The Pre-Match Preamble – Gameweek 4

Today isn’t make or break for myself and Robin, but it’s certainly a test of our marriage. I’ve laid myself bare, risked sanity and the foundations of my season to commit to the Dutchman. Today, I’m expecting some payback.

This should only be a first installment, too. After the date with Palace and a potentially barren “weekend away” in Manchester, I’m fully expecting Robin to treat me. There are surely lavish gifts in awaiting me when West Brom, Sunderland, Southampton and Stoke form an orderly queue from Gameweek six. I’ve put my cards on the table; it’s time that faith was repaid.

Of course I’m wary of what others say. They’ll be jealous glances but mainly murmurs that I’ve taken on too much and that Robin is just high maintenance luxury who will break my heart and leave me high and dry, facing weeks of recovery.

I’ve heard it all before. I knew the risks when I took him back. In the end, I have to admit, I got lost in the memories of the good times – that unlikely hat-trick at Stamford Bridge, two years ago now, still lingers to drown out any doubts.

Today will go some way to telling me if I’ve made a dreadful mistake. Like I say, it won’t make or break us, but failure will have me look on Robin with renewed suspicion. If I get nothing back, I’ll know I’ll spend the next fortnight pondering if I’ve been taken in.

There are, of course, alternatives. In fact, if the papers are to be believed, they may even be right under my nose.

For starters, both Nani and Shinji Kagawa are tipped to feature alongside Van Persie against Ian Holloway’s men to quell my fears that there is no other option in the United ranks.

Nani’s ascent from forgotten man to wing prospect, both in the Old Trafford camp and in the Fantasy community, has been sudden. This morning, the Sun, the Mail and the Telegraph all tip Nani’s unpredictable talents to be unleashed on Palace. All three sources also go with Kagawa up in support of Van Persie as the press are split on David Moyes’ likely lineup. According to some, there’s even a chance that Rooney will rear his damaged head after his recovery from Phil Jones’ failed attempt at training ground lobotomy.

Elsewhere, the Times are the only paper to tip Edin Dzeko to retain his City starting role at Stoke – predictably, the others, in the main, go with a first league start for Alvaro Negredo.

Samir Nasri is widely tipped to be drafted in to fill the void left by David Silva’s absence. The Frenchman starts in every predicted lineup, aside from the Mail who opt for hopelessly unexciting James Milner. Notably, Milner is also in the Guardian’s lineup, as they go with a 4-5-1 with Sergio Aguero the lone striker.

Mersut Ozil will get his debut according to the lineups, although it should be noted that the Mail again disagree here – they omit the German, perhaps with the benefit of publishing that little bit later with the information that Ozil was on the blink.

Interestingly, the Mail, clear mavericks when it comes to the morning teamsheets, have also left Eden Hazard out of the Chelsea lineup. Cause unknown, they go with Juan Mata and Willian, while Mikel also makes a bizarre appearance with no sign of Frank Lampard for the visit to Goodison. A clear winner of the day’s “do they know something we don’t” award.

There’s little reason to engage panic mode, however. Sanity is restored in the rest of the Chelsea lineups, with Hazard safely installed. Only the Telegraph join the Mail in tipping Willian for a first start against the Toffees.

That leaves Daniel Sturridge, who not surprisingly, turns up in all this morning’s predicted lineups for Monday night’s visit to the Liberty. All except one.

Again, the Mail have to be different. Perhaps informed by the same inside sources that convinced them to omit Hazard and Lampard, they feel that Sturridge’s thigh problem will keep him sidelined to calm the controversy over his England absence. They go with Iago Aspas leading the attack, with Raheem Sterling given a first start on the right.

Staying with Liverpool, notably, Andre Wisdom is included in every one of this morning’s lineups, in for the stricken Glen Johnson. The press remain split on the partner for Dan Agger, however. Half go with a recall for Kolo Toure, while both the Sun, Guardian and the Mail opt for Martin Skrtel. Interestingly, the Telegraph tip an unlikely debut for Mamadou Sakho.

The papers scoured, I can now settle back, prepare breakfast, and wait for Robin to show his face. He’ll play his part in what is undoubtedly an uncomfortable re-acquaintance with Fantasy football for us all.

We could have done with a nice neutral fixture; Aston Villa and Newcastle would have been pleasant. Instead, Robin and the 12.45 ride has us back on the roller-coaster with a front seat view. Half of us with excited expectations, the other half with eyes clamped shut, screams at the ready. I’m currently the former. By three o’clock, I could be the latter.