Preamble

The Pre-match Preamble – Gameweek 14

I was never one to keep a diary. The only time I’ve really wavered is back in pre-pubescent years and, quite frankly, I’m thankful that my Clearasil-coated days of unrequited love never made it onto a page for posterity.

Inadvertently, the Pre-match Preamble has morphed into a diary of sorts: these Saturday morning entries are a journal, telling the tale of my season to look back on. Today’s is certainly written with that in mind.

I want to put this on record as an experiment, just to see how long it takes before I find myself referring to these statements and cringing, almost as if I’d stumbled upon that poem I wrote for the girl in 5C, scrawled on the entry page for September 12, 1987.

I want to declare that I’m happy turning my back on Sergio Aguero.

I want to confirm that I believe I can do without his goals and that my team wil be better off without his genius.

I’d also like to add that I don’t intend to come knocking for the Argentine until my winter Wildcard arrives – maybe not even then.

There, it’s done. I’m outed.

There have been several scenarios built in my head to help justify such statements.

I fully expect Harry Kane to maintain his streak, for Romelu Lukaku to go on bullying back fours and delivering on his promise. As for Jamie Vardy, I’ve convinced myself that he’ll remain unstoppable and undroppable.

Similarly, while there’s no logic to back this up – I’m hoping that we’ve already seen Aguero at his destructive best. Does he have another 25-point haul in him? I can live in hope.

I’ve another more rational reason for going without. Aguero’s hefty 13.1 can take a big bite out of squad resources, just as we enter the Christmas period when the bench is needed most. Turn my back on Sergio and I’m able to stock up on reserves who can deliver festive cheer.

Predictably, Granville believes I’ll pay the price and revert to type.

He’s immediately rounded up the cash to swoop and is slapping the armband on Aguero, even with the promise of curtailed minutes against a Southampton side with a strong defence on the road.

It’s a no-lose situation for Granville. Aguero can defy fixtures and form, and he’s already proven he can punish non-believers with merciless efficiency. I’m cruising for a bruising – laying down the foundations for a clear opportunity for my Manc rival to tie me in knots when I’m inevitably forced to back down.

But then that’s half the fun. Going without Aguero feels dangerous. It’s almost maverick management by proxy, and if it helps differentiate my team from Granville’s, perpetuating our rivalry, it’s an added bonus.

The question is, when will I get to return to these words to prep and season them as the filling in my humble pie?

Next week? Next month? Next year? Five past three today?

I just sense that Granville can hardly wait.

Mark Mark created the beast. He's now looking to tame it.

1,798 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Numb
    • 9 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    @manunited

    Bailey
    Donaghy V.Anderson McQueen C.Gibson
    Coppell Moses Robson Olsen
    Stapleton Brazil

    Not official.

    1. Epic Fail
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Mods. Ban please.

    2. stilicho
      • Has Moderation Rights
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Banned

      1. Jafooli
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        😀

    3. Jax
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      not the real team. that's you just posting an old team from yesteryear. shame.

      1. Numb
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Busted! 🙁

        1. Jax
          • 14 Years
          8 years, 5 months ago

          haha! 🙂

      2. Numb
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        It's just a selection of players from roughly that era, probably never all played together though.

        Brazil (c)

        Hope his back is OK!

      3. Demí
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Fair play Jax. I was nearly fooled myself, i have to admit

        1. Jax
          • 14 Years
          8 years, 5 months ago

          haha

        2. Numb
          • 9 Years
          8 years, 5 months ago

          Yeah, sorry about that. It was plausible.

    4. KOLASINA(C)
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      OMG GRIMWOOD BENCHED

    5. Numb
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Think Mahrez could rip Gibson apart

    6. Rödallegabomb ᴿᴮ
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Ban.

      1. Numb
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        I did clearly say it's not official. Just Twitter stuff.

    7. Colonel Shoe 肝池
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      no poborsky

  2. QPR expects... glory!
    • 13 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    I'm with you Mark.

    For me if Kane delivers it will be a case of third time lucky. I've already sold him twice! He's due I tell you, due!!

  3. FPL Daniel
    • 14 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    I am stubborn. Alexis captain again, even though he let me down last time against WBA.

    Thoughts??

    1. Demí
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Not a good record with Giroud 🙁

      1. Daaf
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Yeah, this is so true!

      2. si
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        He did OK in midweek.

    2. Epic Fail
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Good option.

    3. Leaf
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      I'm going for him too

  4. weeurquahrt
    • 13 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Bookies giving money away today ,everton @13/8. Get on ......

    1. S.Kuqi
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Agreed. What odds for Lukaku to score and Everton to win?

      1. weeurquahrt
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        7/2

    2. Obi Wan Elokobi
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Think Chelsea 2/1 is a massive price as well.

    3. Royal5
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      This

    4. MarkyMarkovic
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Everton to win both halves is 8/1

  5. Eden Azzzar
    • 8 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    How long to kick off two hours?

    1. Epic Fail
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Yep.

  6. Leaf
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 14 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Very good read Mark ,

    Completely disagree , but great read

    1. Epic Fail
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Typing with one hand?

      1. Leaf
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Jammy Vardy would not have that effect

  7. Tomas Brolin ate all Depays
    • 11 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Have we had the liverpool team yet from our insider ?!

    1. Team Cruel
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      His source got sacked

      1. Jafooli
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Mark?

    2. Jax
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      no stop asking.

    3. Numb
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      No but I'm hearing Steve Heighway may be benched!

  8. ILOVEBAPS
    • 12 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Kane (C) lets do it!!

    1. Daaf
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      I can't help but feel Chelsea will be ready and it will be tough for Kane.

  9. Deep Sea Amphipod
    • 10 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Bench one:

    Nyom (avl)
    Kolarov (SOT)
    Toby (CHE)

    1. Team Cruel
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Ny

    2. ILOVEBAPS
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      C

    3. Deep Sea Amphipod
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Thanking you. It's a toss up

  10. Your Mum's Athletic
    • 12 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    If Aguero is benched would you try and stick Gosling on instead?

    1. Rödallegabomb ᴿᴮ
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Hate and *he is capable of doing damage from the bench* incoming...

      1. Your Mum's Athletic
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        90 minute gosling > 20 minute Aguero surely? Also while I got ya, any chance of a wee christmas hat for Quagmire?

        1. Rödallegabomb ᴿᴮ
          • 11 Years
          8 years, 5 months ago

          I'm not so sure. I'll get on that now, might need to downsize Quaggies' head to fit it on.

          1. Arvin-ation
            • Fantasy Football Scout Member
            • 10 Years
            8 years, 5 months ago

            Sorry about missing the team submission deadline mate. Completely forgot!

            1. Doosra - ☭DeclanMyGenius…
              • Fantasy Football Scout Member
              • 14 Years
              8 years, 5 months ago

              BENCH HIM!!! 😉

              1. Your Mum's Athletic
                • 12 Years
                8 years, 5 months ago

                agreed 😉

              2. Arvin-ation
                • Fantasy Football Scout Member
                • 10 Years
                8 years, 5 months ago

                😀

                (C)aptain this week, Doosra? Kane?

          2. Your Mum's Athletic
            • 12 Years
            8 years, 5 months ago

            or if the hat is ridiculously small 😆

    2. Leaf
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Think I'd prefer 20 mins of Kun than Gosling

      1. Rödallegabomb ᴿᴮ
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        This counts.

      2. Your Mum's Athletic
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        really though?

        1. Leaf
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 14 Years
          8 years, 5 months ago

          Yes very really for me , could easily get a couple of goals

          1. Your Mum's Athletic
            • 12 Years
            8 years, 5 months ago

            🙁

    3. Leaf
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      he is capable of doing damage from the bench

      1. Your Mum's Athletic
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        hmmm i'm not sure

  11. Siggy in the Middle
    • 8 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Should I just ignore Lukaku and Aguero this week?

    Stats point aginst both of them

    1. Epic Fail
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Depends what colour arrow you want.

    2. Deep Sea Amphipod
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      I'm doing it, but it could go **** up

    3. Sz21
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      If the stats arent going for the Luk.. then exactly who are they going for!!

    4. ☆Khaz
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      What stats point against Lukaku? Lukaku and Everton's excellent attacking stats, or BOU's terrible defensive stats?

  12. Lizard Lips
    • 11 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Richards, Gosling and VVD in that bench order?

  13. Japan Boy
    • 8 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Was there ever a Pocchetino press conference for this week? Is Lamela fit?

  14. hiawatha
    • 9 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    skrtel kane or moreno aguero, what are your thoughts?

    1. Team Cruel
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Moreno Kane

    2. Sailboats
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Moreno and Aguero

    3. hiawatha
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      why do you prefer moreno over skrtel? moreno has only one assist and for 2200 minutes last year he scored 2 goals and 0 assists. skrtel's stats you already know

  15. Zareos
    • 10 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Play two out these three:

    Rojo (75) - Leicester away
    Dier - Chelsea home; or
    Cathcart - Villa away

    If Rojo doesn't play, there's no problem but my worry is he starts & comes off, or as a sub.

    1. Blue Bombers CFC
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Dier for me

      1. Zareos
        • 10 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Thanks for your input. Who with him though, I need two of those three.

        1. Miro
          • 13 Years
          8 years, 5 months ago

          Rojo

  16. Blue Bombers CFC
    • 12 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Richards, Simpson or Francis to start this week?

  17. Malcolm Tucker for England …
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 13 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!!

    1. Malcolm Tucker for England …
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      CRAMP. In my arsecheek..

      1. Malcolm Tucker for England …
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        bloody kilts and sporrans.

      2. Ziro Becomes One
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Call Eva?

        1. Malcolm Tucker for England …
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 13 Years
          8 years, 5 months ago

          i sooo wish

      3. Adam West - Team Serbia for…
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Will this rule you out or will you have to come off around 60 mins ?

        1. Malcolm Tucker for England …
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 13 Years
          8 years, 5 months ago

          i'm struggling, i think.
          Still more mobile than Gomis though. Could get a run out for old Gary

    2. Colonel Shoe 肝池
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      is this an alternative aguero commentary?

  18. AF90
    • 11 Years
    8 years, 5 months ago

    Currently captaining Sanchez despite his dodgy hamstring...is it too much of a risk? Lukaku VC.

    1. Sz21
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Same boat!!

    2. The Hindu Monkey
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      I can't see him benched, so as long as you have a vice who is a certain starter it's fine

      he'll either be given a proper rest until next weekend, or just start as usual

      1. @persecuted_by_mods
          8 years, 5 months ago

          I can't see him benched either but if he is and they're not playing well he will definitely come on so it is a risk, vice isn't gonna come into it

      2. Vasily
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        I'm same position as well. Though I will keep it.

        Injury doesn't pose much risk I think as he will either play at least 60-70 mins or 0 - in which case Lukaku will become C.

        I just don't trust Everton that game though.

    3. MarkyMarkovic
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Hey

      One of the things I would love to see in the pre-amble to the start of the week would be a quick table / grid of the overall ranks major positions

      i.e
      1st 858
      100 815
      1,000 783
      5,000 758
      10,000 746
      100,000 699

      Naturally I'm too lazy to go look it up myself, but posting about it.....

      1. fusen
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Using the FPL ID in your profile, according to fantasy.premierleague.com/my-team/ this is how far away you are from those major ranks;

        Rank 1 : -128
        Rank 101 : -84
        Rank 501 : -62
        Rank 996 : -53
        Rank 4,963 : -28
        Rank 9,990 : -16
        Rank 24,936 : 1
        Rank 49,904 : 15
        Rank 99,985 : 31
        Rank 249,988 : 56
        Rank 499,335 : 80

        1. MarkyMarkovic
          • 10 Years
          8 years, 5 months ago

          Cheers, not quite what I was expecting/after but cheers nonetheless!! 😛

    4. RangerMouse
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Butland
      Rose - Bellerin - Moreno
      Ozil - Sanchez - Firmino- Mahrez
      Kane - Lukaku - Ighalo

      Subs: Henessey, Gosling, Zouma, Simpson

      4.9mill ITB, on a wildcard, last call for help. I feel I need Aguero but struggling to find funds. What do I do? Zouma to Wollscheid is probably a good start.

      1. Horlicks esq.
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        You start Hennessy thats for sure.

    5. PM
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Cabaye to Firrmino for a 4 pt hit?

      1. Horlicks esq.
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        No way.

        1. PM
          • 14 Years
          8 years, 5 months ago

          Thanks counselor

    6. Blue Gaffer
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Please help.

      Begovic, Hennessey
      Janmaat, Coates, Bellerin, Simpson, Gamboa
      Mane, Hazard, Sanchez, KDB, Surman
      Vardy, Pelle, Lukaku

      1.Pelle & Mane------Kane & Cabaye -4
      2.Pelle & 1 of either Hazard/KDB/Sanchez----Aguero & Lanzini -4. Just concerned that if Hazard goes he will explode with Bournemouth (H) next game.
      3.Pelle-----Benteke
      4.Pelle-----Ighalo
      5.Surman---King 3-5-2
      6. Janmaat---Moreno keep Pelle for AV (H)
      7. Any other suggestions?

      1. The Hindu Monkey
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Pelle for Ighalo - bank the cash and wait until next week

    7. Team Cruel
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Hope Stoke post their team 13:58, want to know if I can bring in Wolly

      1. Jax
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        unlikely.

      2. Eden Hazardous
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Wally plays for Arsenal 😉

        1. Team Cruel
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 8 Years
          8 years, 5 months ago

          Wolly not Wally!

          1. Jax
            • 14 Years
            8 years, 5 months ago

            he's joking

      3. Danstoke82
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Wolly will start.

        Nailed alongside Shawcross

    8. Horlicks esq.
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Mahrez or Yaya to start!?

    9. Sweetpea
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Alexis falling again tonight.

      Thats 0.3m in a week he;s scored a brace. The yellow flag doesn't help but who are these imbeciles?

      1. Jax
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        yeah nuts. Sunderland and villa next.

      2. Horlicks esq.
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        guilty.

      3. Leaf
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Nor , SUN , avl as well

      4. Hibbo
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Let them sell Sweetpea.

    10. Etch
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      KdB to Coutinho/Firmino for a free transfer?

      1. Jax
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        no.

      2. Vasily
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        I definitely would.

    11. adased
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Should I captain
      A)Sanchez
      B)Coutinho
      C)Vardy
      D)Kane

      1. Daaf
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        From this lot I would go D or A

    12. Sepp Blattered
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Coutinho or Firminho..

      1. Jax
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        Firm

      2. Colonel Shoe 肝池
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 5 months ago

        cout if fit

    13. fusen
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 5 months ago

      Currently playing Alderweireld (che) and leaving Richards (Wat) on the bench

      am I ignoring fixtures too much and just going for the big name player?