Say What?

Theo’s tasty tempter, the new-look Emre Can and the Chelsea bun-fight in midfield head up our selection of quotes this week.

A Jermain, a Phil and a Gylfi are in there too, so tuck in at your leisure.

Walcott Full Of Beans

Theo Walcott (7.9) is in a good place at the moment – new baby arrived, first goal since Gameweek 8 in the bag, only the one-Gameweek injury absence so far this season…his cup runneth over.

And despite still looking like he’s straight outta pre-school, it’s not a Tommee Tippee cup either.

In fact, and rather alarmingly, this is his 11th season of top-flight action, which goes some way to explaining the more adult motivation he’s been given this year.

No, not that kind of adult motivation, although he is a good looking chap and, you know, he’s intelligent, sensitive and…anyway, here’s what’s driving him on to greater things.

“I want to get 10 (goals) so I can get a coffee machine for Christmas from my wife.”

Yep, here’s a man on many, many thousands a week and all he wants for Christmas is an item that he could probably buy from ten minutes of sitting next to Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain on the bench.

“She said ‘if you get 10 goals before Christmas I’ll buy you this coffee machine’. So I can’t wait for that and hopefully it will happen. Coming from the wing as well, I’m obviously delighted with my goals so far.”

You can insert your own gags about grinding out a performance with his espresso pace and excellent latte-ral movement here, while we move on to Theo’s take on the burning Arsenal issue at the moment – who gets to play through the middle up front.

“I sat down with the manager at the start of the season and said where I want to play so now I don’t have to think about anything else.”

Apart from whether he’s getting a Nescafe Dolce Gusto Piccolo (RRP £79.99) or, more likely, the £7,559-a-pop Gaggia 3 Group Auto, that is.

“And with that experience in the central position, if I find myself there hopefully I can tuck away the goals, which I have.”

‘If’ is the key word in that last quote, because somebody is already playing there.

“Alexis (Sanchez) has stepped up to making that position his and I think he is enjoying it. I can see the smile when he’s playing — he even did an interview which he never does — and in English!”

And there’s another somebody else waiting in the wings.

“Olivier (Giroud’s) strengths are fantastic. I know he will be frustrated with the amount of games he has not played but if you look at his scoring record and how effective he has been when he has been on the pitch…it just shows he keeps on reminding the manager what he can do.”

The trio have eight goals and an assist between them over the last four Gameweeks, so Arsene Wenger is unlikely to change much just yet – particularly as Giroud (8.9) is struggling to make Saturday’s trip to West Ham with a groin injury.

More pertinently for the 14.4% of Fantasy Premier League managers on Theo – and that includes the 110,000+ new ones this Gameweek, making him the most popular signing – he’s got four more matches to hit his ten-goal target.

He’s scored six in the league, but with Stoke at home and Everton and Man City away to come after the Hammers, it’s still a tough call.

Let’s just hope that by going public, and with sincere apologies for what you’re about to read next, he’s not put the Mocchas on it.

Emre’s Can-Do Attitude

While many have been piling in on Walcott, even more have been deserting Philippe Coutinho (8.5) in droves.

The Liverpool midfielder has lost close to half a million managers since it was confirmed that he’ll be out until the New Year with an ankle injury.

But as one door closes, so another opens…for Emre Can – at 4.8 a bargain bucket replacement for the Fantasy zinger that was Coutinho.

The main money has been on Mane (9.2) this week, with 89,000+ new owners putting Sadio second only to Theo in the popularity stakes as we seek a new Liverpool middle man.

Can, a 1.8%-owned asset, barely makes it onto the first page of freshly-purchased midfielders, with a mere 8,300 extra bosses.

Are we all missing a trick? Emre is certainly talking up his more attacking credentials.

“It was very good to learn how to build the game and it was very important for me. I enjoyed my time there but I feel at home in the midfield position. That’s where I like to be. It’s a different role to last year when I played more as the No. 6. That was more of a controlling position. Now I can attack more and my target is to score more goals and get more assists. I think it suits me because I like to run forward and to be dangerous.”

This week’s Big Numbers article backs up Can’s forward threat – the German equalled Coutinho for shots in the box over the last six Gameweeks and his 17 attempts on goal are up there with Sanchez and Eden Hazard.

Apart from a Merseyside derby in which anything can happen, Liverpool have a good run of fixtures through to a New Year’s Eve clash with Man City, with West Ham and Stoke at Anfield and Bournemouth and Middlesbrough on the road.

So Can could even be the man to soften the Coutinho blow.

Conte’s Chelsea Choices

Liverpool’s midfield might be in a state of injury-induced flux, but they’re all made-up in Chelsea.

In fact, all Antonio Conte has to do is decide who to leave out at the moment.

Among the current first choices are Pedro (7.3) and Victor Moses (5.7), although the latter’s wing-back duties do lessen his lustre somewhat.

Pedro, however, is solid gold. In six consecutive starts, he’s scored three goals and laid on four assists. Throw in five clean sheet points and another five in bonuses and his 48-point haul has delighted his canny 4.8% ownership base.

And yet there’s still a nagging feeling that the Spaniard will be the first to make way to squeeze Willian (7.1) back into the team.

Over to Conte:

“Pedro is playing great football. He’s enjoying this type of football and showing his quality. It’s not easy for me to make the decision between him and Willian but he’s playing very well and deserved to play. I’m very happy for him and Moses, another player who in pre-season you wouldn’t think would be in the starting 11. Pedro scored a great goal but he worked a lot for the team, that’s what I want to see and it’s important to continue in this way. It’s also important for us to see Willian (a second-half substitute v Spurs) after a bad period for him.”

Christmas is coming, and with it inevitable squad rotation. But those on Pedro will be desperately hoping he’s around to fill his boots against the likes of West Brom, Sunderland, Palace and Bournemouth before New Year’s Eve.

Conte’s words are sufficiently well-chosen to suggest it might still be more hope than expectation.

Defoe Defiant

One player who has no such worries is Jermain Defoe (7.6).

Three strikes in his last four matches, and seven for the season, in a team as goal-shy as Sunderland makes him the most guaranteed of starters since prawn cocktail’s legendary career at Berni Inn.

He’s not the cheapest of strikers, nor is he the youngest, but his enthusiasm for the game will bring pre-Christmas cheer to the 19.5% of FPL managers with him in their sides.

“I still feel sharp. I don’t feel like I’ve had to change my game in any way. I understand that as players get older you may have to change your game, instead of running in behind sometimes you may have to drop short. I feel like I can do it, and I’ve carried on this season, it’s good. I don’t feel 34 at all. I’ve still got that same buzz, I wake up every morning buzzing for training, even on my day off I wake up and think: ‘What am I going to do now?’”

After a dreadful start to the season, the Black Cats are starting to pick up the pace and have three matches at home over the next four Gameweeks. One of those is against Chelsea, but Defoe still looks well-placed to beat Walcott to that ten-goals-for-a-coffee-machine target before a Boxing Day trip to Man United.

And that would keep him buzzing every morning.

High Praise For Jones…Eventually

United, meanwhile, have a gurning new face back in their defensive ranks – the actually-not-currently-injured Phil Jones (4.7).

The centre-half has now managed a staggering three starts in a row, prompting Jose Mourinho to damn him with praise so faint you would be forgiven for considering it an insult.

“Jones is faster than John [Terry], John is better in the air than Jones.”

Terry’s better than nearly everyone in the air, but even Philippe Coutinho in a cast can do him in a sprint, so thanks for that Jose.

What next, ‘Jones is hotter than Iain Dowie’?

At least Mourinho finally got round to some proper praise.

“Sometimes defenders now think the most important quality is to build from the back. That is not the most important quality. The most important quality is to defend. In the last month, he has given great performances in a moment when the team lost Bailly and Smalling at the same time. He gave us the stability that we have at the moment. He has good personality, now with one or two weeks of football and training he looks very sharp and the team is safe. His condition looks very good and his confidence is coming up. He is playing really well, no mistakes in 90 minutes.”

After keeping two clean sheets in the first three weeks of the season, United have taken another ten matches to double that total, but defensive good times could be just round the corner – after Gameweek 15, the Red Devils will host Sunderland and Middlesbrough and travel to Palace, West Brom and West Ham.

At 4.7, Jones is the cheap way into some good shouts for a shut-out or two. And don’t forget – he’s also faster than John Terry.

Bradley’s False Move

Sigurdsson: the Gylf that keeps on giving.

While all around have been losing their heads, and a huge chunk of points, at Swansea this season, the 7.3-priced midfielder has quietly gone about doing his thing – scoring Fantasy points.

He’s got three goals and as many assists from his last six starts and new manager Bob Bradley has some inspiring words for the 6.1% of managers currently going for a Sigurdsson.

“Gylfi can play either role, he can play off another player, and certainly we can always adjust that way in a game. But when he has freedom, he has an ability to be one of the first defenders – he works hard and does a great job there – and going forward he comes away from defenders and gives us another option and forces defenders to make decisions. It helps us string more passes together and you need your forward players to come away from the defence and find pockets of space and give us good options. I was not satisfied with parts of the other games in that area.
Whether you call Gylfi’s position a false nine, or the head of a midfield diamond, those are small differences.”

So while Fernando Llorente’s double-quick double in the last-minute madness against Palace might have caught the eye of some, Bradley looks set on Sigurdsson up top for a while longer.

And once this weekend’s trip to Spurs is out of the way, the Swans have a superb run of fixtures all the way into 2017, with Sunderland, West Ham and Bournemouth at home and West Brom, Middlesbrough and Palace away.

That lowly ownership figure could well be about to expand more than our Christmas waistlines as a result.