Gameweek 15 had plenty of goals, no red cards and a flurry of fallers from, and joiners to, the Suspension Tightrope.
Yellow-carding his way to a midweek ban was the 6.2%-owned Antonio Valencia (5.4).
The Man United defender’s indiscretion against Spurs had a touch of serendipity about it for his 266,000+ ownership base. It means he’ll sit out a trip to free-scoring Crystal Palace (10 goals in their last three fixtures) and then return for visits to the Wests both Bromwich and Ham and home matches against Sunderland and Middlesbrough before January’s FA Cup break.
Sunderland’s trip to Swansea City proved that there ain’t no party like an S Club party, although Didier Ndong (4.8) will have to stop movin’ for Wednesday’s visit by Chelsea after fetching himself a fifth yellow of the season.
Jason Puncheon (5.2), Danny Simpson (4.9), and Craig Dawson (4.8) will also sit out Gameweek 16 following weekend cautions.
The strain on the Tightrope wasn’t exactly eased by those flinging themselves from it as an even bigger influx of miscreants leapt on to the pre-punishment perch.
Two Chelsea players picked up their fourth cautions of the season – N’Golo Kante (4.7) and Nemanja Matic (5.1), owned by 13.4% and 4.4% respectively.
They join team-mates Diego Costa (10.9) and David Luiz (6.1) on the sturdy string of shame just as the Blues embark on a four-match run involving Sunderland and Palace away and Bournemouth and Stoke at the Bridge.
If Costa features, and remains guilt-free, in those fixtures, he’ll have his past sins wiped out – an event that would delight the 51.8% of Fantasy Premier League managers who have now bought into this unlikely story of redemption.
Just behind Chelsea for Tightrope hoggers are Spurs, who brought two new players to the brink in Sunday’s defeat at Old Trafford.
FPL’s most popular defender, Kyle Walker (6.1 and 37.1%), and the 3.3%-owned Victor Wanyama (4.8) joined Jan Vertonghen (5.7) on the naughty step. The 8.8%-owned Belgian has been flirting with a ban for six Gameweeks now and his ownership figures have remained relatively static as a result.
Two other same-club pairs were shown their fourth yellows at the weekend – Bournemouth’s Harry Arter (5.0) and Dan Gosling (4.7) and Middlesbrough pair Antonio Barragan (4.5) and Adam Clayton (4.3), who picked up his third caution in five Gameweeks.
Oriol Romeu (4.5) and James McArthur (5.0) are the other new rope-botherers, the Palace midfielder making it back-to-back bookings in the 3-3 thriller at Hull.
Still ensconced on the wire of woe are: Aleksandar Kolarov (5.8); Robert Huth (4.9); Lynden Gooch (4.3); Ryan Shawcross (4.9); Billy Jones (4.4); Kyle Naughton (4.5); Dean Marney (4.5); Matthew Lowton (4.5); Steven Pienaar (4.9), Christian Fuchs (5.3); Jordi Amat (4.1); Christian Benteke (7.7); Miguel Britos (4.4) and Michail Antonio (6.7).
Back from bans are Nicolas Otamendi (5.9), whose one-stretch coincided with Man City’s worst defensive display of the season, and Danny Drinkwater (5.3), who has finally completed a three-match sojourn for giving Valon Behrami (4.5) the elbow. Watford midfielder Roberto Pereyra (6.0) also returns for the trip to the Etihad having had his initial three-match term reduced.
Still carving the days on their cell walls are Sergio Aguero (13.0), who has three more matches to miss for that tackle, and his team-mate Fernandinho (5.4), who will sit out the next two fixtures before potentially returning for a Boxing Day trip to Hull, which seems like a punishment in itself.
Talking of the Tigers, striker Dieumerci Mbokani (5.5) won’t be available until the weekend as he serves his final match for the straight red his EFL Cup headbutt incurred.
The Men In Black
If red cards were remarkable by their absence from Gameweek 15, penalties continued to accrue at record levels.
Four spot-kicks were awarded over the weekend, which means we’re up to 53 for the season, at a best/worst-ever level of 0.35 per game.
Mike Jones pointed to the spot twice at Hull, most notably rewarding a notorious pike with two twists from Robert Snodgrass (5.6). He’s now given three penalties in his last two matches, following seven previous blanks, to up his average to 0.33.
Lee Mason has also awarded three in his last two, boosting his average to 0.63 from five penalties in eight fixtures, while Craig Pawson broke a nine-match habit to give his first of the season in Swansea’s win over Sunderland.
Finally, Tottenham’s Danny Rose (5.9), who has already served a Gameweek 13 suspension for five yellows, picked up his sixth booking at Old Trafford.
Nothing unusual there, until the role of Robert ‘Bobby’ Madley is factored in.
Madley’s caution of Rose on Sunday was the third time he’s booked the Spurs left-back this season. It might not be personal, but Bobby has now proved the age-old Christmas adage that it’s better to give than to receive.
