The Pre-Match Preamble – Gameweek 2

After ten seasons of Fantasy Premier League management, I’d presumed I’d experienced almost every awkward scenario.

Tomorrow, however, I’ll be willing Theo Walcott to cut through the Crystal Palace defence having shown him the door just 24 hours earlier.

It’s a bizarre and uncomfortable situation, created by this season’s disjointed beginnings.

Us Fantasy managers begun the campaign without a full set of clubs. We’ve been chipping away with the irons, having left our trusted big-hitting set of woods in the garage.

The gradual introduction of Sergio Aguero and Alexis Sanchez – obvious contenders for the top-scoring FPL player this term – may not be so gradual.

Both entered stage left in Gameweek 1 and both are expected to feature in the lead cast this weekend. Should they arrive and steal the show, there will be frenzied transfer activity beyond anything we’ve seen to this point.

Most visitors to our pages are well aware of their impending arrival.

The clamour to ship out Walcott in order to preserve a measly 0.1 is not the result of careless knee-jerk; it’s a necessary step to prepare our squads for the inclusion of more consistent heavy-hitters. For true armband candidates.

Sadly, it’s clear to this point that we can’t place Wayne Rooney in that bracket.

When it comes to form, Wayne wears his heart on his sleeve: he’s either driving forward, showing hunger for goals with every touch or wandering aimlessly, showing hunger for Greggs with every misplaced pass. Rooney’s performance at Villa Park last night clearly resembled the latter.

Without a goal on his travels since November, Rooney has confirmed that he’s simply keeping the seat warm for Aguero; his 10.5 will surely be up-scaled as soon as squad shuffles allow the acquisition of the Argentine.

Or maybe Harry Kane will blitz the Stoke defence and change our plans? Maybe Christian Benteke will spark on his home debut and force a rethink?

Such uncertainties are inevitable at this stage in the campaign, although it’s safe to say that Aguero and Sanchez, along with Eden Hazard, are as close as we get to sure bets.

With Arsenal and Chelsea stalling on day one and Rooney currently resembling a Sunday League regular, we should forgive ourselves for seeking out sure bets.

I’ll be back for you later, Theo.