but the quotes are ripe and ready for your consumption in the first Say What? of 2017.
We’ve got two ways of reporting Zlatan’s, erm, words, a changed Costa and a central line on Lallana.
For all that, and some added Baines and Ozil, please read on.
Zlatan Not Mincing His Balls
The year 2016 was a controversial one, with fake news and ‘post-truth’ agendas very much to the fore.
Even football, usually a scandal-free beacon of purity, is susceptible to the odd manipulation these days – as can be seen from this Zlatan Ibrahimovic (11.6) comment on defying his critics, as quoted by Man United’s official website.
“I came to the Premier League and people thought it would not be possible but, like always, I make them eat their words!”
Nothing particularly strange there, until we see the same quote in The Independent:
“I came to the Premier League and everyone thought it would not be possible but, like always, I make them eat their balls.”
That’s quite the difference, and quite the mouthful. But he then goes further, in a quote not used by the official site at all:
“It gives me a lot of energy, trust me, because they get paid to talk s*** and I get paid to play with my feet. That’s how I enjoy it.”
Let’s not get too bogged down in questions of the sanctity of the spoken ball, and instead just take Zlatan’s balls for what they truly are – the sign of a man very much at ease with his impact on the Premier League to date.
Thirteen goals and five assists emphatically proves the point that actions speak louder than balls, prompting 43.4% of us to now view Zlatan as a key member of our Fantasy Premier League teams.
Only Diego Costa (10.7) is more popular at the moment, by a mere 0.8%, having scored one goal more while laying on the same number of assists.
Ibrahimovic has upped his game in the latter department recently, setting up four goals for team-mates over the past five Gameweeks.
And he’s not finishing there.
“I haven’t had many assists so far and that is part of my game that I’ve been missing here in my six months at United. At my other clubs I’ve been scoring goals but I’ve also done a lot of assists. I’m happy to give an assist because for me it is just like you have scored yourself. I want to be good at everything, not in one thing, so the assists will come. Some have come already but even more will come.”
Once the FA Cup is out of the way, United have a massive Gameweek 21 match with Liverpool and an equally chunky clash, with Manchester City, in Gameweek 26.
In between, they’ll face Stoke and Leicester away and welcome Hull and Watford to Old Trafford.
Based on his form and those fixtures, it’s going to take words of steel for even more FPL managers to resist buying Zlatan, you mark my balls.
Change To Costa Fortune
Ibrahimovic and Costa are now tied at the top for points scored by strikers, with 123 apiece.
For Diego, that’s a particularly impressive return, seeing as he managed 129 in total last year and 150 during his debut season in England.
We all know that not being (mis)managed by Mourinho anymore is a major reason for that improvement, as is no longer being an unholy mix of Lord Voldemort and Joey Barton. Or Voldebart, if you will.
It seems that self-knowledge has helped Costa slim the sin away on his new card-free diet.
“I know when I do bad, so I thought about it and knew I had to improve that aspect because, here in the Premier League, the reality is there’s no mercy, a lot of the time it seemed like they (the referees) were against me.”
Typical referees, eh? Always picking on a player with more needle than an elephant syringe.
But that hint of self-pity is quickly replaced by a more mature analysis, which is very much in keeping with his new persona this season.
“There was no other way, because if they’re not going to change, I had to change.”
And what a change – for everyone at Stamford Bridge.
“The team has changed, not just me. Last season, we felt a frustration. We weren’t the team we should be. I wasn’t the player I should be. I don’t set myself personal targets, in terms of goals and assists. What I try to do is improve, always. If the previous campaign hasn’t been very good, or even if it has, I just try to do a better campaign than the one before.”
One more goal from another 90 minutes will have Diego up to last season’s FPL total – if he doesn’t get booked, that is – so it’s truly only a matter of time before he manages that ‘better campaign’.
But after this week’s chastening loss at Spurs, there are some other stern tests to come in the short term, including a trip to a Leicester side finally remembering how to be defending champions and matches with Liverpool and Arsenal in Gameweeks 23 and 24.
That might slow interest in a man who gained a quarter of a million managers after returning from a Boxing Day suspension, although a Gameweek 22 visit by Hull should sweeten the deal.
And from Gameweek 25, the case for Costa looks absolutely watertight – the Blues go to Burnley, West Ham and Stoke while entertaining Swansea, Watford and Palace.
So while many of us agonise over trying to get Sergio Aguero (12.8) back into our attacks, Diego could well prove the saying ‘better the devil you know’.
And these days, he’s a strangely angelic devil at that.
Lallana Central To Liverpool Success
Another player threatening to break his FPL personal best is Liverpool’s Adam Lallana (7.7).
As a Southampton regular in 2013/14, the England man amassed 178 points from nine goals and as many assists. Just over halfway through this campaign, he’s already on 105 points courtesy of seven strikes and another seven assists.
Since the Reds lost Philippe Coutinho (8.2) to a Gameweek 13 injury, Lallana has really stepped up the scoring in particular, with four goals from a more central role.
Jurgen Klopp is certainly in no doubt about the wisdom of that move.
“He is very good in small spaces. He is a very quick player but his biggest strength is not being quick, it’s decision-making in small spaces. He can open the game for you in one-on-one situations; when everybody would have pressure, he doesn’t have it because his movements are that quick. He has all the technical abilities for playing there.”
Interest in Lallana remains high, although it is slowing. Nearly 220,000 managers drafted him in for Gameweek 20 and another 78,000+ have done so since.
But that’s way down on the 202,000 currently buying into Dele Alli (8.4) and there’s the small matter of the likely return of Coutinho in the very near future to consider as well.
Throw in a ridiculously contrary set of fixtures – Hull and Swansea together with United, Chelsea and Spurs over the next five Gameweeks – and investment in Lallana suddenly looks like risky business.
The man himself has a philosophical take on it all.
“Sometimes in football, you only need to make little changes to have bigger outcomes.”
Tell us more, guru.
“That’s a big factor in why we’re doing well. We’re in it together. A few people have been injured this season – Philippe, Studge, myself – and when we’ve been out, we’ve managed to cope. Obviously we’d rather them not be injured or get suspended but things like this happen. So we need to have a good squad. We’ve shown that this season.”
Good squads, however, do not an FPL season make. They involve deeply annoying things like ‘rotation’ and ‘sharing the points around’ – irksome factors that Lallana proceeds to laud.
“I read that there have been 13 different goalscorers in our team. That shows we’re not relying on just one or two, it’s the team factor. That’s a big reason why we’re doing so well.”
And, maybe, a big reason to finally go easy on the Lallana love.
Koeman’s Penalty Plan Full Of Baines
Leighton Baines (5.4) – what’s not to love?
With a name like a motorway service station and a look straight out of swinging old Carnaby Street, he’s been a firm Fantasy favourite over the years, recording seven three-figure scores in nine top-flight seasons.
Injury has hurt his tenth campaign, but since returning from a six-match lay-off, the left-back has been pulling in the points again, with a pleasingly symmetrical two goals, two assists and two clean sheets from his last seven starts.
And Ronald Koeman has now confirmed that he is the club’s primary penalty taker again.
“He’s an experienced boy who has scored penalties all his life. Of course he can miss one, that’s part of football. Everybody likes to help Romelu (Lukaku) be the top scorer in the Premier League but when it’s still 1-0, Leighton is the first on the list. Okay if it’s 2-0 and we have one in the last minute then Lukaku can take it.”
Baines has now revealed the painstaking hours of science-based practice that go into buggering up Lukaku’s goal bonus.
“How often do I work on them? Not that often. Sometimes I’ll just practise at the end of training in an empty goal because the keepers are working elsewhere.”
Oh. Okay. Moving on.
Since hitting a peak ownership of just under half a million before his injury, Baines has not got back over the 300,000-manager mark despite his fine recent form.
But Koeman’s tactical flexibility offers another strong reason to orient yourself to Leighton – his occasional use as a wing-back, as the manager explained.
“It’s not a new system for the players. We started the season against Tottenham with three at the back. It is my preference when we play against teams like Leicester with two strikers. It gives a little bit more composure to the team and you have better ball possession from the back.”
Of the teams coming up for Everton, only Sunderland (in Gameweek 26) make a habit of going two up top.
But Baines still offers plenty of promise as a humble left-back, as do Everton’s fixtures.
Following the Gameweek 21 visit of Man City, the Toffees travel to Palace, Stoke and Middlesbrough and host Bournemouth before that home match with the Black Cats.
Baines is averaging more than nine points a match over the last three Gameweeks and has scored 48 from his last seven.
Form is temporary, class permanent. Leighton’s got a lot of both.
More In Hype Than Expectation?
Remember the good old days before Olivier Giroud (8.6) turned up and confused the hell out of our Arsenal plans?
Life was so much simpler when you had Alexis Sanchez (11.9) in as a matter of course and then Theo Walcott (7.5) or Mesut Ozil (9.5) as a matter of taste/price.
Those days are gone, my friend, we thought they’d never end, until Giroud put in a scorpion kick to our managerial nethers.
Now we’ve got Alexis back in midfield, Olivier dishing up double-digit returns and Mesut and Theo ill and injured respectively.
The German is edging towards a comeback after returning to training, and Arsene Wenger is expecting great things.
“I believe this season he has scored more goals and personally I believe as well he creates more chances for himself than ever before because he runs more behind. In training, he finishes much better than in the games and I am convinced that his percentage of finishing will go up in the coming months and he can have a huge contribution to the team, not only through his passing but as well through his finishing.”
Ozil needs just two more goals to beat his best return of six from last season – a year when he also managed just the 19 assists, remember.
Wenger’s words don’t suggest he’ll be hanging around before letting the midfielder break that record. Granted, the German is unlikely to be ready to return in time to face Preston in the cup this weekend but, beyond that, a fully-fit Ozil will be back on the radar. He’s dropped 0.1 in price since falling ill and is at his lowest ownership level (7.6%) since Gameweek 9.
Throw in home matches with Burnley, Watford and Hull (and a trip to Swansea) over the next five Gameweeks and Mesut might just be revived as a Fantasy asset.
If you believe the Wenger hype, that is.
