634x258 Community Submissions
11 December 2015 529 comments
Cheeseoid Cheeseoid
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Gameweek 3 saw some exciting progress across the qualifying groups . We are now starting to get a real idea of which teams will be going through to the next stage of the tournament and who might fall at the qualifying stage. Nobody has been knocked out yet but a few nations are now on thin ice.

Gameweek 3 Review

The average team score for this week was 300 points. There were some close ties in the CONMEBOL region this week which kept us all guessing. In particular was the match between Peru and Ecuador, with the Peruvians  narrowly edging out a win by one point, which ended 302 and 301 respectively. The ties of Brazil v Bolivia, Tahiti v Bhutan, Mexico v Jamaica and Zambia v Tanzania were all decided by a margin of less than 5 points.

The biggest win of the week was for the Cayman Islands who beat Canada by a whopping 84 points in a match that ended 309 to 225.

Costa Rica, India, Singapore, Wales, Netherlands and Zambia are all maintaining a 100% record but these teams are not safe and sound yet.

In contrast, things are starting to look tricky for Brazil, USA, Barbados, UAE, Sri Lanka, France, San Marino and Ivory Coast who all still maintain a 100% record of losing. Again, your future is still in your  hands at this point but you all need to start winning!

The Luckiest Team Award goes to Zambia, who scraped a win with only 275 points (25 points below average) and left them top of their group with a 100% record.

The Unluckiest Team Award goes to Italy, who lost their tie against Israel despite scoring a whopping 329 points. This would have been enough to win all but 6 ties this week.

The Worst Benching Decision goes to the game between San Marino and Iceland. This match was an example of how not to decide your bench with the 2 highest scoring benches of the week. San Marino benched Spectrum and his whopping 70 points. If Sess! had been benched instead, they would have won the match! Their opponents Iceland benched their own monster haul as Gilli Gold racked up the highest bench total of the week at 77 points.

Meanwhile, the Presser Award for Gameweek 3 Goes to Johnny Orphan from team Poland for his excellent take on Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”.

I would also like to give an honourable mention to Diva, who as a member of FIFFSA, is not eligible for the award but every week comes up with fantastic press conferences which enlighten the world into the inside workings of FIFFSA and team Seychelles.

Keep the pressers up! There are so many excellent contributors which have yet to win awards.If you haven’t submitted one before why not submit one this week? We are still waiting for Iceland to submit one based upon a Peter Andre advert!

Gameweek 4 Preview

There are lots of exciting ties upcoming this week and some teams should be able to secure their spots in the first round proper of the tournament.

Eyecatching fixtures fixtures include a make or break tie for pointless USA against the competition’s top scorers  Costa Rica.

Another interesting tie is Zambia versus the Ivory Coast. Zambia are the only team in the CAF region with a 100% record whereas Ivory coast have yet to register a point. However,  things are closer than they appear as Ivory Coast have only scored 2 less than Zambia over the duration of the tournament and must feel quite aggrieved to be without a win.

In Uefa group C there is a must win clash between San Marino and Republic of Ireland, with San Marino languishing at the foot of the table without a win. It is also an important match for Republic of Ireland as they have only got 4 points so far. This is a real 6 pointer at this stage of qualification.

A more detailed summary of this can be found on the player history tab which includes the rank history of every player in the tournament at our team sheets and tables spreadsheet.

Housekeeping

Firstly, we would like to clear something up as there has been a degree of confusion across our articles which came  to light this week. It was stated  in our article that the auto subbing policy would automatically bench the sixth player of each team if we did not hear from the respective team’s Captain/Vice Captain before the deadline. However, our charter states that your previous week’s benched player will be benched. This was an administrative error and I thought it best to resolve it this week.

As the sixth player was perceived to be the auto benched player, we will continue in this fashion and amend the charter respectively.

Secondly, we would like to address the matter of the deadline for submitting in your substitute. This is 2300 GMT on the Friday night. We are still receiving many mails after this time so please be punctual. This is due to the fact that, as we start adding substitutes to the spreadsheet, which all teams have access to, any late submissions could potentially have an unfair advantage.

Any future substitutions sent  to us after 2300 GMT will not be accepted and your 6th player will be benched. No Exceptions!

Further Information

A quick reminder of the format. Each Gameweek teams will pick a team of five players to go head to head with their opposite nation. The match will then be decided by the aggregate score of each teams’ Gameweek scores after hits have been accounted for. This week’s games can be found here.

Captains are required to submit their team sheets to fiffsa.exec@gmail.com by 2300 (GMT) by the Friday of each Gameweek otherwise their sixth player will be automatically benched.

Live scorecards will be up shortly before the early kick-off on Saturday at our score centre spreadsheet.

If you have any further queries, feel free to ask below in the comments or email us at: fiffsa.exec@gmail.com

Enjoy the tournament; this is the FIFFSA 5-A-Side World Cup. Accept no imitations.

As a final request, please do try and keep FIFFSA 5-A-Side chat to the comment sections of our articles.

The FIFFSA Executive Committee – President Sepp Balders, VP BabyB, VP Jaffalicious!, VP Diva, VP Blue Lion and Secretary General Jerome Cheeseoid.

529 Comments Login to Post a Comment
  1. John t penguin
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    welcome to Scotland
    free haggis

    1. DOG GOD IT - KEANE 15
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Err thanks but no thanks

    2. Danno - Emre Canada
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Just about to make haggis sausage rolls coincendently

  2. John t penguin
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Any future substitutions sent to us after 2300 GMT will not be accepted and your 6th player will be benched. No Exceptions!

    does this suggest that past game weeks have been accepting late submissions
    I have been told by an insider that the team is USA
    I demand all their points be removed

    1. Jaffalicious! #SomosCubanos
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Team Scotland are now under investigation for possessing insider information 😛

      1. Ziro Becomes One
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        😆

      2. John t penguin
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        alas the person was from inside the local off licence

    2. Skipdipper
      • 14 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Scandal. Bribery. Corruption.

      1. Diva
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        😯

  3. Nisheda
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Good luck to all the teams this week, hoping to keep this winning run going. Tough match this week though!

  4. Jaffalicious! #SomosCubanos
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Good job Cheesoid! 😎

    1. Cheeseoid
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Thanks for the help.

  5. ᶠᶦˡᵗʰʸLucre $$$
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Tahiti have a 100% record too btw 😉

  6. Lateriser 12
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 13 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    The only thing good about Canada is Robin Sherbotsky.

    1. Sjaugen
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      You take that back. Canada raised Justin Bieber

      1. Ziro Becomes One
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        Ban for Canada.

      2. Skipdipper
        • 14 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        B@stards !

    2. DOG GOD IT - KEANE 15
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Molsons aint bad either

    3. JK - Cønt ⭐
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 14 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      au contraire

      Robin Sherbatasky and Wayne Gretzky

      Barney Stinson was half Canadian

  7. Spectrum-FFS Doubles Champ
    • 14 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Thanks for the reminder boys 😉

    1. John t penguin
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      didn't even notice you hadn't got any points yet.

      1. Colonel Wasabi
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 12 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        😉

    2. Cheeseoid
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Not to late to start winning!

  8. Akeem
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Team UAE has 24-hours to find a room at the top of an Emirati burj and hide in it, the loyal sons of the Democratic Republic of Korea will show you capitalists no mercy come kick-off time 😈

  9. Grand Maester Juan
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Caymans have got the biggest margin of victories in last 2 gameweeks !! Next up are the spicy Mexicans !! Get ready Mexicanos

    1. John t penguin
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      you should get Donald trump to do motivational speech

  10. John t penguin
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    where has blue lion gone

    1. Cheeseoid
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Busy chasing a gazelle.

    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Our press conference has been cancelled this week due to low morale of the team after second defeat in the tournament. Closed training sessions and no interaction with the media this week are supposed to help us focus more on our important game against Finland. Things get complicated if we lose...

    #NaZawszePolska #MocniRazem

    1. Skipdipper
      • 14 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      For once Germany stands with you on this viewpoint!
      Win or bust!

  11. Skogen89
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Who to bench?

    A) Mharez

    B) Coutinho

    C) Vardy

    1. Woy of the Wovers
      • 15 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Probably one of those three. Or maybe another mid.

  12. Gooner97
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Forza Italia!

  13. Depay Time
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    this week's highest scorers Egypt with 354 points
    we shouldve got a mention?
    anyway
    look out Tanzania..

  14. Depay Time
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    this week's highest scorers Egypt with 354 points
    we shouldve got a mention?
    anyway
    look out Tanzania..
    #Come_on_you_egyptians

    1. Cheeseoid
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Hmm. I thought I mentioned that.

      Sorry I agree. Deserved a mention.

      1. Depay Time
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        no issues man...
        Great article 🙂

  15. tets mcgee (Ha La Land)
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    the best pressers arent linked... any1 have the links i like to read em.

    1. Diva
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Here's the award winner and the others are on that page and the next couple of pages after it: http://www.fantasyfootballscout.co.uk/comment/12008071

  16. A.T
    • 15 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Police have quelled fears of trouble at this weekends Norn Ireland v Wales match as an Orange parade has been banned. Apparently the scouse hen party is now looking at Blackpool as an alternative location.

    Wah wah wahhhhh *slow trombone* 🙁

  17. A.T
    • 15 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    A diplomatic catastrophe was was narrowly avoided at the pre match meal as the The Queen outstretched her hand and said "Martin ma Guiness"
    "No Mam" he replied, "It's Martin Mcguiness"
    "Just pass us me pint ffs" continued Her Majesty.

    I'll stop now 🙂

    1. John t penguin
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      breaking news
      Police have arrested athletico timboyo for the theft of frank carsons joke book

      1. A.T
        • 15 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        🙁

  18. Admiral Stark
    • 15 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Executive committee, you have mail!

  19. Ziro Becomes One
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Team Ecuador reporting to FIFFSA HQ.

    A top-secret document has been delivered to HQ, please confirm receipt in unopened condition.

  20. Torreslove
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 14 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Sri Lanka press release:

    We have had a horrible start to the tournament. 3 losses in 3 games does not do justice to our team's capabilities. However, there is still hope. Wins in the rest of our games should be enough to get us through.

    We went in to the qualifying round high on confidence. Having comfortably won against Djibouti in the pre-tournament friendly, we were sure we would qualify. But, the entire squad has had a synchronized loss in form. One or two players going out of form is manageable but what would you do when the whole squad forgets how to kick the ball? This is akin to Chelsea's form in the premier league and luck appears to be against us.

    Here is a quick overview of the players' form:

    GW 10 rank -------> GW 15 rank

    89k -------> 173k
    8k -------> 72k
    17k -------> 32k
    26k -------> 171k
    177k -------> 117k
    18k -------> 15k

    As you can see above only 2 players have had an increase in rank, albeit very small. The rest have had a serious dip in form. It has been an unrelenting downpour of red arrows week in and week out.

    We are working together to stop this rut and turn things around. Our next game is against high flying New Caledonia. They have 2 wins out of 3 and have also scored the most number of points so far in our group. Things couldn't get more difficult. We remain positive and it's all hands on deck time.

    We hope to have good news the next time you hear from us!!

    It was definitely the lasagna.

    1. Colonel Wasabi
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Lasagna ?!
      That might explain San Marino's poor stomach for a dogfight in recent weeks too....
      Didn't think to work on our pre-match diet.

      Right - this week's gonna be different. I've had 2 curries in the last 7 days.
      We're ging to be on FIRE versus Ireland.

  21. oghash
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Do we have any FIFFSA organizers online atm?

  22. oghash
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Also a more than honourable mention needs to go to diva, his presser are not only excellent they're so sublime, great quality.

    Uruguay presser to follow..... Watch out for the finger!

  23. kingozil-The Germans once a…
    • 13 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Fiffsa organisers did you get the team Germany lineup?

    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    FIFFSA Committee: did you recieve email with Poland's benched player?

  24. John t penguin
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Fiffsa committee did you receive team Portugal line up?
    Could you email me it just so I can check it is correct

      • 12 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Ha you wish they were this punctual

    1. Colonel Wasabi
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Finally - I've worked out your grav!
      Very nice.

      1. Colonel Wasabi
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 12 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        (I know - took a while for the penny to drop)

      2. John t penguin
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        Glad someone did

        1. Colonel Wasabi
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 12 Years
          9 years, 12 months ago

          Should'a got it weeks ago.

          Read a few books on the subject.
          "Worst Journey in the World" was a classic by Apsley Cherry-Gerrard.
          Don't name them like they used to......

        2. Jose's Magic Omelette
          • 12 Years
          9 years, 12 months ago

          I don't get it...

          1. Colonel Wasabi
            • Fantasy Football Scout Member
            • 12 Years
            9 years, 12 months ago

            For God's sake look after our people......

          2. John t penguin
            • 11 Years
            9 years, 12 months ago

            I am just stepping out the now
            I may be gone a while

            1. Colonel Wasabi
              • Fantasy Football Scout Member
              • 12 Years
              9 years, 12 months ago

              * the noo

              Aye 😀

    2. Jose's Magic Omelette
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Submitted but you aren't getting anywhere near it!

      1. John t penguin
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        It's ok I can work out who is benched and what transfers have been made so far

        1. Jose's Magic Omelette
          • 12 Years
          9 years, 12 months ago

          Do tell.

  25. oghash
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    The dark, Latin flavoured sultry eyes move from side to side, as if they are looking to latch onto somebody to make them fall deep into that sensual South American magic. A smooth, muscular, statuesque arm, glistening in sweat and with that permanent tan that is straight out of a mills and boon classic. Slowly a middle finger extends and nears the forbidden hole that excites and scares so many in equal parts. It tentatively approaches the hole as if it has a mind of its own and knows it shouldn’t. The finger owner’s eyes, still darting from side to side, as if on sentry duty.

    The screen flickers and pauses before the finger can violate what is a scared part of ‘The Red Devils’ body, the vhs tape stretching and struggling to keep still, making the image on the screen dance back and forth.

    ‘Men’ Chenku firmly said whilst moving in front of the TV screen. ‘Look at this closely; this week’s opponents have no shame. The last time we played them Zasa not only stuck his finger up The Red Devil’s back passage, he got our trusted and valued team member sent off for his reaction causing us to lose!’

    ‘This is not only a football game, this is revenge, this is war, this is a battle that every single member of our beloved nation will be urging us on to win. There can be no losing, there can be no drawing. We have to humiliate them so they know never to mess with Uruguay again!’

    With that Chenku, who is world renowned for his composure and calmness picks up the tv and flings ti across the room. He looks at The Red Devil, ‘Devil, what’s your objective this game?’

    ‘Easy boss, make Billy Gilmore be crying for his mama by the time the match ends’

    ‘Oghash, what’s your mission?’

    ‘I’m going to make him squirm captain; I’m going to make him squeal in pain’

    ‘Who?’

    ‘Mull of course boss’

    ‘Donblaster, what about you?'

    Donblaster chuckles with such evilness he sends shivers down his team mates spines, whilst rubbing his hands. ‘Can’t even describe it cap, words won’t do it justice’

    ‘Riazor, I want you on NickOfOz, make him realise he’s in the wrong hemisphere’

    ‘No worries boss, I’ll pound him so much on the pitch he’ll pop back up next to his kangaroo family’

    ‘Dj Dave, you know what to do?’

    ‘Yes boss, just like we planned, don’t worry, Zan Keroski will be screaming like a banshee at the full moon’

    ‘Okay guys, I’ll pick up Zasa, he deserves special attention from me. I’ll have to bench one of you but don’t worry, we’ll make sure as a team we don’t let you down’.

    ‘Who are we?’

    ‘URUGUAY’

    ‘Who are they?’

    ‘Scum!!!!’

    1. oghash
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      The finger of Chile will never be forgotten or forgiven!

      1. Zasa
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        Speaking of fingers, Chile formally invites you to dine in our quaintly team manor, as per tradition. Today's main course, why chicken fingers of course.

        https://media.giphy.com/media/WTYyeOp92zJFS/giphy.gif

        1. oghash
          • 10 Years
          9 years, 12 months ago

          Tasty

          1. Zasa
            • 11 Years
            9 years, 12 months ago

            I'm sure you're used to fingers by now though 😉

            1. oghash
              • 10 Years
              9 years, 12 months ago

              Only when I'm a good boy 😀 chocolate dangers, it is Christmas after all!

    2. Cheeseoid
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Excellent stuff!

      1. oghash
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        Thanks

    3. Chenku╰☆╮
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      vaya vaya Uruguay!!

    4. John t penguin
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Lovely stuff

    5. Diva
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Good stuff Oghash.

  26. oghash
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    @ballers, did you get our lineup this week. Our captain is busy, if not can I submit it?

    1. oghash
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      @balders bloody autocorrect

      1. Cheeseoid
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 13 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        ballers is his Saturday night name

        1. oghash
          • 10 Years
          9 years, 12 months ago

          He wishes

      • 12 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Yep we've got it 🙂

    2. Chenku╰☆╮
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Playing with the balls I see 😉

      1. oghash
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        😀

    3. Jose's Magic Omelette
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      Mutiny in Uruguay!

  27. Christina.
    • 15 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    The only thing good about Cananda is Acquafresca.

    1. Colonel Wasabi
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      ....well the only bad thing about it is the extra "n"

  28. Cheeseoid
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 13 Years
    9 years, 12 months ago

    Sitting on the dock of the bay of my private island. I say to Man Tuesday I am sure The Seychelles will call this week after all I am the only one with a 100% record remaining. They need me, I heard them choke so badly last week as I ordered just one more rum punch.

    I must strap on my shin pads once more. They will call.....Man Tuesday get me my shin pads! And another drink I tell you! And less of your savage ways!

    At some point we I make these people civilised

    1. oghash
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 12 months ago

      I have had that song stuck in my head for an hour now!

      1. Cheeseoid
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 13 Years
        9 years, 12 months ago

        I am glad. I thought it may be a little too subtle