There’s no getting away from it, Granville and I are nothing short of bitter middle aged, middle of the table Fantasy managers. This week’s ScoutCast is a vitriol-filled slab of double Gameweek failure, inspired by Yaya Toure’s relentless point scoring and our stubborn reluctance to recruit his talents.

Of course, in between skinning our sour grapes, Granville and I dabble with the podcast regulars, whilst responding to another round of community posers including a lookey-likey query that smiles kindly on my co-host and has me recounting the tale of my very own office doppleganger.

Wallow in self pity via this link or look on the bright side via the player below…

About The Author

“Mark created the beast. He's now looking to tame it.”


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  1. Start Sterling or Mutch?

    1. KoL


  2. Just been looking at some stats for this season:

    Man City are 2nd for Clean Sheets (Joint 2nd with 13),
    Man City are 2nd best for games in which they failed to score (4 games),
    Man City are 2nd for Goals Scored (79),
    Man City are 2nd for Goals Conceded (27).

    Not the best in any but consistent! If you compare to Chelsea and Liverpool:

    Chelsea are 1st for Clean Sheets (14),
    Chelsea are 4th best for games in which they failed to score (6 games),
    Chelsea are 3rd for Goals Scored (62),
    Chelsea are 1st for Goals Conceded (23).

    Liverpool are 5th for Clean Sheets (Joint 5th with 9),
    Liverpool are 1st for games in which they failed to score (2 games),
    Liverpool are 1st for Goals Scored (84),
    Liverpool are 6th for Goals Conceded (Joint 6th with 39).

    Think it shows that Man City & Chelsea are in a better place to win the league due to their defense.

    Liverpool's attack is better but you still get the same amount of points for a 1-0 win as you do for a 4-0 win.

    However if Liverpool continue with the we'll score more than you do who to say they can't win the league with the worst defense of the 3.

    1. but you also get the same points for a 1-0 win as a 4-3 win etc

      1. Which just emphasizes the point I was making about Liverpool compared to the other 2.

  3. Koschelney + sterling --> distin + Erikson


    Thoughts please??

    1. Learn their names

      1. Who's that? Is he any good?

    2. Epic fail, on the spelling front! :-D

    3. dont know about eriksen

  4. For the rest of the season, Eriksen or Lallana?

    1. Tricky. I would like to say Eriksen, on account of fixtures.

    2. Eriksen. better fixtures, and he's a class act

      1. And Lallana isn`t? Regardless of what you think of the two players, only one of them is 100% nailed on.

  5. Any Everton fans online? What are your thoughts on Barkley?

    My impression was that the limited game time was due to him being protected a little and having time to recover from niggling injuries, but now that they are out of all other competitions and have a chance to make the top 4, surely they will play their strongest team (which I assume will include him) every game?

  6. Hoping to do Nolan to either AJ or Eriksen, Baines to up to 4.7, and Lukaku to Kun next week for -4, assuming Kun plays some part tomorrow.

    Sound good? Which of AJ/Eriksen would you go for?

    Also thinking Wilson for the Baines downgrade, or Vlaar.

    1. Surely you will go for Schürrle? :-D

      1. Too risky for me

    2. you do realise Everton have a decent DGW?

      1. I have Distin too, would rather Kun that Baines

    3. I dont think its worth it. Baines may outscore either. Do you really want Vlaar or Wilson?

      1. Have Distin Azpi and Zaba still so they'd be 4th def

        1. In that case, Vlaar.

  7. Distin or Zabaleta for the DGW34?

    1. Zabaleta. Or Coleman.

      1. I have Distin (and coleman), just contemplating my moves for the DGW. Evertons fixtures are decent and just thinking do I really need Zabaleta or not.

  8. What do you reckon guys??

    Lukaku and lallana
    Mutch and Aguero

    1. Former. Easily.

    2. Depends what the rest of your team is and whether that 4/5th midfielder will be starting regularly.

      1. Rest of the team is:

        Hazard-Yaya-Gerrard-SILVA atm
        Suarez-Sturridge-DZEKO atm

        1. The Lukaku & Lallana definatly.

          A.Johnson maybe worth a look instead of Lallana, 2 more DGW's coming up for him and looked v.good against Liverpool.

  9. Mids are AJ Nolan Snodgrass Hazard Mirallas (yes no YYT)

    A) Save the FT and play 4 of those...if so, pick 2 of AJ Nolan Snoddy please!
    B) Nolan > Nasri

    1. B).

      But I am going for Schürlle.

      1. can always count on you for the surprise picks Doos! Considering him as well, surely Jose has to pick him. On form.

          1. you had my curiosity...but now you have my attention.

        1. Also, Willian's form is on the slide, and Oscar has lacked consistency.

          1. What about Salah, who is ineligible for CL? We've got PSG both the coming midweeks...

            1. Salah`s shit.

  10. Planning a bit ahead for gameweek 34, would you rather:

    A) Baines / Nasri / Aguero
    B) Baines / Yaya / Dzeko
    C) Jagielka / Yaya / Aguero

      1. Ageuro still too much a risk for me

  11. Play Sterling (TOT) or Snodgrass (swa) this weekend?

    1. Sterling, imo.

  12. Nolan looks good for this week, keep and play him, then transfer next week.

    I would go Nolan and Snoddy

    1. reply fail to shifty

      1. he never does well away from home and their fixture list os poor

    2. Cheers, will think about it. No love for AJ? Sunderland will have to go on the attack, if i had to choose between him and Nolan, home factor + team's reliance on his creativity nicks it over Nolan.

  13. Any suggestion for this week?

    I think my defender is a bit weak... i could do demel --> az or caulker as a punt

    or should i try remove mirallas get in distin then get a new midfield?


    mannone dead

    demel ward olsson zabaleta baines

    yaya johnson mirallas hazard noone

    SAS lukaku

    1.1m ITB

    1. Caulker has goal threat but he is pricey for a cardiff defender.

      don't you want to keep Mirallas for the double?

      1. What happened to Mannone?!

      2. Caulker or Azpuellta

  14. How do we think the whole Schurrle/Willian situation will play out? Neither seems worthy of being dropped right?

    1. They'll both be rotated alongside Salah, who I think will be important in the league for the run-in.

      1. Oscar Schurrle Willian Salah Ramires will all be rotated for the 2nd and 3rd midfield spot alongside Hazard, when Ramires is fit I can see us going 4-3-3 in some games as well. The further we progress in CL, the more of a rotation threat they all are.

      2. Interesting. Do you support Chelsea? Assume you do.

        1. Well that answers that!

          1. Just seems risky to go for one of them. Limited upside too, Chelsea aren't really scoring many goals. I mean we don't play Arsenal every week, hehe.

            1. My draft league rival/housemate has both Willian and Schurrle now. Will laugh at his headache

      3. I only see Salah playing if Hazard is taken off early in games to preserve him for UCL, otherwise Hazard has LAM, and RAM will be Willian/Schurrle, maybe occasionally giving Salah 20 mins

  15. Koscielny & Sterling --> Eriksen & Distin for -4

    Yeah or no?


  16. Gday lads, quick one;

    a) Play Nolan and save one FT (get Lallana next week)
    b) Use the transfer to get Lallana in today.

    1. You want Lallana long term?

      1. Think so mate! Fixtures look good.

    2. I have hope for Nolan, but would rather Lallana long term.

      I'm holding Nolan one more week but that's partly because I'm taking him out for someone cheaper, and Nolan has a better fixture this week than my options to replace him.

      If I was considering Lallana in for him, I would probably do it now as Nolan tends to be poor away

      1. Cheers for your thoughts man! Not sure what to do.

  17. For GW34:

    a) Baines Lukaku
    b) Distin Kun (-4)

    1. Impossible to answer that now. Depends on the form and fitness of all 4 players leading up to GW34.

      1. Assume all fit and Aguero typical form

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Fixture Ticker

“My team this year has been the Fantasy Premier League equivalent of a Morecambe & Wise sketch. I've played all the right players . . . but not necessarily in the right order.”

Fantacity on his 2013/14 season