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FFS Uefa Hockey World Cup 2014 – Matchday 5

Here’s our regular update on the competition, featuring a look at the Matchday 4 games that took place over Gameweek 8. We also have some fun handing out some Matchday Awards and a look ahead to Matchday 5. Please use this article for all tournament chat.

MATCHDAY 4 RESULTS

The final Matchday 4 results have been updated in the Cup spreadsheet and we can reveal that after a hard-fought Matchday, England and New Zealand are atop Groups A and B respectively. Congratulations to all the victorious teams and commiserations to Malaysia and Korea.

MATCHDAY 4 AWARDS

Louis van Gaal Award for the best attack – New Zealand with a mammoth 1081 goals

A Rainy Night at Britannia award for the best defence – Argentina conceding just 857 goals

Salma Hayek Overnight Award for the player of the week – Djenzio with an incredible 123 goals

SAF Management Award – Zep with 98% manager rating

Jose Mourinho Award for the best press conference of the week – Lee Sha-Do  with latest TV coverage from Korea and Ellipsis (Argentina), who has now won 5 times in a row

Hot Urine Treatment for the highest point scorer on the bench – Seamy (South Africa) with 117 goals

Dalglish Differential for the worst team selection – 7 shades of smoke (India) with a record 86% rating

MATCHDAY 5 PREVIEW:

With the final matchday of the group stages about to be played in Gameweek 9, here are the fixtures

Group A

Australia vs India

Spain vs Malaysia

Belgium vs England

Group B

Argentina vs South Africa

Germany vs Korea

New Zealand vs Netherlands

Keep track of how your team progresses over the gameweek via the Live ScoreCast Tool

HOW CAN EACH TEAM QUALIFY FOR THE KNOCKOUTS?

As we head into the final matchday of the group stages, we still have 10 teams vying for 4 knockout spots, with no one team guaranteed qualification yet. It can’t get any closer. Here’s a rough take on the scenarios in each group.

Group A

Even though England are the only team with 9 points in Group A, it is closer than it seems because of everyone’s goal difference (GD) being so close (within 50 goals, which is barely anything). It is almost a must-win game for England, as a loss will likely see them below two other teams on GD. A win will see England qualify irrespective of goal difference.

Amongst the remaining teams on six points, Belgium are favorites in the group, as a win will likely see them through on Goal Difference. Spain face Malaysia and will also be confident of registering a win in another must-win clash for them. With heavyweights Australia and India going against each other, they are in the same predicament as they will need to register comfortable wins for either to qualify or hope that one of Spain or Belgium lose their games.

As you can see, it’s incredibly tough to call Group A at the moment with every one of the five teams needing a win to qualify.

Salma’s Predictions – Belgium narrowly defeat England and Spain defeat Malaysia, to go through on goal difference, with four teams ending up on 9 points.

Group B

In Group B, New Zealand sit at the top of the table as strong favorites to qualify. They are all but through, thanks to their remarkable GD. However, if Argentina win their game, NZ need to ensure they don’t lose to Netherlands by more than 63 goals. Argentina will want to win their final game or hope that Netherlands loses to NZ. Netherlands will have to defeat NZ to qualify and hope that Argentina lose their game. If Argentina win their clash, Netherlands will need to defeat NZ by more than 63 goals to oust NZ of the Cup.

South Africa’s best chance of qualification relies on NZ defeating Netherlands and South Africa defeating Argentina by more than 83 goals. Germany face an uphill task for qualification. Besides from just winning their clash against South Korea, they need to make up on their GD. With South Korea eliminated, rumors has it that they will give it their all for the cause of FFS teams in the final matchday.

Salma’s Predictions – Argentina top the group with a comfortable win against South Africa. NZ lose their games yet qualify on goal difference, with Netherlands coming really close to ousting them out of the cup.

LINE-UP SUBMISSION

All managers are requested to email me their four substitutes and their Fantasy Premier League IDs before the deadline of Friday, 24 Oct, 2359 BST. In case he or she fails to do so, the autosubs will be the last four players on the Squads Page.

Managers may also be likely to post any pressers on this article here. So be on the watch for latest team news, especially from your rivals. As previously, please keep all the match day banter on this thread.

Brace yourselves geezers, because it’s crunch time.

377 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Blue Lion
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Aotearoa! 😎
    Bring it on Oranjes!

    Kia mate toa!

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  2. Christina.
    • 14 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    To think the best team in the tournament can still go home.

    😕

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    1. Blue Lion
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      I know!
      Shows the quality of our opponemts!

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  3. Saniul
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Well, well, well.
    We should have never lost to Germany by 5 goals.

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    1. HVT
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      ****Breaking News****
      Team Örängē has become aware of a massive policy change from the current conservatory party leader MJ6987 who currently is plying his trade with the Dutch camp in a hockey World Cup tournament and has since found himself installed as vice captain.
      In a daring move Late last night he hit the transfer button in seemingly an uncharacteristic move of actually taking a 'gamble' after a long fought hard campaign with a certain Diego Costa who stood by him through thick and thin and rewarded him with a 615 rank, the usually cool and calm leader decided it was time for a cull.
      He dropped Diego Costa with a swift 'click' seemingly composed and sober MJ didn't bat an eyelid as his former star player departed.
      Team Örängē reporter has since become aware that it was all down to indecision and money.
      He has substituted Diego with the current rising star of Italian football deemed the new 'Pelle'.
      Team Örängē reporter got a quick interview as he speed away from HQ just this am, when questioned on loyalty to his star player he had this to say " it wasn't a question that Diego had let me down nor were his performances questionable, hell I made him (c) most weeks, I loved that boy-he's been triffic' week in week out, it's just I couldn't handle the dodgy hamstrings every week and he's only gone and had some dodgy 'piella' on Spanish duty to compound the whole thing, And anyway who am I ignore a .2 swing in value that has since panned out? I have responsibilities to my party at the end of the day"
      I then tasted the sweet smell of burning rubber as MJ sped away.
      Stirring developments that's for sure, we will get a poll later up on your screen to see what you think, but for now it's over and out from the Dutch camp as they prepare to face the kiwis tomorrow in a do or die clash with MJ really having added more pressure on Current manager Saniul as he goes into deep thoughts on his panel tomorrow while still trying to understand Reedys stats on NZ!
      HVT

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  4. Sunny 😎
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Really tight in Group B! Will be some huge games this weekend..

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  5. Seamy
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Yum... Hot Urine 😎

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  6. John t penguin
    • 9 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Pins salma's prediction to dressing room wall for motivation.

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    1. John t penguin
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Also despite being the only team in tournament with clear lead and team with most wins inc friendly, this reads a bit negative towards England.
      Must win game, closer than it looks, Belgium will win.

      Perfect for SAF style team talk about how the world hates us 😉

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  7. The Machine
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Malaysian team for the final week

    Nate (c)
    Jonty
    Triggerlips Lucy Milanista Aaron ozilski jack attack
    acquafresca Berbinhos forehead Optimus

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    1. Beavis
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Dropped. 😯

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      1. The Machine
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Tbh I haven't really looked at any teams. Just picked a random xi which has a 100% success rate atm

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        1. Beavis
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 12 Years
          9 years, 7 months ago

          😆

          I wasn't actually fussed anyway, we've sadly been eliminated!

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      2. John t penguin
        • 9 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Early plane home for you

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    2. The Machine
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      + KIP

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    3. Kip
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      A place in the stands for me

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  8. John t penguin
    • 9 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Could team engerland report to base by 5pm today.
    Need a clue who is sober, high, been arrested etc.

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    1. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Good luck fielding an 11 this week then

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      1. John t penguin
        • 9 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Last week we had to ask one of the winos standing at side to play
        Being England nobody noticed

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  9. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Hmm hope Salma is right with her predictions

    Vamos Argentina

    Bog rolls at the ready and bog brushes should they be required

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  10. Elniñorules
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Incredible feat for Ellipsis.

    5 wins in a row for the Jose Mourinho Award.

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    1. Colonel Wasabi
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      ...all while juggling 20 hour shifts at work and posting from the bog !!

      Genius 😀

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    2. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      And Spectrum and Sunny 🙁

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      1. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
        • 12 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Oh god I misread that (wipes egg from face)

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      2. Colonel Wasabi
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Haha ! No worries mate.
        The whole team appreciate what the Junta are doing 😉

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  11. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Congratulations to Djenzio as well from all the Gauchos

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    1. Sunny 😎
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Congrats Djenzio..have fun with Salma 😉

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    2. Colonel Wasabi
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Make sure you switch the go-pro on 😀

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  12. John t penguin
    • 9 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    A dark pub somewhere in east end of londin john terry''s dog holds his first official press conference since being given his passport back from the authorities.

    " awright leeches , yous ave got some davinas comin round my manor to ask me questions. Let's get it straight from the off, any your dodgy questions and yous will need an arse doctor to press play on your dictaphones to here the answer.
    Seen as we is playin those fake French girls this week I'll give first question to old waffle face there."

    Small man with funny hat stands up
    " allo meester dog, I have noticed yooz have been playing a veree defensive tac-a-tics, resulting in small victories. Is thizz a pre-planned strategge?"
    " you fink I am gonna tell yooz all our tactics, you must be off your rocker my son, now sit down an shut it ,cause I fink young rockers in the corner there as got his eye on you."

    JTD smashes kneck of traditional English cider bottle off bar and drinks straight from broken bottle.

    " c'mon whose next, ain't got all day to sit ere wi yooz lemmings"

    "Barry hound from the dog enquirer JT. There are rumours going round about you helping the Argentina team with inside information, is this true?"

    JT finishes eating the empty cider bottle and turns to reporter. " look my son, never let it be said that old JT ain't willing to help people, ask anyone. I am always helping water the neighbours plants and I have no problem helpin the local butcher get rid off those sausages he keeps leavin in the window. So if I happen to know some stuff and someone happins to ave some spare corned beef, what's wrong with us havin a little talk. So if your tryin to suggest somein then you and me are gonna be recreating the vinny jones and gaza scene, only it won't be using my hand. You get me?"

    Right next, you London based reporter who just makes things up, what you wantin.

    "Awright JT how they hanging? These Belgium lot fink they are the dogs bollo*ks, do you think you can take em?"

    " there's only one pair o dogs bollo*ks round ere. But fair respect to em, they ain't done too bad for a country famous for cakes n stuff, and that little snowy ain't a bad fighter, but really do you fink England will be scared of a country that can't even decide what language they speak, do me a favor."

    " now you lot will ave to do one, cause me n the boys ave got to help old school out from her majesty's pleasure, god bless her n that, silly bleeders only gone n got himself a 3 stretch for tryin to bring some mementos back from Amsterdam . And if you want to buy your car tyres back you'll need to see young rocket over there. Night night gents, it's been emotional"

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    1. Sunny 😎
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Nice presser JTD! We have more corned beef at the HQs if you've got something for us 😉

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    2. Old Schoolᴼˢ “disa…
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Hurry up and get me out ain't git no bloody wifi where I am and need to make my trannies and I ain't referring to those lot on c block... had to steal some dodgy phone with 3G to post this still with some remnants of a brown substance on it....

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      1. John t penguin
        • 9 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        classic

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    3. Woy of the Wovers
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Tis good... Very good.

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      1. John t penguin
        • 9 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        cheers

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    4. Reedy
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Reminds me of a Danny Dyer film...nay, every Danny Dyer film. Difference being I enjoyed this.

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      1. John t penguin
        • 9 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Went back to my previous nome frankie fryer to get in character

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    5. Elniñorules
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Engerrrrrrrrrlaaaaaaaaand

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  13. Saniul
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Hello, all.

    This has been a great week so far at the Dutch camp. That terrible feeling to lose by 5 points to the Germans, it was completely gone after a superb win against SA. A whole week of work later, we finally feel confident to face the Kiwis and be THE team to beat them. 63 point margin? Let's aim for that.

    Now, now. Special mention to Reedy and Timtastic03 for letting me know all I needed to about NZ. Also to captain MJ, superb work to marshal the resources at the camp. And again, thanks to Reedy and Snake Juice for choosing this week to play the WC.

    Now, the team. Very difficult decision to choose the bench. Had to be more of a gamble, so here goes the lineup.

    N.A.B.I.L
    Reedy (c)
    Timtastic03
    Little Lukin
    Djerbil
    Pompeyfan
    iCon
    Roscola
    Snake Juice
    The Fantasy Freak
    Kuqi Monster

    Bench: HVT, MJ6897, Siva Mohan, Irish Madridista.

    Also, with MJ on the bench this week, I am letting Reedy lead the side in recognition of his wonderful behind-the-scenes work for the team so far. You're an asset.

    And last, a special mention for Timtastic03, #43 in the world, top work and keep it going.

    NZ-DZ is the team with so many of my DZ friends I'd have loved to have in my team, but war is war. 😉

    Best of luck to all.

    Cheers,
    Saniul.

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    1. Timtastic03
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Cheers Gaffer! And congrats to Reedy, top effort over the last week!
      Hup Holland!

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    2. Colonel Wasabi
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      This is going to be a great spectacle !

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    3. Sunny 😎
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Good luck Holland. Hoping to see you guys in the finals 😉

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      1. Woy of the Wovers
        • 13 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Mebbe Sunny but let's get Argentina there first before we cheer for the Dutch. Saffers are practically Dutch anyway.

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        1. Sunny 😎
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 7 months ago

          They are going out so I thought a few good words would help ease the pain 😀

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    4. Reedy
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      😳 Thank ye kindly gaffer, shall wear the armband with pride. Good luck Team!

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      1. Blue Lion
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        You were spying on us???

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        1. Djerbil
          • 12 Years
          9 years, 7 months ago

          u have no idea

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        2. Saniul
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 7 months ago

          Obtaining important information about rivals is a better way to put that. 😉

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    5. President John F. Keninnsie
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Good luck guys. May the best team win.

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      1. Saniul
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Cheers Inssie. Best of luck to you guys as well.

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        1. President John F. Keninnsie
          • 10 Years
          9 years, 7 months ago

          Wait sorry I take that back. No one who spells my name wrong deserves luck. I hope we thrash you by 200 goals. 👿

          😉

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          1. BigManBakar
            • Fantasy Football Scout Member
            • 11 Years
            9 years, 7 months ago

            😯

            😀

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          2. Sunny 😎
            • 11 Years
            9 years, 7 months ago

            😆

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    6. Elniñorules
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Massive clash this. Affects everyone in the group. Well except us 😉

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  14. Christina.
    • 14 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    good team that. my Senegoal mate snakejuice.... Cwazy Owange Wabbit..

    Dit gaan taaie stryd wees met die Hollanders.

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    1. Billy Gilmore
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Paying homage to your ancestors, ay, saffer? 😉

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  15. Hwangson
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    A) Naismith/Sterling
    B) Downing/Benteke

    First to 3 wins!

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    1. Timtastic03
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Wrong post, probably won't get 3 responses here. A but I'd replace Naismith soon or B and replace Benteke

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      1. Hwangson
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Why replace Benteke?

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  16. djenzio
    • 9 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    sorry i have been so quiet on here....just back from some quality time with Salma!

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    1. Sunny 😎
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      The management has sent a crate of liquids to your house Djenzio. We don't want you to be lacking any juices this weekend 😀

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      1. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
        • 12 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Bog roll on the bedside cabinet for young Djenzio

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    2. Woy of the Wovers
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      She must have been impressed this week

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      1. Woy of the Wovers
        • 13 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        ...when she saw your reverse Ted Rogers.

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  17. John t penguin
    • 9 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    its an injustice thats what it is.
    not even mentioned in the community round up

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    1. Reedy
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      I'd take it up with the community up-rounder, on the community round-up post...
      if I were a whiny bitch that is! 😉 😆

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      1. Reedy
        • 13 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        sorry shouldn't laugh at my own jokes

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        1. Reedy
          • 13 Years
          9 years, 7 months ago

          I once had a German girlfriend that was very clear on that point. In fact I think she frowned upon humour in general...

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          1. Saniul
            • 11 Years
            9 years, 7 months ago

            LOL

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        2. John t penguin
          • 9 Years
          9 years, 7 months ago

          Was funny though

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  18. Blue Lion
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Aah..i see i am benched. Shall cheer my team from the bench for a change.

    Good luck NZ-DZ! Squash those Oranjes!

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  19. Sunny 😎
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Where have all the South Africans gone? Given up already?

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    1. Konig Luther
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      nope... we worked in the shadows all rounds

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      1. Sunny 😎
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Practicing escape techniques to avoid showing your face after the inevitable loss?

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    1. Konig Luther
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      RF for you, Gaucho Sunny

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  20. Thomass
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Story of Thomass at South Korea

    "It was a great honour to be asked to be the captain of Korea. I am delighted that Shadow saw fit to recommend me for the job. I have great respect for everything he has done." - Thomass after being appointed as captain

    "I find it hard to believe that's the way the balls came out of the bag, that's for sure. I think it's the hardest start that I have ever had. I hope it's not because Shadow won cups with ease before but the fixtures this time have been made much more difficult." - Thomass discussing Korea's tricky start to the campaign.

    "It is not frustrating because I will sort it. I will fix it. I will turn it around. I have got no doubt about that. We know we have to improve. I am still getting to know them. We are really good team, we won 2 cups under Shadow last year, but we need to make sure we improve." - After losing 2 games in a row.

    "I don't know what we have to do to win. We played well today." Thomass after Korea's third loss in a row

    "That's the worst we have played in the Cup. It was a really poor performance. We never really got going from the start and we didn't deserve anything because of the way we played. We never really got to grips with things and to a man you could hardly pick anybody out. We just didn't perform." Thomass after the loss to Argentina

    "The job was always going to be hard. Is it harder than I thought it would be? Yeah, I would say so." Thomass to SSNHQ

    "We need to end the Cup on a high. We want to finish by winning our last game against TotalFPL. We'll do everything we possibly can to make that happen." Thomass before the game against Germany.

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    1. Elniñorules
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Inspirational read, Captain. Just not our tourney this time. Let's end on a positive note!

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    2. John t penguin
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      "I will do anything really , what skills? No nothing to speak of"

      Thomass at the job centre

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  21. SW6
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Aussie line-up for the big game:

    -------------------------Liastro
    Bubz------Aliminator------JK(c)-----------Sinik
    -----Donahue---------Lawro------Notorious
    Wild Rover---------Potatoace---------RödallegaBomb

    Subs: Ginkapo, Capt. Shirokov, Werkself, Tony Warner

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    1. Elniñorules
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Good luck Roos!

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  22. Elniñorules
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Massive gameweek for 10 teams, keep track of the live scores here

    http://preciselyme.com/fpl/hwc

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  23. The Missing Link
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    SA vs Argentina differentials

    Argentina
    heaton, Chambersx3, Sanchezx2, Sterling, Hazx3, Aguerox2, Krulx2, Wisdomx3, Costa, Tadic, Moreno, Aldewereld, Mane, Caulkerx2, Eriksen, Begovic, Ulloa, Myhill, Guzan

    SA
    Siggy, Berahino, Naylorx2, Pellex6, Forsterx2, Bainesx2, Di Maria, Hutton, Fabregas, Pocognoli, Mannone, Coleman, Fosterx3, Ivanx3, Downing, Baarkley.

    Pelle brace a minimum required for us. 21 out of 22 players with Aguero captain 😯

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    1. Colonel Wasabi
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Wow.....we're wide open to a Pelle hat-trick 😯

      Mind you Aguero x 2 differential with everyone captaining him is an Aguero x 4 differential for us 😉

      Arsenal performances vs Everton players looks to be another one to keep tabs on.

      Hoping Hazard & Fab bring it home versus Ivan....

      This is going to be seriously nerve-jangling !

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      1. Woy of the Wovers
        • 13 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        I think the differentials allow for captaincy already.

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      2. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
        • 12 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Not a lot we could do about that we knew that already. Stoke are never easy to beat let's hope that's the case today

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    2. Ellipsis
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Good luck today TML!!! All the best!

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    3. Ellipsis
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      no one gets a brace V stoke by the way 😉 (Thats the hope anyway! :O )

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    4. Sunny 😎
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      I think you missed out on Chadli x 2 for us

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  24. Ellipsis
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Good Morning ladies and Gentlemen, sportsfans and South Africa,

    Our preperations for todays final group match have been somewhat melancholic...This squad came into the tournament somewhat as underdogs...we were written off...we were to be a "walk in the park" to play against. All those doubters have gone ever so quiet. Our positivity, unity, comradery and second to none team spirit have seen us shine in this tournament and rise to be considered as genuine contenders. We dont want it to end here...

    We studied South Africa quite thoroughly to see what we could learn from them going into this fixture:

    Firstly...what is the deal with your Vuvuzelas? Sounds like a funny name for lady parts to us! You blow your silly horns, we'll throw our bog rolls!

    South Africa have never got beyond the group stages of a world cup. Looks like history is set to repeat itself!

    In attack we discovered they're quite nervy and like their fellow country man Oscar Pistorious they shoot too early... if they play like that again today very much like Oscar they wont have a leg to stand on!

    Having spent so many lonely years in sporting isolation they have slipped behind the rest of the world accross the board. Many of their best and brightest flee to represent other nations only to give South Africans a bad name...think Kevin Pietersen or Prop forward Matt Stevens who was banned for his penchant for the bolivian marching powder.

    The list of dubious sports stars go on...Shemale Caster Semenya for example got us thinking..is there a lady boy being kept under wraps in this South Africain team? We have requested from the UEFA council that one of their players be urine tested to confirm their sexuality as we believe this certain someone is hiding a Vuvuzela "downstairs"... we believe that we know the identity of this "missing link".

    The one thing we discovered that will serve them well is their sun scortched faces: as leathery as the biltong they love to consume, they will need their tough skin to get over the mauling they will receive this weekend!

    The record between Argentina and South Africa (at football) is remarkably tight W1 D1 L1...It's all there to play for! South Africa recorded their victory when a certain Winston Churchill was in his Early 30's...if we may we'd like to borrow the words of this great man who's great nation in group A have proven throughout the tournament to be our strongest ally, they are our "mans best friend" through mutual back scratching and exchanges of bog roll, corned beef and intelligence information. Winstons words eloquently sums up our journey:

    "The Koreans (Germans) have received back again that measure of fire and steel which they have so often meted out to others. Now this is not the end...it is not even the beginning of the end. But it is perhaps..the end of the beginning...

    There was a time, not long ago, when for a whole pre-season (year) we stood all alone. Those days, thank God, have gone. We now move forward in a great and gallant company. For our record we have nothing to fear, we have no need to make excuses or apologies. Our record pleads for us and will gain gratitude in the breasts of hockey fans (free men and women) in every part of the world"

    For the record Churchill was a prisoner of war during the Boer war and escaped returning home to a hero's welcome. He taught us that South Africa can't hold down good men nor a victory... something that gives us great comfort going into this fixture today.

    Our starting XI to face South Africa is as follows:

    Gaucho Spectrumaradonna (C)
    Gaucho Sunny (VC)
    Gaucho Ellipsis
    Gaucho Valargentina
    Gaucho Henry Hill
    Gaucho Dogba
    Gaucho Djenzio
    Gaucho YesTheSess
    Gaucho Wilshire Knowledge
    Gaucho PKB
    Gaucho MrCadburiesParrot

    Warming the pine and throwing bog rolls like their lives depend on it:

    Gaucho Woy of the Albicelestes
    Gaucho Don The Special One
    Gaucho Wasabi
    Gaucho RequiemofDream

    Thank you to the entire squad for all their great work in training and in team meetings this week, special thanks to the ever awesome Captain Spectrum and VC Sunny for their unbelievable work in management meetings as always!

    This is it, crunch time, we wish everyone the best of luck today as always.

    Gauchos...bog rolls at the ready!!! One last big push to the semi finals now!

    Vamos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Woy of the Wovers
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Vamos Gauchos!!!! Great work Ellipsis.

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    2. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Fantastic stuff

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    3. djenzio
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      best presser yet!

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    4. John t penguin
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Runs round excited at this presser

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  25. John t penguin
    • 9 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Ok usually get this wrong but here is differentials as far as I can see
    England
    Guzman x3, eriksen, lukaku, (mane x2), (berahino x3), krul x2, jagielka x2, baines x3, ( Gerrard), Siggy x4, (Cameron) , (Forster), fabs x2, (fonte), (Sanchez) , (Henderson)

    Belgium +4
    Barkley, Ulloa, (mannone), duff, naylor x2, hazard x2, (welbeck x3), (begovic x3) , (clyne), fabianski, Ivan x2, (tadic x3), (sterling) , (pelle x2) , (foster), ADM, (mangala)

    Names in brackets have played.
    As of now with predicted bonus after 3pm Saturday games we have 78 points to Belgium 45 with differentials.

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    1. Obi Wan Elokobi
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Come on then JT's dog do your Magic are we ahead or not.

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    2. John t penguin
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Told you I get it wrong
      So as it stands we are 25 points ahead
      Players remaining
      England
      Guzan x3, baines x 3, eriksen, lukaku, fabs x2, krul x2, jagielka x2
      Total of 14 players

      Belgium
      Ivan x2, Barkley, ADM, duff, hazard x2
      Total of 7 players

      Should we be counting our chickens now?

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      1. Obi Wan Elokobi
        • 12 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Yeah I'm happy to say I'm pretty confident yet we were completely wrote out of it.

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        1. John t penguin
          • 9 Years
          9 years, 7 months ago

          only by the people who didnt know much

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          1. Elniñorules
            • Fantasy Football Scout Member
            • 12 Years
            9 years, 7 months ago

            Nice way to motivate you guys out of complacency innit? 😉

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  26. Timtastic03
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 9 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Differentials for NED v NZ

    NED +87pts
    Lloris x1, Krul x4
    Ivan, Terry, Coleman x1
    Eriksen x2

    NZ
    Heaton, Guzan, De Gea x1
    Cahill, Jagielka x1, Rose x2
    Fabregas x2, Chadli x3
    Costa x5, Lukaku x1

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    1. John t penguin
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      will be some victory if this makes you qualify

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      1. Timtastic03
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Still a long day to make our way through...

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    2. Zep
      • 14 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Costa brace should do the trick... 😕

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      1. Saniul
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        And a blank gives us some chance

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    3. Elniñorules
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Holy shit! Can Netherlands really pull off the near impossible?

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      1. Saniul
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        They have 18 players to our 10.

        The Costa-Fab combo goal was the reason we lost to Germany two rounds back. That's the one we have to pray doesn't happen here.

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    4. Djerbil
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      0-0 in both the Man U-Chelsea an Spurs-Newcastle and we will have pulled it off

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    5. Timtastic03
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      If Costa does not play:
      NED get 6pts + Marney/Hutton + Boyd
      NZ get 9pts + Dummett + Hutton + Boyd x3

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      1. Timtastic03
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        Add 7pts to NZ taking the above subs into account

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  27. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    We are concerned

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    1. Elniñorules
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      You guys are in pole position at the moment innit?

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      1. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
        • 12 Years
        9 years, 7 months ago

        35 points in front but they look stronger than us for today's games. Doesn't help when people submit their teams then change them without telling you after they have been selected. Naughty. Should have been 49 in front

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  28. Saniul
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Among all the Costa-out cacophony, and Sakho-Berahino-Pèlle attraction, I kept Costa. Surely want him to do well.

    And then again... opponent NZ has 5xCosta differentials, a goal and we're surely out.

    Games within a game can be so cruel at times. 😐

    Still, all the best, my team. I don't mind if we go out, let our efforts on day II be atleast as good as day I.

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    1. Djerbil
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      as long as Krul matches Costa for points ,we should be fine

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  29. Djerbil
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 7 months ago

    Argentina vs SAF , tell me your differentials folks , We are concerned

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    1. Blue Lion
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Look above. Cross out the ones that have played.

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    2. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 7 months ago

      Looks like the differentials are

      Them

      Baines x2
      Coleman
      Ivanovic x3
      Hutton
      Di Maria
      Fabregas
      Barkley

      Us

      2 Mannone points off bench so 35 point lead.

      Hazard x3
      Krul x2
      Caulker x2
      Heaton
      Costa
      Eriksen
      Guzan

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