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24 November 2016 318 comments
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The first week of the group stage of the Chili Bowl tournament proved every bit as exciting as we’d hoped. Here we’ll take a look back at how the ties played out and also see what Week two has in store for us.

As a reminder this group based tournament consists of four nationwide conferences, each comprising six teams of eight players. At the end of a round robin league two teams in each conference will go through to the knockout stages. Only the best will survive.

But you guys already know this right? Let’s get on with the Week one match reports.

Gameweek 12 Review

Conference A

It was a bad day office for Conference A. The teams in this division managed a  combined total of 1215 points. That is a full 76 points behind the next lowest. There were three teams in this group who scored less than 200 points.

Nevertheless, there were highpoints as well as low points in this conference. The Washington Presidents deserve top billing here racking up a 36 point win against the Los Angeles Vipers 220-184.

The Vipers posted the lowest score across all of the Conferences this week and will be looking to up their game next week when they play the Boston Hawks.

The feathered friends from the East coast  are also pointless after being edged out by the New Orleans Contes in a tense encounter, which finished 213-212 in favour of the Contes. The Cajun outfit were led by their captain Jazz! Who joined the team of the week as the third high scorer overall on 53 points. Boston also had a top performer in Chucky who scored 52 points and was fourth highest scorer this week

The final match in this conference saw the Miami Magicians take on San Antonio Ravers. This was a cagey affair, which saw the Ravers record the win despite both sides showing a solid defence and keeping the score down to 192-194.

Miami now need to go to Washington DC to face the divison’s top scorers after the first round of fixtures to try to turn their fortunes around.

Conference B

In contrast Conference B saw points aplenty across the board and it was comfortably the highest scoring group, with a whopping 1330 points.

No less than three members of this week’s team of the week come from this division, including star performer of the week Vinayashwin, who put down a marker with 57 points for Philedelphia Sentrymen.

Philadelphia didn’t just have Vinayashwin though, they had the second highest scoring individual of the week with Narcos, who also put in a very tasty 55 points and is hot on the heels of Vinayashwin at this early stage to be MVP.

It was all too much for Austin Powers as the twin attacks from Vinayashwin and Narcos led the Sentrymen to overpower the 1960s based dandies by 229-212.

So with two players in the team of the week, surely that has to be the biggest scoring match right? Wrong!

The Cleveland Steamers steamrolled The Mississppi Hillbillies and in the process notched the biggest score of the week overall bringing home the win 248-203, despite not having any players in the team of the week. This is quite a feat and shows the quality across the Steamers side.

The third match in this conference saw the Chicago Bull Sitters face the Phoenix Philistines and once again this was a points fest with the Bull Sitters coming home winners 234-204, led by their team of the week member Lord, who was the fifth highest scorer across the board with 51 points.

Next week Conference B sees all of the sides who won their first match facing teams who all lost their first match. It will be a long way back in this very tough conference for any team that loses two in a row.

Conference C

In Conference C it was a tight affair with the biggest win being only by a margin 25 points.

The biggest of these being San Jose Holebas who took a convincing victory over Seattle Salad-Dodgers. The green leaf shunning Nirvana fans were left diced and sliced by Holebas 235-210. In Week two the San Jose side, who are top of the table, have a local derby with fellow Californians and another of this week’s victors, San Francisco Bulls Deep.

The Golden Gate gang side beat Las Vegas Lemmings  215-198, leaving the Nevada team languishing at the bottom of the division.

It could have been even more humbling though for the desert gamblers as the San Fran side left the tournament’s top scorer of the week resting on their bench, with Rhinos scoring a massive 59. If played he would have comfortably been the highest overall scorer of this week. Bulls Deep will need to stop making these errors if they are to succeed against tougher competition.

Due to this Rhinos makes it into the team of the week as our first Alternate of the Week.

But don’t take it too hard Lemmings you have everything to still play for and you have great chance to get off the mark next week when you face the group’s next lowest scorers the New York Tommy Guns.

The Tommy Guns misfired this week against the San Diego Casuals, who nonchalantly beat The Clash song influenced team 219  to 209.

Conference D

This group provided the  second and third highest scoring teams across the Chili bow,l but it was also home to the second lowest scoring team as well.

It will come as no surprise that the biggest win of the week was in this Conference. The Waikiki Beach Raiders well and truly plundered the Utah Polygamists, taking a massive 57 point win (243-186).

Incredibly, it could have been even worse. The Hawaiian side benched another top scorer, Heels over Head, whose 54 point haul was seven more than their next highest performer.

Heels over Head therefore becomes our second Alternate of the Week.

That leads us to the second highest overall scoring team of the week, Albuquerque Shaolin, who caught the Jacksonville Jamaicans off guard. High kicking them where it hurts, the Shaolins ran home winners 244-207. This was in spite of Jamaican Lateriser12  rolling up an impressive 51 point stash.

The final match in this rundown features Indianapolis House of Pancakes and Denver Does Dallas. This was the closest match in Conference D, and saw the Lent snackers dispatch them 210 to 201.

Denver will need to turn this around when they face the Division’s top scorers Albuquerque Shaolin next week. Whereas Utah and Jacksonville face each other next week, affording both a great opportunity  to get off of the foot of the table.

Team and Manager of the Week

Vinayashwin (PHI) 57

Narcos (PHI) 55

Jazz! (NO) 53

Chucky (BOS) 52

Lord (CHI) 51

Lateriser12 (JAX) 51

Alternates:

Rhinos (SF) 59

HealsOverHead (WB) 54

The presser award for the Chili Bowl gameweek 12 goes to Tony Hibbert, from Denver Does Dallas with his with his mammoth tale of his route to the tournament and why  he was much the worse for wear on arrival (which may explain Denver’s result).

A full run down of the All Star Points and  captains award positions can be found here along with the rules.

The Manager of the week award goes to Ronhaar who successfully benched the two lowest scoring players from Austin Powers. Sadly it was not enough to help them clinch a win.

THE SQUADS AND THE FIXTURE LISTS

Please see this spreadsheet for details of all the squads (with links to each players FPL history) and fixtures.

Ziro has also created two further spreadsheets in google docs.

The FCB Differentials Spreadsheet allows teams to identify which players will be key in this week’s scoring. The instructions for using it are:

1. First, make a personal copy using the ‘File’ menu options (this will enable you to edit the cells)

2. Enter the GW no. in the blue-coloured cell on top.

3. Enter the FPL IDs of your six team members and the six IDs of the opponents’.

4. The sheet picks up the live FPL points of the players on each refresh, and the total for the team is displayed in green.

The FCB Next GW Scouting Spreadsheet will allow teams to pull in the previous week’s FPL teams for all 8 of the opposing teams players to allow scouting of the squads. The instructions for using this spreadsheet are as above except the fpl points are no longer valid.

SIDE ORDERS

Further previews and nuggets of information will be posted within the comments throughout the week, but the important things to know are as follows:

  • Captains must email the FCB mailbox (fantasychilibowl@gmail.com) with their decision on which two players they are benching this week before the deadline of 11:59pm UK time on Friday night.  11:59pm UK time on the night before the FPL deadline will be the deadline each week.
  • Remember this is a FFS community competition and we expect all teams to have some presence within the comments on these articles.  If we see some teams not participating on this front, we will start enforcing rules to ensure this does happen.
  • The full rules can be found here  – this includes details of the all-star game, and other individual/team awards.

If you have any further queries, feel free to ask below in the comments or email us at: fantasychilibowl@gmail.com

As a final request, please do try and keep the FCB chat to the comment sections of our articles.

On behalf of the FCB committee (Jarvish, BabyB, Ziro, Adam West and Cheese)

318 Comments Login to Post a Comment
  1. Rhinos
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 2 months ago

    Cheers cheese
    Ps does owning Anichebe count as presence? He's a big unit

    1. LE GOD(C)-AMERICAN DYCHO-(1…
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 2 months ago

      Great score mate!

  2. J0E
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • Has Moderation Rights
    • 16 Years
    9 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks for the update.

    Good to see my chili bowl gaffer Ronhaar get the manager of the week award. Although am shocked that there were actually members of our team with a worse score than me. 🙂

    1. @SirAustinDangerPowers
      • 14 Years
      9 years, 2 months ago

      Thanks Jonty.

  3. The Tinkerman
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 2 months ago

    Good start sentrymen, lets keep moving !!

    1. Belalugozi78
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 2 months ago

      Great score Vinay. We need to keep the high tempo

    2. chicrah
      • 14 Years
      9 years, 2 months ago

      Lets keep up the momentum!

  4. SAY SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 2 months ago

    Embarrassing.

  5. Az
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • Has Moderation Rights
    • 16 Years
    9 years, 2 months ago

    Great start Ravers, time to properly announce ourselves this week with a victory against the Contes!

  6. Lateriser 12
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 14 Years
    9 years, 2 months ago

    Jamaicans vs the Polygamists?

    Going to be one big orgy.

  7. Henryyy
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 2 months ago

    Nice read, good work 🙂

  8. Pirlø's Pen
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 2 months ago

    Great start Pancake-boys, now to topple Waikiki.

    1. Hasselbaink Forever
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 2 months ago

      Power to the Pancake

    2. AA33
        9 years, 2 months ago

        My pleasure!

    3. A.T
      • 15 Years
      9 years, 2 months ago

      We're just getting warmed up. Bring on The Casuals, bunch of gravless wonders if ever I saw them. 👿

      1. Jubilanus / BSC Small Boys …
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 15 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        rate my team please.

        heaton, robinson,
        evans, alonso, amat, lovren, claskstone
        hazard, sanchez, walcott, firm, cout,
        aguero, anichebe, austin

        1. Jubilanus / BSC Small Boys …
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 15 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          reply fail. sorry. so casual.

          1. A.T
            • 15 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            😀

        2. A.T
          • 15 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Awesome I have to say. 😀

          1. Jubilanus / BSC Small Boys …
            • Fantasy Football Scout Member
            • 15 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            Aguero to diamonde maybe?

            1. djenzio
              • 11 Years
              9 years, 2 months ago

              only if you TC him

              sorry forgot you was a noob...

              TC = Triple Captain

    4. AA33
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Let's make it two wins in a row guys! Go IHOP!

      • Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
        • 14 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Fresh from seeing off those out of shape Salad Dodgers, San Jose next go into battle with San Fran in a Derby match with both teams riding high with one win each.

        These Bulls are going to be wishing they didn't take to this particular field once we are done with them they already appear slightly confused with their hockey sticks in their gravs. This on paper looks a tough match and we will have to be at our very best if we want to come out on top here, there is no escaping that fact, infact some would say there is no escaping San Francisco full stop with Alcatraz situated in the bay.

        The fortune cookie was invented in San Francisco a quick snap revealed you will be leaving with 0 points from this game, Bulls Deep in trouble appears to be your destiny. San Jose Holebas have arrived in town and are ready to ride out this rodeo.

        1. djenzio
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          here here

      • Hooky
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Great write up and great start for us in the windy City. Time to blow Austin Powers (away) this week 😉

        1. Sjaugen
          • 10 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me

          1. Sjaugen
            • 10 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            😀
            Ops, maybe I should take a more critical look before I post the first/best Austin Powers quote I find 😐

            1. djenzio
              • 11 Years
              9 years, 2 months ago

              shagadelic

            2. Hooky
              • 10 Years
              9 years, 2 months ago

              Yeah baby!

      • John t penguin
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        who is this Hawaiian sid you talk about in the article?

        1. djenzio
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          surfs up dude

      • djenzio
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Looking forward to a thrilling local derby game this weekend.

      • cylus11 ( Manager) - Russia…
        • 14 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Good job Hawaiians. Tonight we shall have barbeque night with glass of white wine.
        And to top up with Heels over head out highest scorer will open the champagne bottle and make this night to remember. Yes our supporters will dance to the songs of Shakira, Madonna and Rihanna. Off to next spot on Saturday where Pancakes will be shown the exit against us. Bear in mind this is the start. We shall conquer the FCB Teams one by one.
        Cheers team and let's keep this steam up and running....

        1. Pirlø's Pen
          • 10 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          You'll be covered in Aunt Jemima's delicious syrup come Sunday.

        2. aaaaaa
          • 9 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          The Hawaiians are rocking it!! Next gwk also looking to completely thrash our opponent!!

          1. Morph - Unbelievable Geoff
            • 9 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            You could have at least used 'batter' instead of thrash.

      • John t penguin
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        as the dusk sets over the bible belt, the might raiders slowly back their long wooden instruments out of the polygamists darkening port (this joke is watching on catch up) . The team harmoniously begin their stroke at the edges of the inlet and build up a steady pace as the head towards their homeland. Captain cylus begins to chant the traditional Hawaiian rowing song that honours the great mountains and misty grey waters.
        "islands in the stream, that is what we are, sail away from here to another world....."
        (its in your heads now innit)
        the proud warriors arrive home late into the night, a night that is as dark as two in the morning. Waiting to greet them are the tribal elders, so the settle down to tell the story of their great journey.
        Cylus begins " we set sail to face the unknown (going by their lack of comments on ffs) tribe called polygamists or as they would be called in our language, upa mani pounpoun. We called upon the mighty god whatsapp to help us with our battle plans. Little did we know it wasn't worth it as our opponents were already -20 due to hits, seriously who starts a -8 over a 0? Of all the battles in this great war this will no doubt prove to be the easiest, so easy we chose to rest two of our strongest warriors. Plus we weren't too sure about playing someone with head in their name against the polygamists."
        Elder the eldest who was the most senior elder in the tribe since the death of great elder the old asked young warrior Wolves how they plan to fight their next opponents. " how do you plan to fight your next opponents?"
        Wolves was silent for what seemed like ages.
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        and then a bit longer
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        it was only then they realised he had actually fallen asleep from the jugijugi juice.
        So score answered for him. " I have looked into the great fire and foreseen the battle to come, it has shown me our warriors need not take any hits. We will be victorious through the gathering of the kane, and the enemy will be defeated. For no house made out of pancakes will remain standing."

        1. John t penguin
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          think I need to spell check better

          1. djenzio
            • 11 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            too much juhijugi juice for you my friend.

            1. djenzio
              • 11 Years
              9 years, 2 months ago

              for me too from the looks of it!

              1. John t penguin
                • 11 Years
                9 years, 2 months ago

                jugijugi can be spelt many ways in our language

                1. djenzio
                  • 11 Years
                  9 years, 2 months ago

                  can you smoke it?

                  us San Joseians prefer to smoke things you see

        2. Pirlø's Pen
          • 10 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          The proof will be in our score John Terry's Dog, a few of us have taken some hits indeed, it does not mean they will be in the starting 6. Might just not be anywhere to scoop your poop this week.

          1. John t penguin
            • 11 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            *pirlo opens his xmas present early and discovers 'the big book of online comebacks for 6 year old girls' 😉

            1. Pirlø's Pen
              • 10 Years
              9 years, 2 months ago

              Just saying, don't underestimate our pancakes

              1. John t penguin
                • 11 Years
                9 years, 2 months ago

                I will never take a pancake lightly
                well except the fluffy ones with low calorie cream ummhum

        3. Morph - Unbelievable Geoff
          • 9 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Careful, gathering the 'caine is what got Hibbert and Nidge in trouble last week.

      • Slam
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Nice update Cheese,
        hope we can continue to stay undefeated 😎

      • John t penguin
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        ihop sounds like a retro American school dance run by apple

        1. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
          • 14 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          It's hip hop for intelligent people

        2. Morph - Unbelievable Geoff
          • 9 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          What? You're talking jive.

          1. djenzio
            • 11 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            I think a dance-off is brewing

                1. John t penguin
                  • 11 Years
                  9 years, 2 months ago

                  If that had been a dancing pancake I would have given you the tie

      • RH7 - Steamer
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        We are clearly living in the Age of Steam here on FCB 😛

        1. Bazzalona
          • 14 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Oh yes.

        2. Sjaugen
          • 10 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          I was gonna make a joke about no toilet paper, but they sort of had it back then. Age of Steam is fine by me 😛

      • BabyB
        • 12 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Thanks for the update cheese.

        Unlucky hillbillies but appreciate the easy warmup game. Never want to start with difficult fixtures so your self and the phillistines seem the perfect opponents.

        1. djenzio
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          ouch

        2. Bazzalona
          • 14 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Naughty but nice!

        3. Adam West - Team Serbia for…
          • 15 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Losing to the biggest bunch of d*cks in the tournament is always disappointing . I can only hope a team with a little class beats you down the line .

          1. Adam West - Team Serbia for…
            • 15 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            😉

            1. BabyB
              • 12 Years
              9 years, 2 months ago

              😆

              Good luck for the rest of the tournament buddy.

              1. Adam West - Team Serbia for…
                • 15 Years
                9 years, 2 months ago

                Same mate 🙂

      • Bazzalona
        • 14 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Forget the Dream Team its time for the Steam Team.
        Go Cleveland.

      • Gussy
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Utah have had a group bonding session and are ready to come out firing this week! Better watch out!

        1. John t penguin
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          good see one of you turn up on here
          unlike our game 😉

          1. Gussy
            • 10 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            I turned up last week with a 53...clapped and cheered very hard from the bench :p

      • Rhinos
        • 12 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Was doing some research into the bulls next opponents and i found out that;

        1) With quick commutes, healthy lifestyles, and an extremely low poverty rate of less than 11 percent, San Jose is one of the top 10 least stressed cities in the country.

        This explains why they were able to see off the salad dodgers but the bulls will bring a whole new level of stress

        2) It’s illegal for animals to mate publically if they’re less than 1,500 feet from a church, school, or bar in San Jose.

        Probably explains why their training base is in the mountains

        1. Gothenburgsaints
          • 9 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Hi SF Bulls,

          I like the idea of you bringing more stress to the GW. Last round was just too easy. There is a fine line between low stress and just being bored. Now we face a winning team instead! And one with confidence!

          However, I just looked at the scores and I get the feeling you are like Capoue in the beginning of the season. You just got lucky and really have limited potential. 215 points is just 5 points more than the salad dodgers that we so easily beat. Please tell us that you are using your WCs this week so that it at least become interesting.

          1. Rhinos
            • 12 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            Lucky? We didn't even bother playing our highest scorer coz that's the way we roll

            1. Gothenburgsaints
              • 9 Years
              9 years, 2 months ago

              Sounds more promising!! Of course also indicates a crappy captain 😉

              1. LE GOD(C)-AMERICAN DYCHO-(1…
                • 11 Years
                9 years, 2 months ago

                Hey! we got off to a winning start didn't we! Just means team SFBD has a great squad.

                Good Luck fellas, looking forward to this one!

                1. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
                  • 14 Years
                  9 years, 2 months ago

                  My team mate is somewhat a wind up merchant ha ha. Think it will be a close game this one, I think you guys edge it for me this week though if I'm honest

      • Lord.
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        AUSTIN POWERS – INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MISERY

        The mood in the Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swingers Club was as flat as the drinks. It had all looked so different when Austin Powers accepted the mission to promote the beautiful game, and stop Fat Bast**d getting his hands on the Fantasy Chilli Bowl as a weapon of global environmental destruction. He dreamed of lazy days in Jamaica, Waikiki Beach and San Diego (casual baby), and long nights with those Utah cats, but Mission Command had sent him to the Group of Death.

        The transition from the late-Sixties had not gone well: an incident in the cryogenic tank had left Goldmember in intensive care; and a short-circuit in the reanimation process had impaired FPL neural functions, resulting in the disastrous decision to put the armband on Peter Marinello in GW12. Those gun-toting NRA lovers from Philly could not miss.

        Desperate measures were called for: Number Two had been dispatched to find a working WC; and in the lab Basil Exposition and his groovy Apprentice were finalising a new killer Stat, ‘Shots in the Executive Box’, but were struggling with poor service. Meanwhile, Jonnyleeds was calling his agent to find out when the transfer window opens. Teams were still taking promiscuous hits with no protection, and experimenting with mind blowing differentials, but they were all in Conference D.

        Glancing at the schedule, Austin saw that fate had dealt him another blow. There were only two things he was scared of: one was the FCB organising committee …… the other was the Chicago Bull Sitters.

        Was this the moment when Austin finally loses his mojo? There was only one thing left to do. Pressing the button marked ‘don’t even think about pressing this button baby’ and entering the release code ‘no really, this is definitely not your bag’, Austin ignored the klaxon signally the end of civilisation and declared: ‘ACTIVATE AGENT PUNCHEON.’

        1. John t penguin
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          I am giving you a plus 1 just for mentioning peter marinello. Motherwell ledge

        2. Bedknobs and Boomsticks
          • 16 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          😀

        3. J0E
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • Has Moderation Rights
          • 16 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Am I agent puncheon? 😉

          In which case deactivate me immediately 🙂

          1. Diva
            • 11 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            😆

        4. Hooky
          • 10 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Praise the lord!

      • John t penguin
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        not to be too picky but how do you get all star points when you didn't actually star in a game

        1. Cheeseoid
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 13 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          I think you deserve points just for showing up your managers ineptitude.

        2. ᶠᶦˡᵗʰʸLucre $$$
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          It was felt harsh to punish player for their captain's incompetence 😉

          1. John t penguin
            • 11 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            I thought that might add to the mix, having dilemma about benching someone in with a shout

      • VS10_
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Miami need to work their magic and bounce back this week.

      • jonnyleeds
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        The Hotel corridor is quiet, the sumptuous thick carpet hides the noise from the wheels on the trollies which are full of eggs, bacon and pastries being pushed by well dressed waiters. The smell of fresh food makes the stomachs in Room 513 groan. This is no normal hotel room as someone extremely important has been locked in there for weeks. 2 armed guards stand at the entrance to this room.

        "Hilary!"..shouted Rohann (Austin Powers Manager), "I didn't do a concession speech as well...but you have to leave this room!"

        "But Rohann...I never expected.." Hilary said tearfully.

        "Neither did I" interrupted an angry Rohann "but we hired this room and you really have to leave".

        The door opens and a smell of rotten kebabs, stale pizza, sweaty clothes hits the corridor with a thud. Hilary stumbles into the corridor, alarmed that she could be treated like this.

        "But Jonty....I can be Your Monica and you can be my Bill and..." the door slams shut and Jonty slides down the door, red faced and stares at the Austin Powers faces.

        "Anyone for more falafel, basil and goats cheese pizza...I know its a few days old and tastes a bit" but Jonty was interrupted mid sentence.

        "Right enough of this BS" shouted Rohann " we have to dust our selves down and get a grip"

        Rohann looks around the room. "Austin Powers, we were poor....I am Manager of the week and we lost big! Who we got next?"

        "BS" replied Jonnyleeds

        "What!, I will not take this abuse" shouted Rohann.

        "Boss, we have the Bull Sitters next"..added Shyam

        "No way, I have had Hilary all week and the last thing I need is for Trump and his team holed up in here all week." shouted Rohann..

        "Chicago Chicago" sings Belal

        "You are all crazy and unfit" Rohann shakes his head. "You all need to take a shower and clean up this mess"

        Rohann leaves the room into the corridor shouting "Hilary wait....I can be your Bill".

        The remaining members of Austin Powers look at each other...."Guess we are a mess" says Simen. "We need to be ready for the Chicago Bull Sitters".

        Jonnyleeds looks down into the avenue and sees Rohann climb into the long black limo with the US flags perched on either side of the front.

        "Seriously, this pizza"...

        "No more Jonty!" ...we need you in shape.

        1. Lord.
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Looks like we have a fix on where Fat Bast**d is holed up.

          1. jonnyleeds
            • Fantasy Football Scout Member
            • 11 Years
            9 years, 2 months ago

            lmao

      • 42towels
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        "Baseball, cold showers, baseball, cold showers. Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!"

        We're ready for Chicago! Yeah, baby.

        1. Lord.
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Behave!

        2. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
          • 14 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Admit it, not the first time you have thought about Margaret Thatcher naked

      • Bedknobs and Boomsticks
        • 16 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        Four Englishmen, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Greek and a Horse walk into a bar in Vegas.

        “Six Hurricanes and two buckets of fermented oats please barman.”

        “Right then lads.” said Kings of Lyon, his sporran resplendent in the neon lights, “That was one hell of a weekend on ‘the bench’. All I’m saying is that Rupert really is all horse, and I may never get rid of the smell of mayonnaise. How did we do in the tournament then? Given that you all bought and captained Brunt as per my instructions we must have won ‘bigly’ as they say over here?”

        “erm”
        “well”
        “you see”
        “about that”
        “ah”
        “neigh”

        “None of you captained him did you? I don’t know why I bother. What do we know about these New Yorkers then Boomsticks?”

        “Well,” replied Bedknobs, playing nervously with his feather bower and munching on a burger, “it seems they were founded in 1765 when the pilgrim fathers rebelled against good King George over a nice cup of tea. They erm….”

        “You haven’t done any scouting have you Bedknobs?”

        “I’m sorry Kol, but I’ve been doing 6 gigs a week and I can’t seem to stop eating. Athankyouverymuch.”

        “Looks like we’ll just have to wing it then lads and rely on the power of prayer, our large collection of guns, and the spiritual might of Jose Holebas. And JK, why do you keep saying ‘neigh’?”

        “I quite agree.” said Rupert. “What is that all about?”

        1. Gothenburgsaints
          • 9 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          You could do much worse than relying on Holebas magic. I see great things in your near future.

        2. Rupert The Horse
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 12 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Love it.

        3. JK - Cønt ⭐
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 14 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          Why do I keep saying Neigh? I have absolutely Neigh idea and let's be honest neighther do you

      • ᶠᶦˡᵗʰʸLucre $$$
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 2 months ago

        I thought you guys were all nuts last week, but you have taken it to a new level this week - bravo! 😀

        1. J0E
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • Has Moderation Rights
          • 16 Years
          9 years, 2 months ago

          This is the most surreal bantz I've ever experienced in years of community management.

          Keep up the good work 🙂