With game-weeks lasting longer than the tenure of Watford Managers; famine arising from the failure of the chip crop; and Salah-days now a distant memory; this party is almost over. FPL Managers emerging from hibernation were shocked to find that Bruno had signed for Newcastle; while others discovered that a third of their team name has been arrested. Just when I thought I was out, GW23 pulls me back in.
THE RESULTS ARE IN …
Footstock Alumni 1-1 Krul Intentions
It was deadlock in the battle for mid-table obscurity as Footstock Alumni squeezed just enough from their Squad portfolio to overcome achintya292’s tap-in in the H2Hs. Suvansh led by example for Krul Intentions and Eliotyavfc was the top earner for the Alumni.
Shot to the Hart and Yorke to blame 1-0 Shearer’s bunch of Flowers
It was deadlock in the H2Hs but air guitars all around in the Squad match thanks to a succession of bloomers by Shearers bunch of Flowers. Riot did his best to disrupt proceedings, but his buds wilted under the firepower of theFPLkiwi, and a kick up the arse from Craggy Island All Priests Over 75.
Son of a Gunn 0-3 Jimmy Floyd Hamsterbaink
No hibernation for these Hamsters who skipped to another crushing victory against the misfiring Gunners. A Manager Has No Name made a name for himself in the H2Hs with 44 pts, and a brace; which was also matched by Torreslove and Vorbinho in the Squad match. FPL_Gills (50 pts) did his best to avoid the blank.
Hanging by a Fred 3-1 Catch me if U Kane
The Freds didn’t hang about, and it was Catch me if U Kane who were chasing in vain. Veezeeboy hurdled for a brace in the H2Hs, and Badgeville pulled one back, but it was the Kanes who couldn’t get a grip in the Squad match, and will surely regret leaving KIRAFPL’s 53 pts on the bench.
The Hairy Henry 2-1 Carroll’s Christmas Island
The Carrolls had little to sing about in this mid-table clash as the Follicled Frenchman made off with the points. Cak Juris found his Secret Santa in the H2Hs, but FPL Salah equalised; however, the Gallic Squad was sufficiently insulated to see off a late chorus from FPL Jogger (51 pts).
No Fuchs Given 0-5 Too Krul for Siu
No Fuchs Given were given one by Too Krul for Siu in another coupon-busting performance. Mrrahrah initiated the pain in the H2Hs, but it was a full court press without vaseline in the Squad match, with FPL Ron Manager being particularly authoritative for the Krul crew.
Bachmann and Robben 2-0 Hey MaccaReina!
The Caped Crusaders have been over-indulging on the Bat juice of late, but they stirred themselves to see off a dodgy outing by the Mods and Cons. Jubilanus warmed up the crowd in the H2Hs, tets mcgee kept it clean, and the MaccaReinas couldn’t keep up in the show-dance.
Defoe King Unbelievables 2-0 The Rooney Tunes
The Rooney Tunes still can’t get a break and were edged out by another expletive-ridden performance by the Defoe Kings. Hasselbaink Forever notched for the Defoe Kings in the H2Hs, and Shankly81 responded with 49 pts in the Squad match, but it was ‘that’s all folks’ after that.
The Nameless Ones 1-1 Hwang King in a Wood
The Hwang Kings made a deposit, courtesy of ManonPod_Dronuk in the H2Hs, but their lead was redacted in the Squad match thanks to a Somewhatpleasing response from ImBobbyLove for the Nameless Ones. Fabio Borges shook things up and proved that he knows a thing or two about clean sheets, but no-one else could get a grip.
Lloris the Hounds 1-0 Flying without Ings
The Hounds struggled to pick up the scent but still prevailed against Flying without Ings, who continue to stall in front of goal. The Ingless will count themselves unlucky as their Squad score would have beaten most teams; however, Hugh Dagg, Strakon, and Shobit ensured that the Dogs were top dogs.
Toxic Seaman 3-2 Free Britney’s Areola
Toxic Seaman were eager to get Free Britney’s Areola out of the Cup, and it was a free-scoring affair, but when they sobered up they remembered it was just a league match. Bald Eagle and The Snazzy Viking were scorers in the H2Hs, but it was the extra toxicity of the Seaman differentials that delivered a come-back victory.
Fantastic Mr Fox 3-1 Ayew Lonesome Tonight
It was another bad date for Ayew Lonesome Tonight, who once again fell for the charms of a passing Cove. jaravind was the first to break into the henhouse for the Foxes, and the Squad soon followed; and only @FPL_SMR emerged with a memento from the Crooners’ assignation.
The full results can be found here:
SKLW – Live scores & League tables – Google Sheets
PLAYER OF THE WEEK
With most game-week scores well below the Mendoza Line, there’s not much cause to get the bunting out but FPL Ron Manager, with 59 pts, stands out as the top scorer who delivered a match-winning performance against the league leaders. With little else to shout about, let’s acknowledge some of our individual Managers who are achieving seismic results, including Pukki Blinders (currently ranked 81st in the world); tiaga (121st); and Suvansh (224th). Well down all, and keep up the great work.
HOW IT STANDS
Hanging by a Fred are now loitering alongside No Fuchs Given at the top, with Son of a Gunn more socially distanced in third place. At the bottom, it’s Flying without Ings who are most in need of a new manager bounce.
The full table is as follows:
COMING UP NEXT
No Fuchs Given are in catchable form right now, which could be good news for the Kanes; and Shearer’s bunch of Flowers will be looking to drag the Freds back into the pack. Son of a Gunn will be ready to take advantage of any slip-ups, and have Footstock Alumni in their sights. At the bottom, Flying without Ings will be seeking lift-off points against the Fantastic Mr Fox. Finally, the match-up between Hwang King in a Wood and Toxic Seaman sounds like a prediction.
The full line up for Match Day 13 is as follows:
That’s all for this gameweek but no nodding off: we ride at dawn (well Tuesday evening), and then again on Saturday. Stay safe.
