The Pre-Match Preamble – Gameweek 6

I’ve got results but I think I may have just lost the dressing room.

There have been several turning points.

Firstly, my continual underestimation of Etienne Capoue’s ability has caused dissenting murmurings since week one.

I bought the guy for one job and one job only.

He’s meant to be there when I need him – springing to life to deliver me a handy two points when my big signings are in the stands.

Somewhere along the line, he’s missed a meeting or his misread the job description. Either way, he seems intent on embarrassing me with his unfeasible and unsustainable strike rate.

I’ve stuck to my guns. He’s benched again today but nobody, including me, is very happy about it.

There’s talk of changing formation – of switching to all-out-attack just so that Capoue can get minutes.

In truth, I’m tempted. At least to get an incentive to drop in on a floodlit Turf Moor on Monday night.

As it is, Burnley against Watford sounds like x-certificate stuff, made all the more chilling by the prospect that Capoue will undermine my judgement further with another sublimely taken goal.

On top of this, my transfer policy is now in question.

I’ve managed to get away with ushering Eden Hazard quietly out of the back door.

There’s hardly been a whisper about that – those opening three Gameweeks now seem forgotten.

Clearly, the lads remember how he let us down last season. I think they were thankful that I’d not fallen under his spell again.

But my other Gameweek 6 move has provoked a much bigger reaction.

There’s talk that my decision to eject Zlatan Ibrahimovic is personal. Accusations that there wasn’t room enough in the dressing room for two swollen egos.

He didn’t go quietly, either.

“Zlatan is not happy. Zlatan says that your blind faith in Aguero and your concept that Lukaku will show consistency is ridiculous. You will see that he will blank at Bournemouth. You are a fool to turn your back on Zlatan.”

Yeah. Whatever. There’s the door, don’t forget your hair bands.

I fully accept that it would be just like Zlatan to punish me.

Today’s early kick-off will be another 90 minutes of flinching and fidgeting. The forthcoming Old Trafford meetings with Stoke and Burnley also look to be terrifying prospects.

But I’m in a decision-making business and, as I’ve said before, this season is forcing me to make some big ones.

Lukaku and Sanchez had to stay. As for Aguero – he’s just Aguero and he comes tattooed with the captain’s armband.

But I admit – “Mark might have made an error.”