There’s a north/south divide feel about this week’s round-up of noteworthy quotes.

Whether that’s a geographically fiendish piece of work, or a theme randomly shoe-horned in for the sake of it, is for you to decide.

What is certain is that we have all the right comments from Mourinho, Klopp, Guardiola, Pulis and Pochettino, just not necessarily in the right order.

United Are All That

Jose Mourinho’s United are on quite the roll.

Six straight wins, three clean sheets and a squad with more depth than a philosophical submarine – there’s lots to love if you’re a Red Devils fan.

But strong squads are less easy on the Fantasy eye, because depth means rotation means points dropped.

And Jose has started using the r-word in the light of Eric Bailly’s (5.3) Africa Cup of Nations duty.

When asked whether he would be buying in January to cover for the centre-half’s absence, he was refreshingly direct.

“No, I wait for Bailly.”

And he was equally open as to why.

“I hope the three (other centre-halves) can control the situation. I will try to rest one in every game. We’ll try to make a rotation between these three. We still have Daley Blind as the fourth, in case we need him to play there. We have Michael Carrick. So let’s try.”

The 3.8% who have bought into Phil Jones (4.9) would really rather he didn’t try, actually.

Fantasy football is many things – most of them involving an all-encompassing obsession threatening one’s sanity, marriage and livelihood.

But there are negative aspects to it as well, like wishing the knock to Marcos Rojo (5.2) will keep him sidelined for a little while longer so Jones can reap the rewards of playing against Stoke, Hull, Leicester and Watford by the end of Gameweek 25.

Because trying to guess Mourinho’s rotation policy should Rojo return is the stuff of Fantasy nightmares.

Not that the Special One cares. He’s too busy being happy with his Old Trafford lot.

“I have to say that I didn’t have many teams – and I had lots of winning teams – playing so well as my United team does. I think the way we play is very adapted to the qualities of our players; there are no contradictions between the style of football and quality of our players.”

And at the heart of it all is Say What’s favourite quote machine – Zlatan Ibrahimovic (11.6).

To be fair to the Special One’s Special One, he can say what the hell he wants when he’s hit five goals and four assists in his last five starts.

And this week’s Postcard From Planet Zlatan is all about His heavenly body.

“I feel good. I feel in shape. The boss has made a good programme for me since the start. He has been adapting my physical point of view and the way I can play every game. He has to get the credit for that. So that’s why I can hold out for so long. And, when you have a body like me, it’s not a normal body. It’s like when you see an animal. It goes in and is fresh always, so I see myself as an animal.”

Zlatan was ill this week. Whether it was a spot of mange, foot-and-mouth or feline immunodeficiency virus rather depends on what kind of animal he considers himself to be.

But if he scores against Liverpool on Sunday, 43% of Fantasy managers won’t care whether he think he’s Champion the Wonder Horse or a plate of Tesco lasagne.

My money was on a lion, until Zlatan managed to out-Zlatan even himself with this:

“If the collective does well, then the individuals will do well. I try to help the team and try to do what I’m best at – scoring goals, playing good and creating chances for my team-mates. As long as I can do that, I know I will help my team. The same thing with them, they help me the way they can for the team. I have no individual targets because that I did already, after three months in England. After I conquered England – it took three months.”

There really isn’t an animal big enough when it comes to Zlatan The Conqueror.

A Tale Of One City

Across town, City’s beast has resembled a headless chicken at times this season.

Pep’s boys have been all over the place and back again, going unbeaten in the league for 13 matches…Claudio Bravo (5.2)…humbling Barcelona…losing to Leicester…Claudio Bravo…

But fair play to Pep, he knows where the blame lies.

“Sometimes I have an idea: three at the back or play a player in a certain way, and sometimes it didn’t work. And, when that happens, I never complain to the players. Because I see them training, how they suffer.”

And how we suffer when Pep, say, picks the 16.1%-owned John Stones (4.7) as a matter of principle for week after week and then starts him just three times since the middle of November.

Or when Sergio Aguero (12.8) doesn’t start as a matter of course.

“At times my ideas were not good, because I’m still getting to know the players, to know what is the best position, the best way to play, to adapt to them.”

We all know where Aguero’s best position is. All of us. And it’s not on the bench.

“I have to help them and I tell them that. And most of the times we were not good, it was my responsibility.”

More than 150,000 managers have splurged 12.8 on Aguero over the past four Gameweeks, Pep. Your responsibility is simple: just play him.

Dan The Man, But Is He The Mane?

If only it were that simple for Jurgen Klopp.

While Guardiola has the luxury of benching a truly world class striker, the Liverpool boss has just enough injuries and international absentees to force him to start Daniel Sturridge (9.7).

“Sadio is away, Philippe is on the way back and Daniel is already back. That helps, for sure, and I hope it stays like this for him. His talent and skill there is absolutely no doubt about. Cleverness…everything you need on the pitch is absolutely outstanding.”

Fair play to Sturridge. He’s scored in consecutive league matches, and like the (Ger)man said: Sadio Mane (9.2) is away and Philippe Coutinho (8.2) only just back.

So Klopp seems to be talking up the England man’s chances of regular starts.

“We had the time when he was already fit and he didn’t start because there was a difference between being fit and match fit and all that stuff. But it is a big step in the right direction. If he stays on this fitness level and improving as he always should, that is perfect – perfect news for him and for us that he can perform. It would be cool if we could speak like this for the next few weeks and months.”

This is great news for the Sturridge household, but carnage for the rest of us.

Coutinho’s owned by 14.8% despite not starting since a Gameweek 13 injury and Roberto Firmino (8.5) is still backed by 11.5% even though he might as well have been lying next to his compatriot on the treatment table for all the returns he’s managed in recent weeks.

Both of them have, at times, excelled in advanced midfield roles that will go right out of the window if Klopp continues to play an actual, real-life, living and breathing striker.

And that seems to be exactly what he’s going to do, even when Sturridge epitomised Liverpool’s awful EFL Cup performance at Southampton this week.

“He fits really well in our style of play. That is good for him, good for us”.

Nope. What’s good for us is Sturridge continuing to fluff his lines against United on Sunday, and maybe against Chelsea at the end of the month, so we can all relax and rely on Liverpool’s midfield again.

Although the Reds’ schedule also includes Spurs, Arsenal and Man City by the middle of March, so maybe we should just be looking elsewhere for our points.

Pulis With Some Matt Gloss

One lovely (and cheap) place we’ve been finding those midfield points has been at a location marked Matt Phillips (5.8).

Four goals and seven assists since Gameweek 11 have propelled him into both the top ten midfielders and 17.9% of Fantasy squads.

The man himself has a curious explanation for his attacking improvement.

“Defending is a side of the game that you need to have, especially in the Premier League. You’re playing against top players week in, week out. It’s definitely adding something to my game.”

We all love a bit of Tony Pulis: the baseball cap; the strong sense that he even sleeps in his tracksuit; the fact that he wouldn’t look out of place taking your money as you prepare to ride the Waltzers at the fair.

But he seems to have taken an almost Svengali-like hold over Phillips’ brain.

“We do a lot of work on the training ground. The manager’s great at that and really puts in the hours.”

Whatever. It works.

And to be fair to Pulis, he comes across all paternal when speaking about his midfielder’s progress.

“He’s done fantastic Matt, and we’re really pleased with him. He’s a very talented boy. I think it’s just that he feels he might have found a home where everything is good for him. He loves the football club, the players in the dressing room, and that almost evaporates all the anxiety that Matty has maybe had in the past.”

Once a trip to Spurs this weekend is done and dusted, the Baggies have a choice cut of fixtures to come: Sunderland, Stoke, Bournemouth and Palace at home and Middlesbrough and West Ham away.

He might not be a differential anymore, but with that run and his fine form, Phillips is starting to look like an essential purchase.

And So To Bed…

We finish down south, in the capital, at a Spurs side still buzzing from their victory over Chelsea.

Deli Alli (8.5) rightly grabbed the headlines that night as his brace took him to a blistering seven goals in the last four Gameweeks.

Mauricio Pochettino has understandably been talking up his man, but hasn’t forgotten the role of Christian Eriksen (8.6) either.

The Dane, after all, has five goals and six assists in eight Gameweeks.

“He’s a very talented player and we’re very happy with him. But he’s another player that can improve. In the last few months, he’s improved a lot. We need to push him to try to get another level.”

Eriksen himself feels like a new man.

“The style we play at Spurs, you need everyone to press. If you played as a No10 before, they could chill and do whatever. I don’t think that is possible anymore. The body mass is going a little bit up, and the body fat has gone down a little bit. So I’m in very good shape. I’ve always been a runner. But the power, the aggression that he (Pochettino) really likes: that’s probably changed a bit.”

But while Pochettino has got physical with Eriksen, he’s gone mental with the squad as a whole.

“Physical demand is massive, but mental too. You can see plenty of pictures from different leagues in Europe…(players) in swimming pools, at the beach, players with families, relaxing. Our players were at training, playing and going to bed early. That is tough because they are young and they need to enjoy life. It’s different from us to be older – we enjoy when we are in bed – but they need to enjoy life.”

I’m pretty sure you can enjoy life and be in bed at the same time, but we’ll let that slide. Pochettino’s words, after all, shouldn’t be taken literally.

“They’re young with a lot of energy. They believe that life stops in a few years, we know very well that at 44 your life starts after your career. Sometimes it’s not only physical rest but mental that they need to relax because, if not, one day maybe they will explode.”

Exploding footballers? Even Sky Sports would draw the line at that, wouldn’t they?

Then again, Alli and Eriksen are Fantasy dynamite at the moment, and Spurs have arguably the best set of fixtures of all the title contenders from here on in.

They have to travel to Man City and Liverpool over the next five matches, but after that, it’s smooth sailing all the way to Gameweek 35, when they entertain Arsenal, with United at White Hart Lane a fortnight later.

Alli and Eriksen are two of the eight most popular Fantasy Premier League midfielders at the moment, and it looks like staying that way for a long time to come.

Unless Spurs implode, just like last year.