The air was thick with the smell of hits, chips, and blanks as news of Spurs cancelling fixtures to avoid a clash with their Christmas Party hit the FPL community; and with rumours of Norwich, Leicester, and Man Utd also looking to deconflict with their Panto commitments, who knows where this will end? For those who did get the ball out, it was a week of dodgy benchings, and even dodgier penalties, with those having the best connections at the Palace coming out on top.
THE RESULTS ARE IN …
Krul Intentions 0-5 Catch me if U Kane
The Inquisition weren’t expecting the Kanes to turn up and were caught with their pants down as KIRAFPL’s crew delivered a sound thrashing, with only Rocco10 (85 pts) showing any intent to put up a fight. Elfortu (84 pts) and Swagat_superstar (82 pts) led the line in ignoring all pleas for mercy.
Carroll’s Christmas Island 4-0 Jimmy Floyd Hamsterbaink
The Hamsters were excited about their visit to Christmas Island, but Santa didn’t deliver, and they left empty-handed. The Carrolls did their best to help by carrying hits into the H2H fixtures, but it was all business in the squad match, with Fpl_Fudge (83 pts) making sure that the treats stayed at home.
Too Krul for Siu 2-5 Shearer’s bunch of Flowers
The prospects for growth looked bright for Too Krul for Sui as SUNFLOWER blossomed with 72 pts, and a brace, in the H2Hs; but they were soon outshone by Shearer’s bunch of Flowers, who went home with the garlands, and the matchball, thanks to a hattrick from Jonjo Shall_We? (82 pts), whose score was mirrored by Joserz in the squad match.
Hey MaccaReina! 2-0 Footstock Alumni
The Mods and Cons gave Footstock Alumni a lesson in asset stripping with a series of raids, led by Bertilad (81 pts), which left the City Slickers complaining about insider trading. All appeals to FPL Towers went unheeded and David Buckle (90 pts), and Benjackson01 (88pts), were left wondering what you have to do to turn a profit.
The Rooney Tunes 6-0 Shot to the Hart and Yorke to blame
Shot to the Hart’s title aspirations took a shot to the heart as The Rooney Tunes hit the right notes in a crushing victory. DD broke his duck with a timely wildcard, and Pepe Le Few (aka whitters_2014) (86pts) picked up more than a few, and probably wishes he wasn’t in goal; however, the carnage continued in the squad match.
Hwang King in a Greenwood 4-0 Son of a Gunn
Having come late to the party, the Hwang Kings have now found their rhythm, and are firmly on the rise thanks to a series of happy endings orchestrated by Joels188 (83pts). A rare clean sheet was also achieved, and the only hankies needed this week were for Son of Gunn to signal their surrender.
Flying without Ings 0-5 Hanging by a Fred
Flying without Ings maintained their grip on the wooden spoon with another Ryanair performance; and the Freds were able to take time out from hanging their stockings to fill them with another sky-scraping performance. rigudfootiemanager opened the scoring in the H2Hs, and the flak in the squad match had the Ingsless reaching for their parachutes.
Free Britney’s Areola 5-1 The Hairy Henry
The Free Britneys were full value up top, thanks to Snazzy Viking’s brace, but the mainframe also passed the eye test, as they returned to form after a couple of dodgy dates. For the Hairy Henrys it was substance over style, with only Rowhunn’s early eruption to show for their gallic charm. Can they handle mid-table obscurity?
Ayew Lonesome Tonight 0-2 No Fuchs Given
No Fuchs Given demonstrated that there are no freebies in FPL, as the form kings resisted all efforts to change the record. Surely the only thing that can stop them now is a manager of the month interview by Boris Bodega. For the Lonesomes, The Darkest Knight (77 pts), was their brightest light, but the No Fuchs squad stirred just enough to deliver the victory, with fplavatar (88 pts) showing how it’s done.
Fantastic Mr Fox 2-2 Bachmann and Robben
Bachmann and Robben finally found a super-villain they can stop, and put the brakes on Mr Fox’s plans for world domination, but only for now. Paul Parak zapped the dynamic duo for a brace in the H2Hs, but Jubilanus (85 pts), and Tets McGee (78 pts) responded in the squad match to ensure that the good people of Gotham live to fight another day.
Toxic Seaman 6-0 Defoe King Unbelievables
Expect an extra 20 minutes on this week’s Podcast so that Greyhead can wax lyrically about the performance by Toxic Seaman. In an attempt to save him the bother, the H2Hs were dominated by golden-glove performances by Darren Wiles (88 pts) and PirlosPen (81 pts); but the Defoe Kings couldn’t believe what happened in the squad match, as Bald Eagle (85 pts) and Chaballer (81 pts) forced them to walk the plank. The Sailors didn’t even miss Barry the Lighthouse Keeper’s 82 pts on the bench.
Lloris the Hounds 2-6 The Nameless Ones
After spending two weeks going to the dogs, the Phase 1 winners beat the hounds, and put paid to Boris’ manager of the month curse. It looked ruff early on as Kristian Vuglenovic broke the leash with 87 pts, and a brace; but FPL Editor struck back and Linnbee’s dogcatchers took care of the squad match. Just don’t expect them to bark on about it.
The full results can be found here:
SKLW – Live scores & League tables – Google Sheets
PLAYER OF THE WEEK
Footstock Alumni’s David Buckle is this week’s top scorer with 90 pts; and his teammate, Benjackson (88 pts), also hit the heights, but we’re not in the business of celebrating losers, which is also why Kristian Vuglenovic (Lloris the Hounds) (87 pts) misses out. Pepe Le Few (The Rooney Tunes) (86 pts) would have been in contention had his skipper not wasted his talents in goal and sreenathjvm (The Fantastic Mr Fox) (87 pts) was also a genuine contender. However, even though he’s probably not that fussed, this week’s top banana is fplavatar, whose 88 pts secured a table topping victory for No Fuchs Given. Well done to all.
HOW IT STANDS
No Fuchs Given are setting a fast pace but Hanging by a Fred are literally hanging on by a thread in their wake; and Son of a Gunn will be looking to reload after firing blanks this week. At the bottom, Flying without Ings are still finding goals hard to come by, and might wish to consider flying without Salah.
The full table is as follows:
COMING UP NEXT
Looking ahead to Match Day 10, surely even Boris will have no trouble predicting the outcome of the No Fuchs Given – Flying without Ings match up; and the Freds will looking to hang on to their winning streak against The Rooney Tunes; but the sparks will surely fly when Son of a Gunn dance with Hey MaccaReina! At the bottom, Too Krul for Sui will need to play nasty to get anything from Shot to the Hard and Yorke to Blame; and Bachmann and Robben will have a chance to advance if they can resist the allure of Free Britney’s Aerola. Presumably Catwoman is getting the week off.
The full line up for Match Day 10 is as follows:
Still not had enough? Check out the latest Podcast by Greyhead and Boris complete with analysis, interviews, and dodgy predictions.
That’s all for this week but remember, even if the football does get cancelled, we can still look forward to watching the Ashes. Stay safe.
