In case you missed it (unlikely), Chelsea presented their โPenalty Puzzleโ this week, claiming that, when it comes to their propensity to win spot-kicks, logic is being defied.
The article arrived off the back of a string of ignored penalty claims and, notably, just a couple of months after Jose Mourinho was fined for claiming that referees were being influenced to give decisions against the Blues.
Maybe itโs just me, but I canโt help but be cynical about all this.
Admittedly, I love a conspiracy theory. I rarely hesitate to speculate when there is just a shred of opportunity to do so โ particularly when it comes to events that could influence my Fantasy thinking.
Mourinho and Chelsea have fanned my flames this season, providing ample evidence for me to jump to wild conclusions on Diego Costaโs injury problems. I rarely need encouragement, but the recent noises stemming from Stamford Bridge have provided just that.
I canโt help but recall the events that followed Mourinhoโs recent comments regarding Paris St Germainโs levels of aggression. Here Mourinho ironically singled out Zlatan Ibrahimovic when analysing PSGโs display in the first leg of their Champions League tieโฆ.
“Because a team with fantastic players was the team with a record number of fouls, was the team making foul after foul, was the team which stopped Hazard with fouls all the time, was the team attacking the man in possession of the ball with two or three players with some very aggressive actions, a team where โ even a player like Zlatan [Ibrahimovic], a typical attacking player โ came back when they lost the ball and attacked Hazard from behind when we were countering.”
A week later the towering Swede tracked back again, was late in his โtackleโ on Oscar and triggered a reaction from Chelsea players that some described as โdisgracefulโ. The suggestion was that their actions were almost rehearsed โ primed by Mourinhoโs words just days prior to the match. More wild speculation.
The clubโs decision to publish this weekโs article has done little to calm claims of conspiracies.
To be fair, they talk in facts: in โ28 Premier League games this season where we have been awarded just two penaltiesโ. However, it’s perhaps careless to describe this statistic as โabnormally lowโ, even when historical data suggests that their current tally is below average based on previous campaigns.
Last season Arsenal were awarded just three penalties, the season before that, Spurs failed to win any. For all the statistical patterns of touches in the box versus penalties won, there are glitches in the system: random variables that serve up โabnormaltiesโ. Chelsea’s spot-kick count could be regarded as perfectly โnormalโ.
So what did the article achieve? Did it even seek to โachieveโ anything?
One thing is certain, it ensured that Mourinho would have the opportunity to comment on the issue in Fridayโs press conference without implicating himself…
“You gave so much importance to that article. I read it, I think it is a very objective article, it is just the number, no more than that. Itโs is not an opinion article that can lead to a discussionโฆIt is not open to opinions. It is just pure numbers, the numbers always tell the truth, no agendas, no intention. I just believe that it is an article with numbers in the same way that numbers always tell the truth.”
Whatever Jose claims โ statistics are often open to interpretation, and the term โabnormally lowโ does smack of an opinion based on these particular numbers.
So, as Chelsea make their way to the KC Stadium, the title tantalisingly within reach, the subject of penalty awards has been brought to the fore. Blown out of proportion by the press but undoubtedly fed by the words originating from the club.
Now letโs throw Michael Oliver into the mix.
As referees go, Sunday’s is a colourful character. A World Cup official in the making, Oliver is nonetheless prone to swing from the sublime to the ridiculous. Heโs high profile, in a high-profile scenario: a cocktail for controversy. Oliver has already awarded eight penalties across his 20 league appearances this season โ awarding two in one match on two occasions.
Does Michael Oliver go into Sunday’s cauldron oblivious to Chelseaโs โpenalty puzzleโ? Is he prepared to turn away spot-kick claims on Humberside?
Iโll be one of many watching on in fascination come Sunday, looking out for every stray foot and hand that swings the way of a Chelsea player, cross or shot.
Will I be backing my own speculation by handing my captaincy to Eden Hazard? I’ve certainly considered it.
Irrespective of failing to win a single spot-kick on the road, Hazard has scored in four of his last five away league matches.
As Jose says, “numbers always tell the truth” and, just like Jose, I love a conspiracy theory.

