Tuesday afternoon was like a feeding frenzy, as the Premier League finally let us off the leash to feast on the carcass of the inevitable fixture pile-up.
I can’t quite remember such anticipation for a fixture announcement – such enthusiasm for an opportunity to exploit a crowded calendar and turn it into beautiful FPL points.
Of course, it’s all fuelled by the fact that most of us have been handed a huge advantage.
As I first mentioned back in my previous rant discussion on the subject, the “Chips”, not least the flexibility with the second Wildcard, has set up the most bizarre end-of-season scenario.
Hordes of baffled FPL managers will log in on Sunday April 17 and wonder why their overall and mini-league rank has fallen through the floor. They’ll have no choice but to sit and wave through a procession of FPL managers, fully prepared for Gameweek 34 and well versed in how to exploit it.
While we doubtless deserve some credit for our foresight, it’s almost like we’ve been gifted this opportunity; the Premier League and FA have even combined to hand us the chance to collect our thoughts.
The forthcoming international break is perfectly placed for us to assess our budget, mock up Gameweek 33 Wildcard squads and have our plans well and truly defined. It’s all so perfect but it just feels dirty.
Spare a thought for Ryan Grzegowski. There he is, top of the FPL rankings but, presumably, fully aware that his chances of withstanding the incoming Gameweek 34 storm are slim to none. He’s sitting on a temporary throne, watching this huge twister of FPL managers slowly approach, destined to blow him away.
His friends and family will be completely baffled. No doubt enthused by his current rank and surely confused as to why Ryan is so downbeat.
I almost want to be there to help him explain to them that it’s because he played his second Wildcard back in Gameweek 21 in order to bring in Sergio Aguero (who duly blanked against Everton). And how he frittered his Bench Boost chip back in Gameweek 11, earning just ten points from his four subs.
Now, because of those two ill-fated judgement calls, he’s set to be overwhelmed by those who watched and waited for Gameweek 34 to arrive. He’s consistently outscored all comers to claim the top spot but will now be powerless to avoid relinquishing it when Gameweek 34 has its wicked way with our seasons.
Maybe I’m being too charitable. Maybe I just need to sit back, rub my hands with glee and thank the Fantasy gods for this perfect opportunity to bask in the greenest of green arrows. No doubt I’ll come around to that way of thinking as I press the button on my Gameweek 33 Wildcard.
However, for Ryan’s sake and for all the others who have spent their Chips with cheery frivolity, I kind of hope that the Gameweek 34 twister is not quite as devastating as we all expect.

