Gameweek 14’s record of anti-social behaviour can only begin in one place – the bear pit that was The Etihad.
Sergio Aguero (13.0) kick-started the Man City v Chelsea rumpus by expressing his long-held antipathy towards David Luiz (6.1) through the medium of the airborne two-footed lunge.
That has earned him a winter break all of his own.
Aguero will now miss the next four Gameweeks. In addition to the usual three matches (for what Pep Guardiola downplayed as a ‘strong’ but unintentional challenge), he was handed an extra one-match ban for having previous – his retrospective punishment for elbowing Winston Reid in the Gameweek 3 win over West Ham.
As Aguero will now be unavailable until a New Year’s Eve trip to Liverpool, the ownership exodus is most definitely both strong and intentional among Fantasy Premier League managers.
Over half a million have already ditched the Argentinian, freeing up all the funds they’ll ever need to replace him with in-form forwards and big ticket midfielders for the festive season.
Fernandinho’s (5.4) prolonged disagreement with Cesc Fabregas (6.9) following Aguero’s air show earned him a three-match suspension. He’ll miss a trip to Leicester and then home fixtures with Watford and Arsenal before being available for Gameweek 18’s match at Hull on, appropriately enough, Boxing Day.
The Brazilian is only owned by 1.8% of FPL managers, but his and Aguero’s indiscretions will put increased pressure on Guardiola’s squad just as the season gets insanely busy – and that could have major ramifications for managers owning other City assets.
A yellow card for Nicolas Otamendi (5.9) didn’t grab the headlines in the same way that Fernandinho grabbed Fabregas’ throat, but it meant he falls off the Tightrope and will miss the Leicester match.
That will hardly ease the burden on City’s already thinly stretched defensive resources, and the lengthy absence of key players higher up the pitch further complicates the rotation conundrum Guardiola now faces.
How he legislates for the loss of Aguero will become more apparent in the tactics and personnel he employs at the King Power. But throw in five matches in 20 days from December 14, and investment in his players suddenly looks like risky business.
On a bad weekend for Argentinians, Watford midfielder Roberto Pereyra (6.0) was given a straight red card for a tussle with James McClean (5.0) in the 3-1 loss at The Hawthorns.
He’ll now miss Saturday’s home match with Everton but will be free to return after that encounter after Watford were successful with their appeal to the FA earlier today, reducing his three-match ban to just one match.
Leicester City’s Danny Drinkwater (5.3 and 4.5%-owned) remains unavailable until Gameweek 16 after his retrospective ban, while Hull City’s Dieumerci Mbokani (5.5) won’t be available until the match after that following his straight red for a head-butt in the EFL Cup quarter-final.
Three defenders made their way onto the Tightrope.
Leicester’s 7.6%-owned Christian Fuchs (5.4) picked up his third straight caution, while Swansea’s budget boy Jordi Amat (4.1) conceded five goals and received his fourth booking of the season in the shellacking by Spurs.
Watford’s Miguel Britos (4.4) missed the loss at West Brom after seeing red in Gameweek 13, but he’s straight back on the tightrope courtesy of the four yellows he’d previously picked up.
Our weekly hymn to Diego Costa (10.7) continues to revolve around the feisty Spaniard’s new-found taste for restraint. While Luiz was being disembowelled and Fabregas was carefully checking when exactly he could fall over some advertising hoardings, Diego was already off the pitch having gone eight matches in England without being cautioned.
If he can manage another five clean outings, his card count will be reset as part of the league’s New Year armistice. All four of his bookings this season have been for dissent, which suggests that Costa has finally learned just to walk the walk.
Still snuggling up to Diego on the wire of woe are: Chelsea’s entirely-innocent-at-The-Etihad David Luiz; Aleksandar Kolarov (5.8) ; Jason Puncheon (5.3); Danny Simpson (4.9); Craig Dawson (4.8); Robert Huth (5.0); Jan Vertonghen (5.7); Lynden Gooch (4.4); Ryan Shawcross (4.9); Didier Ndong (4.8); Billy Jones (4.4); Antonio Valencia (5.4), Kyle Naughton (4.5); Dean Marney (4.5); Matthew Lowton (4.5); Steven Pienaar (4.9) and Michail Antonio (6.8).
Back from a stretch in the slammer are Wayne Rooney (8.6), who hit the five-card mark in last week’s EFL Cup tie and so missed Gameweek 14, Valon Behrami (4.5), and Yohan Cabaye (5.6).
The Men In Black
Three referees pointed to the spot over the weekend to up their penalties per game average: Michael Oliver (0.58); Robert Madley (0.45) and a first in the top-flight this year for Jonathan Moss (0.09).
That leaves just three officials still to give a Premier League penalty this season. Craig Pawson is top of that decidedly frugal tree as the other two, Paul Tierney and Stuart Atwell, succumbed to temptation and awarded one in the EFL Cup.
Promoting Pawson’s particularly praiseworthy propensity for penalty paucity further, he’s officiated in nine matches to the duo’s three.
The main beneficiaries of spot-kick awards remain Leicester and Liverpool, with the pair now joined by Spurs on five for the season.
Everton scored their first at the weekend, much to the joy of Jose Mourinho, which leaves Middlesbrough as the only team not to have netted one, or, indeed ,to have even been awarded one.
Crystal Palace are still the only side yet to give away a penalty, but they’ve found any number of other ways to cough up the 26 goals conceded thus far.
