Community
21 October 2021 5 comments
Lord. Lord.
Share:

As the heady excitement of MD1 morphed into the abyss of the international break, it was all change in the Not BBC studio. Traumatised by low ratings and losing out in the Football Content Awards to a Box, Smarmy disappeared in a Carb-induced huff; and Aloo Shearpots was last seen loitering around the Director’s Suite at St James Park. Fortunately, they did leave their Big Book of Puns and Profanisaurus behind, which means that normal service will be resumed, but whether it matches the action on the pitch is another matter. Wildcards were flourished, benches were cleared, and the hits were flying, but who was still standing when the dust settled? It’s time to get the ball out and expose those who stuck out in Match Day 2.

THE RESULTS ARE IN …

Free Britney’s Areola 2-1 Krul Intentions

In the early kick-off, the meanies were unable to handle Free Britney’s Areola. Az and Captain Kakaroto did the business in the H2Hs, but the Free Britney’s bounced back in the squad match with Lawro and Snazzy Viking leading the line to secure a 2-1 victory.

Flying without Ings 0-2 Ayew Lonesome Tonight

Flying without Ings were left grounded as Ayew Lonesome Tonight recovered from last week’s heartbreak. Narcos donned the gloves to keep a clean sheet; the choir played their part; and ballads will be written about Joe Lepper’s 13 points from the bench as the crooners soared to a 2-0 victory.

Hwang King in a Greenwood 0-5 Fantastic Mr Fox

The Fantastic Mr Fox proved that you can’t beat the real thing as the Hwang Kings again failed to rise to the occasion. Xhaka Laca set the tone with 81 pts and a brace; Hashim Ashraf impressed between the sticks; and the squad also chipped in to deliver a table-topping performance.

The Rooney Tunes 1-3 Toxic Seaman

Lateriser piped up with a fine solo for The Rooney Tunes, but after that it was sea shanties all the way as Toxic Seaman sailed to a 3-1 victory, anchored by a strike from CORF, and performance enhanced contributions from the crew.

Hey MaccaReina 1-0 Loris the Hounds

In an epic clash, the MaccaReinas had to be on their toes to keep the Hounds at bay. Faraboy Bash’s talents were wasted in goal, and his teammates were kept on a tight leash by the dad-dancers, who bopped to a narrow victory.

Too Krul for Siu 2-3 The Nameless Ones

Camzy put the boot in to secure a two-goal lead for the Krul Crew, but it was the Nameless Ones who achieved fame due to a goal from FPL Editor and a brace from the John Does in the squad.

Carroll’s Christmas Island 1-3 Defoe King Unbelievables

The pacesetters from MD1 started well with a cracker from fplhints, but from then on it was lights out thanks to an unbelievable performance by the Defoe Kings. Hasselbaink Forever was the main Grinch but the helpers also joined the feast, serving up a 3-1 victory.

Catch me if U Kane 2-0 Bachmann and Robin

The wantaways struggled to get away from the dynamic duo, who used their FPL superpowers to neutralise Kane’s goalscoring touch in the H2Hs. However, even their Rasping Drive was unable to contain the truants in the squad match, who maintained a consistently strong pace to secure victory.

Jimmy Floyd Hamsterbaink 2-4 No Fuchs Given

Boris Bodega wielded his free hit chip to ensure that the Hamsters hit the wheel running, but No Fuchs Given didn’t seem to care, and Boris’ furry friends couldn’t maintain the pace.  Monil Jhaveri halved the deficit, and a succession of fine scores in the squad match soon had the rodents running for cover.

Shearer’s bunch of Flowers 2-1 The Hairy Henry

The closest match in a week of nail biters saw AJ’s strike for the Flowers cancelled out by andriyballack’s retort for the Hairy Henrys. The squad match was tighter than a close shave, with both sides eying victory; but after several recounts it was the florists, backed by Ravi Vyas’s fragrant score, who emerged victorious. There will be tears, and I don’t think that a nice bouquet will cut it.

Footstock Alumni 1-5 Hanging by a Fred

fplgeneral led from the front, but the dividends went to Hanging by a Fred, with rigudfootiemanager living up to his billing with a storming hattrick, and the high score of MD2. ben_pz’s excellent cameo couldn’t stem the flow of the Fred squad, who divvied up for two more goals, and a 5-1 win, which leaves Footstock Alumni facing the wrath of their share-holders – probably not for the first time.

Shot to the Hart and Yorke to blame 1-1 Son of a Gunn

It was welcome to the Jungle as two of the hotshots from MD1 locked horns, but we soon lost Patience when someone forgot to order the ammo. Vasman60s strike was cancelled by Son of a Gunn snipers, and after an extended stand-off, the UN had to be called in to avert Civil War. Hopefully it will be Paradise City … until next week.

The full results can be found here:

SKLW – Live scores & League tables – Google Sheets

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

There was a lot to celebrate in MD2, including defiant contributions in a losing cause from Boris Bodega (74pts); ben_pz (75pts); Faraboy Bash (77pts); and Rasping Drive (78pts). Ravi Vyas’s 75pts made the difference in his match; and Xhaka Laca (81pts) was fantastic in delivering the goals to maintain Mr Fox’s perfect record; but this week’s top banana has to be rigudfootiemanager (82pts) who topped the scoring charts, and took the match ball home, in a table-topping performance. Well done to all.

HOW IT STANDS

It’s still early days but Hanging by a Fred are dangling from the top of the tree, and are joined by the Fantastic Mr Fox, Nameless Ones, and Toxic Seaman, with the MaccaReinas trailing on goals scored. They are already socially distancing from the rest of the league; as are Flying without Ings, who have yet to stick one in the onion bag; but there’s plenty of time to put that right.

The full table is as follows:

COMING UP NEXT

In the pick of the MD3 ties, Hey MaccaReinas will be hoping to keep the party going against Fantastic Mr Fox; Hanging by a Fred will be looking to maintain their fine start by keeping Son of a Gunn holstered; and who knows if Toxic Seaman will sober up in time to repel Too Krul for Siu. The Hairy Henry will need a sound defence for the visit of shot in the Hart and York to blame.

For the teams looking for their first win, Rooney Tunes will need to come up with a better melody than Are You Lonesome Tonight; and Flying without Ings will be praying that Krul Intentions are side-tracked by MD2 recriminations. Footstock Alumni will be playing their motto; and the tabloid interest will be on how Free Britney’s Areola looks for Hwang King in a Greenwood.

The full line up for Match Day 3 is as follows:

That’s all for this week, but don’t forget to tune in for the Friday night start to Match Day 3. We’ll be watching.

5 Comments Login to Post a Comment
  1. Greyhead
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 7 Years
    4 years, 1 month ago

    Cracking stuff Lord! Also good to see the Toxic Seaman continue to sail to success in these stormy waters

    1. KIRA
      • 7 Years
      4 years, 1 month ago

      Brilliant

  2. Toblerone52 - Zlatan Ibra-H…
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 9 Years
    4 years, 1 month ago

    Great write up Thanks Lord!

  3. Boris Bodega
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 10 Years
    4 years, 1 month ago

    Thanks Lord, love your articles

  4. smash
    • 16 Years
    4 years, 1 month ago

    Vardy or Toney for the next 3-4 is what it boils down to for me, can't decide what one though?