The Pre-match Preamble – Gameweek 31

There’s nothing like the exhilaration of a double Gameweek to wake us from the slumber of an international break.

Sadly, Gameweek 31 looks far from exhilarating.

For the second time in the matter of weeks, we’re destined to root through Chris Ramsey’s QPR squad like grappling grannies at a jumble sale, desperately trying to find something of value other than the chipped china teapot that is Charlie Austin.

Seeking cheap thrills, we’re even eyeing up Aston Villa’s Christian Benteke and Gabby Agbonlahor like tickets in the tom-bola. If we’re lucky, our numbers might come up and we’ll get to claim some lavender bath salts. Such is the scale of the double Gameweek prize that awaits us.

We all know that the potential is limited, particularly with a blank looming but we’re internationally broken: craving Fantasy Football excitement from any possible source, however unlikely.

We don’t want to return to our squads and save our transfers. We don’t want to bring in Kyle Naughton. We’re looking for something that can relight the fire and, if we’re not careful, we can make careless errors trying to find it.

I’m fighting the urge and pondering the most subdued and ineffectual of all transfers – swapping my goalkeeper, albeit for Brad Guzan, a double Gameweek asset.

I’d love to gamble on Benteke and slap the armband on his bicep, but I know all too well that this compulsion is fuelled by a fortnight of inactivity. I know that international football can be just as damaging to my Fantasy thinking as it is the weary legs of my players.

On that note, an article this week revealed that Arsene Wenger’s Gunners haven’t won a single match following internationals this season. Interestingly, the same article highlighted that QPR have suffered most from such breaks. They’ve been consigned to three straight defeats, scoring just two goals in the process.

Suddenly I’m reconsidering that china teapot.