Mark returns brazen faced from gameweek 29 with a right cob on after skippering Bendtner; so much so that I’m forced to flash him a yellow for a foul-mouthed tirade that earns this podcast a parental guidance certificate.

This broadcast is therefore suitable for ‘General listening, but some talk may be unsuitable for some children. Unaccompanied children of any age may listen but it should not disturb a child aged around eight or older. However, parents are advised to consider whether the content may upset younger or more sensitive children.’

Amongst all the potty talk, I’m left ruing the return of my bad luck. Was it bad luck or was it just a ‘Ricketts’?

Then it’s off to the fantasy island with a selection of players from all parts of the union. Anyone heard the one about the Englishman, Scotsman and Welshman? Well you’re not going to hear any well defined stereotypes on here; we’ve upset enough folk with this one.

Download or stream this filth via this link or grab it, along with all our other episodes via this page.