It’s time to make a booty call to Aleks Kolarov.

I predicted as much, way back on day one of the season and, this morning, the opportunity for that one-Gameweek stand with the Serbian is too good to turn down.

I can’t afford his barnstorming Argentinian team-mate: Pablo Zabaleta is just too rich for my blood without spending four points – something I’m really not keen to do when dealing with defensive trades.

Ron Vlaar or Alan Hutton are the other options but, in contrast to Kolarov, they’re so safe and sound I almost feel nauseous at the prospect.

The stars have aligned for Kolarov. Having returned from injury, he looks about 70:30 to start against Burnley and, if that doesn’t materialise, he’ll be 90:10 to take to the pitch against Sunderland a few days later. Eventually, he’ll get his run-out.

When he does start, he comes laden with promise. He threatens the goal more often than any other defender. He’s second only to Leighton Baines for chances created and, like Baines, he’s often all over dead-ball scenarios. Unlike Baines, he looks pretty assured of a clean sheet either today, or against the Black Cats.

I know this is just a short-term fling. I mentioned back in August that Kolarov can’t offer me security. But then, security and comfort can be overrated. Look at the aforementioned Baines. It all started so passionately – six assists and a goal in the first nine Gameweeks had my head in a spin. Now’s he’s given me nothing for two months.

I’m willing to work on my relationship with Baines – I know there’s something worth rekindling. However, for one week only, I’m going behind his back and allow my head to be turned by the enigmatic Serbian; let’s see if he can’t show me what I’ve been missing.

Don’t look at me like that: he’s my guilty pleasure. Sometimes this Fantasy manager just struggles to say “no” and one of those sometimes is now.