Regular listener Andy Wilkinson (Stoke City FC) was missing the ScoutCast and “Granny’s Miffed” so much, he guaranteed its return with his injury time contribution on Tuesday night.

So here we are back on the podcast airwaves, with Mark desperately fighting off his Wildcard twitch to avoid hitching a ride on the speeding Berbatov bandwagon. As for myself, I prefer my transport a little slower and fall back to chat to the purveyor of a couple of scabby flee-infested donkeys trailing behind.

“Ah good afternoon sir we have a right pair to offer you today. This middle-aged grey, we call him our “Shaaavin”, he’s a little temperamental and won’t always deliver you to your destination. Next to him we have bushy-eared “Cole”, a lively nag in his youth but too often affected by little niggles and desperate lunges.”

“Right, thanks; I think I’ll walk.”

Meanwhile, third wheel Andy takes a leaf from the Shearer book of punditry, by confirming that DJ Campbell is “good”. Pure genius. Two ScoutCasts under his belt and he’s already fitting in.

The three of us then up the banality of a “Fantasy Island Risk” boat journey and pick teams for 5-a-side beach football. It might be “rush keepers” but bagsie not in goal.

Grab this latest garbled nonsense right here and search out previous episodes via this link.

Or stream it here from the comfort of FFS towers