Pundits playoff Matchweek 1 approaches aka GW 9

Superb! Huge thank you to you Boris and team for organising this, you've done an amazing, amazing job.

Good luck to all the teams!

Superb work Boris and team. Well done and a big thanks to you all. These tournaments add flavour to the otherwise normal fpl game. Love it.

The team announcement/subs and h2h needs to be updated by captains on the sheet or a mail needs to be sent to the committee.

Also points have to be updated by us or will be done by committee like previous similar tourneys?

Great work Boris!
Time to thrash the BSC Boys! Excited!

Thanks to Boris & team for organising. Multi manager events like this make FPL even more fun than it is already.

And nice to be bid on by such a great team - cheers Tets. Looking forward to it.

Great stuff Boris 🙂

Is there a sheet with all this year's fixtures on them?

Unbelievable Jeff!
Great competition, thanks for all the work.

Now that the excitement of the draft is over its time to swap spreadsheets for the sharp end of a keyboard and prepare for battle. Draftees will be wondering whether the cheques will clear on their signing on fees; who will be joining them in the trenches; and whether they will be led by Captain America or Mr Bean. If you are Waldo666, Steve, Spatburgunder, The Tinkerman or Slasher, it’s time to light a cigar and crack open your beverage of choice: when you win the glory is all yours, but if it does go wrong you can Blame it on Rio. And it’s not just Rio who’s got your back. Check this lot out:

Riddermorten: Yes it’s Morten the Knight and he’s about to land on a shore-line near you and is looking for blood. Wild Cards bounce off him and he eats Chips for breakfast. Lock up your differentials.

Step Rovers: Our high-priced resident globe-trotter, he’s delivered green arrows in five different time zones and doesn’t mind who he has to step over to do it. Be very afraid.

Proudmore: Fresh from starring in Warcraft III, this guy doesn’t take prisoners and is ready to feast on Community Pundits. His favourite food is Hamsters, and he hasn’t had his dinner yet.

Captain Kakaroto: Trained in clinical psychology so we’ve put him in charge of mind games and treating casualties for Post Red Arrow Stress Disorder. I’ve been in therapy for three weeks.

Oddjobleff: Not to be confused with the Bond villain, this Oddjob will dispatch you painlessly with a scientific approach that has no antidote. Check out his FPL record and don’t mess with him.

The Overthinker: Already a team legend, The Overthinker is raring to go and has almost finished finalising his squad for GW1. We’ve also put him in charge of witty retorts on FFScout.

FP Elephant: An FPL legend who needs no introduction, and is already monitoring our game-time minutes and travel plans. He’s also a Hammers fan, which is probably where all that Rio love comes from.

MIR: Another FPL legend! MIR celebrated designing a H2H league for 6000 FPL Managers by painting the Forth Bridge and repointing the Great Wall of China, but now he’s ready for a real challenge. Just don’t ask him how his own H2H team is doing.

Geevious: What can I say about this guy? First Community tournament and straight in with the mantelpiece of captaincy (as Rio would say), with lashings of encouragement, team spirit and great organisation. He should have been tucked up in bed during the draft but instead he was whooping and hollering with the rest of us as his masterly draft picks came in. Captain Genius.

Lord: Don’t know much about him; probably one of those affirmative action appointments. Good fallback if blaming Rio doesn’t work.

And, of course, none of this would be possible without Rio. It really is all his fault.

Nirvana Scott Talent dancing their way to victory.
Great Stuff Boris and the team, much appreciated.

At your service Capt. Jarvish.
-8 this week, I expect benching duties. 🙂

The voting for the Team Name and Avatar seems to be rigged (allegedly). Voting has stopped at 40 votes, and we can no longer vote for anybody. When we went on yesterday Slaven already had 11 votes. COLLUSION!

Think it needs a rejig.

Looking forward to the opening matches! As the glorious, all-knowing pundit Michael Owen once said, “in finals, you either pick up a trophy or you don’t”. Truer words have ne’er been spoken. Here’s hoping we can lift the trophy for our lovely, mustached idol

An away game, the first match of the season, was not what Holly’s Hamsters had hoped for. They still had £5 left to raise for the statue of their idol, Ian Holloway, a statuesque man in real life who had inspired this old circus act into a real team of footballers. How on earth would they get to the opposition’s ground to play Blame It On Rio FC with no money for transport? But the Hamsters were no strangers to adversity.
Everyone had laughed when they first burst onto the scene, but that soon died down to light hearted chuckles after they beat Rodent Rovers FC to the Small Mammals Cup. Then when Holly’s Hamsters came back from behind to win the European Trophy despite being the under-hamsters against the All Black-Bellies, the chuckles became sneers. But after beating the Chinese Stripes to get to the semi-final of the World Cup for Escaped Pets, things started to get nasty. Holly’s Hamsters first claim to fame were their abnormally sized appendages, it was true, but never had they used their Darwinian blessings to gain advantage on the pitch. Sure, having all the does a hamster can handle was great, but Holly’s Hamsters wanted to be taken seriously for their footballing ability. Then came the infamous ‘Member of God’ goal in the final. Their top striker Nino, who at 7 inches was the least encumbered ‘member’ of the team quickly spun off the last defender to receive a long ball, whipping his body around and in so doing unwittingly burst asunder, catching the ball unintentionally to tap it over the keepers head in the final minute of the game. Their opponents, the Water Vole Wanderers, kicked off a huge protest to the poor referee, who ended up sending the whole team off for dissent, thus awarding the win by default to the Hamsters, who had actually been 2-0 behind before their ‘wonderschlong’ goal as it became known in the Gerbil Gazette. But that was last season, and now it was a new chance for glory.

“Don’t worry chaps,” opined Toblerone52, who used a rubber band to keep his hairy serpent wrapped around his waist, “I have a plan, as long as Boris comes through for us.”
RJCV177 adjusted his specially fitted finger puppet to get to an itch, and announced, “as long as we get there, we will win. I feel it in my...”
“BOSS!”, screamed Vobinho, running into the training ground with his permanently fixed roller skate trailing behind him, “Boris is stuck in jail....again!”. “CURSE THAT WELL HUNG HAMSTER”, cried Toblerone52, “WILL HE NEVER LEARN?!”

Will Holly’s Hamsters make it to the match in time to prevail over BIOR FC? What did Boris do this time? Which three team members (tee-hee) will be unleashed in the three H2Hs? Until the next update....

Reports are coming in of a rodent infestation in Ferdinandland. Rio the rat catcher is on the case.

We've been having to watch Gnu's drag act and it isn't pretty.

Matchweek 1 in the pundits playoff will get underway tomorrow morning. Team Managers are getting their line ups together as we speak, and have to submit them at 10:30 AM. The line ups will be revealed at 11:30 AM precisely (might actually be 11:31 AM thinking about it).

This is the link to the Live Scores sheet, where you can enter your own scores: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsvPBp2KQySzWZdleYbWvuMDDpReTXBSdp-xTQQToSw/edit?usp=sharing

Please don't be silly peops by over typing scores of other teams/players with made up ones!

Good luck to all teams, really looking forward to seeing the match ups. Now back to seducing the DUP round to my way of thinking....bwaah!

Are Alan Brazil's nuts mightier than Lawro's b*llocks? Team's locked and loaded here, 8 wildcards, 3 bench boosts, 5 free hits and 6 all out attacks, I swear 🙂 🙂

Looks like it's gonna be tight games across the board.

Unbelievable Jeff and Slaven are neck n neck

Again, Well done Boris B.

Lordy, need Man U to score to give me a chance against Lord Tachanka.
I'm goosed 🙂

I suspect Geevious has the beating of me in our H2H. 3 bonus points to Blame It On Rio most likely.

Nirvana Scott Talent v When the Owen gets Tough

By my calculations, the current position after autosubs and cancellings-out is as follows:

NST = Salah x 3, Robertson x 2, Firmino, Matip; Lundstram, Auba, Ceballos

WTOGT = 27 points + James, Mane x 2, VVD x 2; Pepe, Saka.

Nirvana Scott Talent v When the Owen gets Tough

By my calculations, the new position after autosubs and cancellings-out is as follows:

NST = Lundstram x 2, Auba, Ceballos

WTOGT = 15 points + Pepe, Saka.

The Keane Fifteen vs BSC

By our calculations, after auto-subs and cancellations

TKF=30+Auba*3+Henderson*2
BSC=Ceballos*2+Pepe+Lundstram

For 3 bonus, Lundstram + Auba vs 9
For 2 bonus, 1 + Lundstram vs Auba
For 1 bonus, Auba vs 1

All that can save the Hamsters from defeat against Blame It On Rio is a Lundstram red card and an Auba blank.

Well played BIOR FC, we'll meet again!!!!

Are any other matches dependent on Aubameyang vs Lundstram?

Slaven's Ball-Itch vs Unbelievable Jeff FC:

Overall: 2x Auba -vs- Saka, Henderson, 2x Lund, 25pts
H2H-A: Auba -vs- 9pts
H2H-B: 5pts -vs- Lund
H2H-C: Lund vs 15pts

SBI 2-13 UJFC - as it stands.

It would likely take 3 attacking returns from Auba for Slaven to win.
We need Auba < 9pts, Lund 6-14pts for a clean-sweep.

Hi Boris, are hits taken into account? We're playing a chap with 32 points, one hit taken.
So, safe to say he's on 28 points?

When is the next article on this due?

Is this the place I'm supposed to be waving my Scott Talent Pom Poms?

I think maybe I'll have to put them back in the box.............Slinks off quietly!