Phil Jones gets bigged up as Jose Mourinho talks rotation, Kevin De Bruyne assumes the position and Alexandre Lacazette patronises both Thierry Henry and us all, but there might be hope on the horizon for him.

Say What? covers them and Liverpool’s attacking options and Bournemouth’s one and only goal scorer to boot.

One face fitting at United

Squad rotation – we all know it’s going to happen, it’s how we manage it that’s the point.

So Jose Mourinho should be thanked for his latest comments on the subject because, let’s face it, ignorance is not bliss when it comes to such things.

He spilled the rotating beans while bigging up the (post-Christmas) return of Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

“Zlatan is going to arrive to a team that, I don’t say is the end product, but he is going to arrive mid-season with the team playing in a certain way and with players having what I call the functional links in the dynamic of the team.

“I give you just one example – if we play Stoke on the weekend and two days later we play against Burton (in the League Cup) and I want to give a rest to my two strikers, who do I play against Burton? I have to play Rashford or Lukaku.”

Anthony Martial might feel justifiably huffy about not at least getting a mention there, but he, and we, must move on to what Jose says next.

“I don’t have another one to play so I cannot give rest to my players, I cannot do rotation with them like I am going to do with the midfield players or the central defenders or with the wingers.”

This is not in itself surprising, although depending on the scope of the changes, it could potentially cause headaches for vast swathes of us – three of the top four most popular players in Fantasy Premier League are United assets.

There’s good news for Phil Jones, though, as his manager continues.

“He’s potentially a very good player. He’s still young. He’s still in a learning age but for years and years and years he was injury-prone. If we manage to have him safe and protected from injuries, I think potentially he’s everything I like in a central defender.”

Jones himself is used to such plaudits. In fact, he’s used to almost insanely over the top praise, like the time Sir Alex Ferguson declared that he could become United’s best ever player.

“Yeah, but at the time you are young, and you just read the comments, but it goes straight over your head, you’re not interested.”

Not interested? There must have been something exceptional going on in Phil’s life to be able to distract him from that praise, and all the resulting pressure.

“…years ago, whenever it happened, you think ‘oh that’s good’… and you go out to Nando’s with your mates.”

Cheeky.

“Sometimes your face fits, sometimes it doesn’t.”

And sometimes Phil’s face looks like it’s dealing with the alimentary after-shocks of trying Nando’s new PERi-PERi Vusa sauce.

Which explains everything.

Four into three at Anfield?

One manager who is frequently fulsome in his praise of his players is Liverpool’s Jurgen Klopp.

He, too, will have to rotate his stars – and in fact already has – this season, but there’s little doubt as to the three he wants playing as much as possible.

“I really trust these players and I really like developing with them. Yes Sadio made a big step, but first of all because it was possible for him to do it. Being more clear in all the situations, passing in the right moment, dribbling in the right moments, be always a goal threat.”

Then there’s the new boy.

“You can see Mo (Salah) is on the way there. Not that used to it. Not using the body that much, different player, same speed, but different player. He played a completely different position last season, he was a second striker at Roma. He is a winger – he can play this. He has defended 500 per cent more already than he did last season, but another player who needs to adapt.”

And the undoubted teacher’s pet.

“Roberto Firmino. Who was in doubt about him? He had my respect one and a half years ago already. He is an unbelievable player. Working hard, everybody speaks about passing game, but the challenges he had defensively, chasing them from behind, all over the pitch – they couldn’t get rid of him. That is the character you need to make the next step with the team.”

So how does Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain break into this golden triangle, particularly now that Philippe Coutinho has been forced to ditch thoughts of tapas and get back on the scouse?

“I just say I’d like to be an attacking midfielder.”

He was clearly unhappy with being used as a wing-back in his final days at Arsenal and seemed to spend the entire international break attempting to show his new boss just what Offensive Ox can do.

Unfortunately for him, that involved lots of running around like a headless chicken, and shooting like a boneless one.

Fortunately for him, Klopp can’t have been looking.

“I’ve spoken to the manager about this, there’s going to be a lot of positions in this team: up-front, because the wingers play a bit more inside, or the midfield. I need to get a feel for how the team plays and obviously it’s for the manager to decide. But ultimately, I just want to be able to be an attacking influence and have that effect further up the pitch; whether that’s from an attacking midfield position or one of the wider positions coming in, I’m not too fussed.”

This is Oxlade-Chamberlain’s seventh top-flight season in a career blighted by persistent injuries and consistently underwhelming returns. Last year was his best, involving the most minutes played (1,564) from which he extracted two goals and seven assists for a record points haul of 83.

Two players with similar pitch-time last season were Chelsea’s Willian and United’s Martial.

They scored eight and four goals respectively, with the Frenchman also just one shy of the former Gunner’s seven assist total. Willian ended up with 114 points, Martial 95.

So there’s no doubt that Oxlade-Chamberlain is going to have to up his goalscoring, and in fact all-round, game if he’s to keep Klopp’s favoured trio on their toes.

The rotation that involvement in the Champions League makes almost inevitable should give him the chance, and he has one huge thing in his favour when it comes to our fantasy plans – his price.

Mane costs 9.6, Salah 9.0. Oxlade-Chamberlain is a mere 6.0, which is a chunky 0.9 cheaper than even Georginio Wijnaldum at the moment.

Wherever he ends up playing, if he can finally find his scoring touch, the Ox might actually become the thoroughbred he’s always aspired to be, rather than the beast of burden he’s so frequently been reduced to.

De Bruyne’s awkward position

And talking of midfield burdens, that’s precisely what’s weighing heavily on Man City’s Kevin De Bruyne.

There was a lot of talk about the Belgian radio interview he gave at the start of the international break in which he described the new midfield order under Pep Gaurdiola.

Here’s what he actually said:

“I haven’t scored yet, but I’m playing as a defending midfielder. My role changed, but my games are good. I know what I bring to the team and what my role is. No one knows what I had to do. People think I play as an attacking midfielder, that’s wrong. They see Kevin De Bruyne, attacking midfielder, so he has to score and give assists. But they don’t look beyond that.”

The recent rush to sell De Bruyne has been of financial crash proportions – more than 200,000 have got rid this week, and it’s all too easy to see why.

His price might have dropped to 9.9, but that’s still a huge wedge for an eight-point return – particularly for a player who, by his own admission, is now operating in an entirely different role.

But the stats still point to a man who has much to give.

David Silva (8.1) is cheaper and has double De Bruyne’s points thus far. But the difference in their performance is less clear cut – the Spaniard has created 12 chances to the Belgian’s eight and leads on big chances two to one.

In terms of goal threat, things are even closer. Raheem Sterling leads the way for City with eight attempts. De Bruyne has seven, although admittedly all are from outside the area, which fits in with his ‘I’m not an attacking midfielder anymore’ narrative.

The mass sales of De Bruyne seem like a no-brainer. Only two midfielders, after all, cost more than him, but 34 are currently outscoring him. But he might just be on the cusp of translating some pretty respectable stats into cold, hard FPL points.

The problem is, at that price, he needs to be producing stellar returns, so while he might be right when he says that we don’t look beyond De Bruyne having ‘to score goals and give assists’, the point is that we simply can’t afford to be doing anything else.

More magic needed from Daniels

One player with more goals than De Bruyne this season – one of 52 actually – is Bournemouth’s Charlie Daniels.

The defender’s Gameweek 3 screamer against Man City produced a very welcome seven-point return for his 13.8% ownership

“I’ve scored a few good goals, but that’s definitely the best so far. Maybe I should shoot a little bit more often if everything ends up like that. If it falls like that, why not?”

Why not indeed, particularly when you’re playing in a team with fewer points than Wayne Rooney’s driving licence.

The case for the Bournemouth defence is currently of the basket variety – no team has allowed more shots in the box than the Cherries’ 37, and the total they’ve conceded (54) is the third worst record in the league.

That’s decidedly vexing for the 13.8% of managers who own Daniels, making him the eighth most popular defender in FPL.

But he’s always had an attacking threat in his locker – he’s scored seven goals and provided eight assists over the past two seasons.

This is just as well, because things aren’t likely to get much better for Bournemouth for the foreseeable future. They travel to Arsenal this weekend and still have Everton and Spurs away and a visit from Chelsea to come before the end of Gameweek 10.

“We like to play intricately, I think everyone knows that. But sometimes if it’s there to be hit, just hit it. If you don’t shoot, you don’t score so if it’s on, you have full licence to shoot.”

He might need to heed his own advice on that, however, as Daniels’ goal against City was one of only two attempts he’s managed thus far this season. He’s also created precisely zero chances.

Daniels costs 5.0. No fewer than 21 defenders who cost the same, or less, have produced more than his 10 points to date.

If Bournemouth don’t get their defensive act together sharpish, the full-back is going to have to be shooting a whole lot more if he is to retain the faith of his sizeable fan club.

Alexandre and the great

Arsenal continue to be the gift that gives and takes in equal measure.

Following their 4-0 shambles at Anfield, you’d be well within your rights to ditch any Gunners assets you might still have the misfortune to own, while changing your team name to ‘Wenger Out’ for good measure.

But then there’s the little matter of Arsenal’s upcoming home matches.

Bournemouth, West Brom, Brighton and Swansea City will be at the Emirates from now until Gameweek 10.

Yes, there’s a potential horror show at Chelsea (and a tricky trip to Everton) to take into account as well, but if Wenger’s boys are to exorcise their Anfield demons, there really should be no place like home to do it.

At least record signing Alexandre Lacazette has been talking the talk – in terms of both goals and assists – in an interview with Arsenal legend Thierry Henry.

“As a No. 9, I have to be there to score goals, but that isn’t the only thing. I also participate in the build-up and help my team-mates, but, above all, it’s about scoring goals. Yes, they (assists) are important, although less important than goals in my opinion. They are still important because a pass can set up a team-mate.”

Yep, he’s nailed what an assist is.

“An assist is when a team-mate finishes it off rather than just going close and the shot goes wide or ends up in the crowd. I don’t know if you get what I’m saying.”

We do, Alexandre. In fact we did a whole quote ago. So enough of your mansplaining, or more accurately, assplaining, if that’s the correct term.

Lacazette, ironically, has no assists this season, and just the one goal. Then again, he’s managed an underwhelming four attempts, but a fairly impressive four chances created.

The 13.9% of managers who have stuck by him despite his premium 10.4 price will be hoping he delivers a lot more of one or the other over those tasty home match-ups.

And he has one other string to his attacking bow.

“It’s true that I score a lot of penalties. If referees give us penalties and the coach names me as the penalty-taker, I have to take them. That doesn’t mean that I’m going to score them. Many people think it’s easy to score them, but that isn’t the case when the pressure is on.”

But what exactly is a penalty, Alexandre? No, let’s not go there, but instead hear from Wenger on his new striker.

“He is a player, when you look at his numbers, his assist numbers are good as well and he is not an absolutely obsessed, selfish striker. You have many types of strikers and he is the one who is more of a combination player than a finisher. He is a guy who doesn’t shoot a lot but when he shoots, he finishes.”

Unfortunately, the only finishing going on at the moment has involved FPL managers severing their ties with the French striker – the 100,000+ sales he’s endured make him the fourth most transferred-out player of the Gameweek.

That’s an understandable call, but it might well backfire if Lacazette can start walking the walk as well as he can talk the bloody obvious.