[sbu_large_image] Opinion
30 April 2016 1256 comments
Mark Mark
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Let’s savour these moments.

With just under an hour to go before we start tapping F5 having sent our boys over the line, let us put things into perspective.

Few of us have found this season plain sailing. I actually think this is a campaign by which Fantasy Football managers will be judged for years to come.

We may want to wipe it from memory but our ability to cope with the unpredictable chicanery of 2015/16 has proved a rare test.

For all the anguish, we’ll be sorry to see the back of it. Whilst we have Euro 16 to scratch the itch, we’ll miss these Saturday’s toying with transfers and soon be hankering for the headaches that distract us from everyday tedium.

In a few weeks we will be shopping for a strimmer not Kevin Wimmer.

We will be dreading the weekend barbecue amongst “friends” who barely acknowledge the merits of the beautiful game, let alone a complex meta game layered over the top that involves imaginary teams and yards of statistics.

We will crave concerns over Jurgen Klopp’s rotation when you’re forced instead to indulge in small talk with relative strangers, who politely humour your unhealthy obsession with a token opening line – “what about Leicester, then, eh?”

They really don’t want to hear your thoughts on the likely price of Riyad Mahrez next season. They just want you to acknowledge their gesture and allow them to quickly jolt the conversation back to talk of their safari holiday and their plans for the kitchen extension.

Think on this when you’re next driven to quitting Fantasy Football by the non-appearance of Philippe Coutinho. We really can’t afford to do without such anxieties; we miss them when they’re not occupying our headspace or wrecking our mood.

Admittedly, it’s been tough. The tortuous trials we have put ourselves through have combined to create a season of discontent for Fantasy Football managers.

Now this nine-month tale of the unexpected looks set to conclude in remarkable fashion.

Leicester’s fairy tale could be completed on Sunday. Their incredible achievement will surely touch even non-football fans, offering our friends and associates handy ice-breakers when they’re forced to engage us in conversation over that half-cooked burger.

As you nod courteously at their failed attempts to bluff their way through a stilted football chat, think back at that time you missed out on Sergio Aguero’s points and realise that without that unique brand of agony, your life just wouldn’t be the same.

Mark Mark created the beast. He's now looking to tame it.

  1. cyclopropane
    • 10 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Anyone got lukaku (c) i'm on ozil bu my vice always outscores my c so...

    1. EmreCan Hustle
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Sanchez(C), Lukaku(VC) here.

      1. ZLATAN'S PONYTAIL
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 10 Years
        10 years, 1 month ago

        This

  2. Whats the Mata?
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 11 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    play gabriel and hope he plays 90 mins or 0 mins with simpson as a sub or just play simpson?

    1. decisions
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      im playing gab with simpson sub

      1. Whats the Mata?
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 11 Years
        10 years, 1 month ago

        not worried about a 1pt cameo? 😛

      2. Cristi@no R7
        • 13 Years
        10 years, 1 month ago

        Same

    2. Whats the Mata?
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      someone?

  3. Jazz!
    • 11 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Townsend © 😎

    1. Over Midwicket
      • 14 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      See below 🙂

    2. Netley Lucas
      • 10 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Now that's what I call a triple captaincy.

  4. Over Midwicket
    • 14 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Triple (c) on Townsend. Hold me.

    1. boombaba
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Lmao

    2. Jazz!
      • 11 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      The triple might be a little over the top 😆

    3. Give The Todd Some Love
      • 14 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Mental

    4. EmreCan Hustle
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Yikes!

    5. yemzinho
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      ends in tears

      1. Over Midwicket
        • 14 Years
        10 years, 1 month ago

        Tears of joy

    6. Arteta
      • 10 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Woooah!

  5. boombaba
    • 13 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Firminho or Fab

    1. Les Bleus
      • 14 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Fab

    2. Arteta
      • 10 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Cesc

  6. jimbobmij
    • 11 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Who's the better pick out of Mannone or Gomes to play this week and next?

    1. boombaba
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Manonne for season

      Gones this week

  7. andy85wsm
    • Has Moderation Rights
    • 15 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Really enjoyed the preamble - one of the best ones yet

    "In a few weeks we will be shopping for a strimmer not Kevin Wimmer."

    1. Margarido
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Was about to put that same line 🙂
      My favorite article of the week!

    2. Horizontal
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Mark is a really excellent writer, so although I know that he works for a video game producer then I don't know what his role is there, but hope that it's got something to do with writing.
      Can you imagine doing these preambles every week of the season for nigh on 8 years?
      I think that I'd run out of ideas, but he never seems to.
      A very talented bloke, even though he ignores al my advice. 🙂

    3. Bazzalona
      • 14 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      great article. have to say i'm sooooo looking forward to my mates talking about laminate flooring this summer. what could be more fun?
      typhoid? cholera?

  8. Champione
    • 10 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Aguero and Firmino in my XI. Should I do Coutinho > DGW player -4 and bench Firmino?

  9. myboycharlie
    • 14 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Mignolet or Robles to Mannone looks like neither will play this week

  10. ★Kuntheman★
    • 10 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Will Firmino start? I need a differential captain. Also considering Payet and De Bruyne.

    Sanchez is my safety.

    1. boombaba
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      I'm benching him for fab

  11. djpete
    • 13 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Beautifully said Mark.

  12. Blue Moon Rising
    • 14 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Best Liverpool defender?

    1. Colonel Shoe 肝池
      • 14 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      None

    2. Revival
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      ignore this gameweek for sure

  13. Jubilanus / BSC Small Boys …
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 15 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Pick 2 to bench.

    Simpson, Gabriel, firmino, kbb

    1. Les Bleus
      • 14 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Simpson and KDB

  14. CunkOnFPL
    • 13 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Good to go:

    Darlow
    Bell, Simpson, Smalling
    Lanzini, KDB, Milner, San©hez
    Kane, Kun, Martial
    Robles, pva, Gabriel, Alli
    £0.4m

    any changes, any worth a hit?

  15. Hochoki
    • 12 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    should i go for AOA or bench milner ... bellerin pva fuchs moreno and VVD r my 5 defenders

  16. Hurricane Gilbert
    • 10 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    So we all think that Aguero will start tomorrow?

    1. Revival
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      I think he will be rested...hope I'm wrong of course

  17. Tmel
    • 15 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Start Lanzini or KDB?

    1. Hurricane Gilbert
      • 10 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Lanzini FFS 😉

    2. boombaba
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Lanziniiiii

  18. funnyoldgame
    • 16 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    would you play...
    A) DDG (LEI)
    B) Darlow (avl)

    I'm thinking Darlow

  19. Lateriser 12
    • 14 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Last minute wildcard check.

    DDG
    Bellerin Cresswell PVA
    Ozil Alexis Payet Hazard
    Lukaku Studge Defoe

    Ruddy Lanzini Smalling Defoe

    Good to go?

    1. Hurricane Gilbert
      • 10 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Leave it like that LR and get yourself a rest! 😉 Looks great!

    2. That Was Easy!
      • 11 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Man, that looks awesome.

    3. Jazz!
      • 11 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Defoe on back too?

      1. Jazz!
        • 11 Years
        10 years, 1 month ago

        Bench*

    4. Les Bleus
      • 14 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Why Ozil? The rest looks good.

      1. Lateriser 12
        • 14 Years
        10 years, 1 month ago

        Norwich at home.

        And more time to assess Chelsea mids.

    5. decisions
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 15 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      GTG mate, VGTG

    6. Tmel
      • 15 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Looks awesome

    7. The Red Devil
      • 11 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      got 2 defoes

    8. Arvin-ation
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Who is Defoe?

      G2G mate

    9. Arteta
      • 10 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Good to go!

  20. That Was Easy!
    • 11 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    59 point deficit. Have plenty of differentials, but he's got BB.

    I need a differential captaincy pick each week, aye?

    Thinking Ozil.

    1. Heels_Over_Head
      • 12 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      yesh... seems viable plan

    2. Arteta
      • 10 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Should pay off. 😉

    3. EmreCan Hustle
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Good call.

  21. 50 Shades Oshea
    • 12 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    do people think ake is a risk?

    1. Marcin the Pole
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 10 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Yes. Go Cathcart.

      1. 50 Shades Oshea
        • 12 Years
        10 years, 1 month ago

        damn that stops me getting haz then on my wc

    2. boombaba
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Yes

  22. The Mandalorian
    • 13 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    United away record is not even in the top 6 and for the double they have 2 away games 🙂

    1. Hurricane Gilbert
      • 10 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      I'm under the impression that United both concede and score more goals on the road?

      1. The Mandalorian
        • 13 Years
        10 years, 1 month ago

        Defensive is poor away

  23. fickle
    • 10 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    its going to be funny seeing the team news come out the exact same moment transfers become unavailable anymore

    1. che
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Funny isn't the word I would use

  24. dhamphiir
    • 10 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    GTG?
    Hart
    Bellerin, PVA, Cresswell
    Milner, Payet, Sanchez(C), Mahrez
    Kane, Aguero, Defoe
    Sub: Hennessey, Fuchs, Smalling, Alli

    1. boombaba
      • 13 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Play smalling for pva

  25. Marcin the Pole
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 10 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    A) Lanzini and Aguero
    B) Lukaku/Carroll/Costa and Firmino.

    Please help.

  26. Art Vandelay
    • 15 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    KDB > Payet for a hit and leave Alli to next week or Alli > Willian / Kazri

    1. ZLATAN'S PONYTAIL
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 10 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      Yes. Although Alli to Townsend looks good too

    2. Messiah Hazard
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 14 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      If you have not got a strong XI then take a hit

  27. Tronity
    • 12 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Alli > Fabregas for a hit

  28. che
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 11 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Mark, you really need to get some better mates if that's gonna be the extent of your summer. Get yourself over to the Euros with the lads. That'll beat the BBQ small talk any day

  29. ZLATAN'S PONYTAIL
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 10 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    Sturridge in for Aguero? Yay/Nay?

    1. Heels_Over_Head
      • 12 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      If you believe
      Fortune favours the bold - then yes

      If you believe
      Caution is the greater part of valour - then no

      1. ZLATAN'S PONYTAIL
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 10 Years
        10 years, 1 month ago

        No it is. I have to live with the risk averse human that i am. Leading my ML. Dont want to jeopardize it. Cheers!!

  30. Kevtheotter
    • 14 Years
    10 years, 1 month ago

    -8 done. First of the season

    Darlow
    Gabriel Bellerin PVA
    Sanchez(c) Milner Lanzini KDB
    Kun Defoe Kane

    Robles Coutinho Simpson Delaney

    1. Les Bleus
      • 14 Years
      10 years, 1 month ago

      -8 and you still have Coutinho and KDB? What were your transfers?

      1. Kevtheotter
        • 14 Years
        10 years, 1 month ago

        Sakho Alli and Mitrovic ----> PVA Lanzini and Defoe