Preamble

The Pre-Match Preamble – Gameweek 1

Here we are again. You’re desperately searching for inspiration. I’m desperately clinging to the hope that the site can keep serving pages under the weight of last-minute tinkerers. We do this every year.

It’s inspired me to think about the nine months to come and jot down some of the other inevitabilities that lie in wait. I know there’s little I can do to stop these things happening: I can only sit back and let them take effect and try to enjoy the ride.

I’ll flirt with Leighton Baines…
Everton’s hateful opening fixtures have at least allowed me to overlook dear old Leighton for now, but I know that his rakish charm will get the better of me eventually. The mop-top full-back is just so tempting – the promise of bountiful assists and beautifully flighted free-kicks are so alluring. I always seem to miss them, never really making my move at the right time. Baines will toy with me and I’ll go on falling for it just after he’s given his best form to everybody else.

John Terry will hurt me…
I just can’t bring myself to welcome Terry into my dressing room. It’s not some strange allegiance to “Team Bridge” or even the likelihood that he’ll photo bomb my wedding. I just look for every excuse to overlook him – I’m convinced that Branislav Ivanovic is worthy of the extra cash, hoping that the Serb will see me right but, deep down, I know Terry will get his way and find me out.

I’ll sign Glen Johnson…
Somehow, this happens every year. I’ll analyse the statistics and they’ll scream goals and assists. Johnson will then pick up a knock, keep it hidden and play within himself for 20 matches, providing me with a pittance for my costly outlay. He’ll then reveal he’s been playing with a debilitating elbow injury and promise to turn it on once I’ve finally sold him. It sounds like I’ve sussed his ploy but I’m pretty sure I’ll be suckered again.

…And Romelu Lukaku. Six times
Those bulging muscles. That raw pace and brutish awkwardness. Defences can’t handle him and, at times, Lukaku will look totally unplayable. He’ll look like he’s about to embark on a run of goals that will leave more expensive striking options trailing in his wake. Then he’ll go missing. For matches, for groups of matches. I’ll sell him. You’ll sell him. Several weeks later he’ll leave Vincent Kompany on his bum and look a world-beater, just in time for Everton’s fixtures to pick up. We’ll get him back in. Rinse and repeat.

I’ll be stuck with a time waster and lose a fortune…
Every time I go shopping in the Fantasy equivalent of Lidl, I end up with an asset that will sit there, mocking me like Winston Bogarde clutching his Chelsea bonus cheque. Whoever this turns out to be, he’ll contribute nothing to my weekly total and gradually slide down in value until I’ve lost 0.3. I’ll watch it happen, convince myself I’ll get rid but always have something more urgent to sort. Like rushing to buy Glen Johnson.

I’ll invite Kolarov in by Christmas…
I seem to be haunted by full-backs. Koloraov was the first, the original. Like Johnson, he has that the uncanny knack of tempting me in with promises of goal and assist avalanches. Unlike Johnson, he does occasionally deliver for me – just often enough for me to hold him while Gael Clichy comes in and plays a string of blinders. Kolarov will never offer me security. That won’t stop me sniffing round and swallowing the bitter pill again.

I’ll go mad on Sunderland for a double Gameweek…
It’s always Sunderland. I’m not really sure why, perhaps it’s the weather or the fact that they have one of the most uninspiring Fantasy squads around: it seems there needs to be some reason to consider John O’Shea once a season. Eventually, John and his mates always get their moment in the sun. That double Gameweek that has us turning to a mediocre midfielder and praying for points. Once it was Stephane Sessegnon, then it was Adam Johnson. Now, it’s Jack Rodwell’s turn.

I’ll waste my Wildcard…
Yeah, I know that the early international break is the optimum time but I’m far too clever to do that. Instead, I’ll fool myself that I can fix my team without playing my Wildcard early and be convinced that, eventually, there’ll be an even better window of opportunity on its way. There won’t be. I’ll play it anyway for fear of taking it into Easter and it will be frittered away signing players I should have got after Gameweek 3. Idiot.

I’ll moan about the template…
Why? Because I was silly enough to miss the bandwagons and now I can’t bring myself to swallow my pride and jump on board. Like the rest of you are waving the funds you saved in my face and I’m left weeping, watching Aaron Ramsey and Yaya Toure rip my heart to shreds. I won’t acknowledge this. I’ll blame the game and everyone’s lack of imagination. I’ll wait for Theo Walcott to come back from injury and tell myself that he can help me close a 200-point gap.

I’ll convince myself I’ve learned some lessons…
I say all this. I list my flaws and habits and yet, when I suffer a “failed” season like the last, I manage to convince myself that I can still take some positives. That I’ve learned some lessons that will see me strive to new heights next season. It’s all nonsense of course. Every season is different and many of these “lessons” won’t apply in a new scenario. It’s kind of comforting but, really, who am I kidding?

Somehow, I’ll find a way of considering Victor Moses…
This needs no explanation. Well it does, but even the most gifted medical minds would be baffled.

I’ll do it all over again, anyway…
Of course. This is Fantasy Football and I still love it.

Mark Mark created the beast. He's now looking to tame it.

3,544 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Fifa las vegas
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Try if you can!

    Sky league: 8041078

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    1. Sean.
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      i'll give it a whirl

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      1. Fifa las vegas
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        Thanks and GL

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  2. MountainBeach
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    I've changed my name on the official FPL site, why is it still appearing as the old one? Any idea?

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    1. Damo.
      • 14 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Just give it a sec and log out/in

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    2. TorresMagic™
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • Has Moderation Rights
      • 15 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      It will change later.

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    3. Saniul
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      If it is, you'll be corrected after the next update.

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  3. DropPointsNotBombs
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    I'm feeling confident. All I need is Stoke to dominate Villa and I will have a healthy lead in my main league

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  4. Scotch Jock
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 13 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    GW2 team selected!

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    1. Fifa las vegas
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Same 😎

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  5. Az
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • Has Moderation Rights
    • 14 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    my gawd the man u team is bad.

    come on siggy.

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    1. The Finnisher
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Swansea team not much better

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  6. Saniul
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Last couple of seasons, in the United defence, the pecking order was more like.

    Rightbacks: Rafael, Valencia.
    Leftbacks: Evra, Buttner.
    Centrebacks: Vidic, Evans, Ferdinand, Jones.

    Yeah, it is not exactly an assuring thing that only one of the those eight is starting today.
    Doesn't look like an exaggeration to me.

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    1. Nevi
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Clean sheet, here we come!

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  7. The Machine
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Wow some uninvited attention seekers joining my huh league in the final minutes. No way to kick them out

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    1. Aaron Ramessi - Straya
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      just make a new one and invite the people you had originally to it

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      1. TorresMagic™
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • Has Moderation Rights
        • 15 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        Starting in GW2?

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        1. Aaron Ramessi - Straya
          • 10 Years
          9 years, 10 months ago

          arghh yeah forgot about...just ignore them then nate

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      2. The Machine
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        Lol just realized I accidentally made it classic. Goodbye trolls

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        1. Zombie
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 10 months ago

          You made the most basic mistake and calling them trolls 😀 ?

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          1. The Machine
            • 10 Years
            9 years, 10 months ago

            Yup. They were not invited

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            1. Zombie
              • 11 Years
              9 years, 10 months ago

              but even the invited people were invited for a H2H league but now you accidentally made it a classic league. I think they all should leave 😛

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  8. Zombie
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    So why can't I whom I am up against or the list of matches in any of my H2H leagues ?

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    1. BayerNevaLusen
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Im wondering the same thing myself..

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    2. TorresMagic™
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • Has Moderation Rights
      • 15 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Too early.

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    3. Sean.
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      they start GW2

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      1. Zombie
        • 11 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        I thought so too but seems no way to check when do they start. or is there ?

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  9. President John F. Keninnsie
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Triggerlips has Lovren 😮 and no Young.

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    1. Aaron Ramessi - Straya
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      casual!

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    2. Zombie
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Hey Insie, when does the Grave shift start ? this week or sometime later?

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      1. President John F. Keninnsie
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        This week.

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        1. Zombie
          • 11 Years
          9 years, 10 months ago

          thanks...was wondering coz couldn't see the list of matches.

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  10. Wild Rover
    • 13 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    UFPL

    Mutch Young Mata Ramsey Bojan Rooney Austin

    Would you start Siggy ahead of any of these? 😐

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    1. amol
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Yes Mutch

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    2. Syd.
      • 15 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Yes. The United defence looks weak

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    3. Sean.
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      he's rooted on my bench

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    4. SW6
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Maybe Mutch

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    5. Hamstergod
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Mutch/Austin seem the most likely to me, Hull has decent defense, so the QPR game could be close.

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  11. Zep
    • 14 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Liking the look of my GW2 team... 😎

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    1. Piggs Boson
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      +1

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    2. President John F. Keninnsie
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      But Caulker on the bench... 🙁

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    3. BayerNevaLusen
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Captain Eriksen! 😉

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  12. Doesn't Mata
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    What does De Gea bar means?

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    1. Zep
      • 14 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      😀

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    2. Dark_Mata
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Haha great namw

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  13. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
    • 14 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    looks like lovren is the big casual favourite

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    1. Syd.
      • 15 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Liverpool casuals

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    2. amol
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Have him in my squad

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  14. Jacketts Potatoes
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Is it wrong to have just looked at the teams in my ML and thought they look shite

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    1. super zlatan
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      One of my main rivals has no Chelsea coverage!

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      1. Jacketts Potatoes
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        Ouch. Not good.

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      2. thes7s
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        One of my rivals has only Chelsea, Man Utd and L'pool players.

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        1. Jacketts Potatoes
          • 10 Years
          9 years, 10 months ago

          Lots in mine with no Chelski and no Utd. But plenty of Everton and City.

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      3. Nevi
        • 13 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        The only other person in my league to ever have a sub 100k year (I guess that makes him my main rival) tripled up on everton (Howard, Baines & Mirallas).

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        1. Jacketts Potatoes
          • 10 Years
          9 years, 10 months ago

          A few in mine have gone Everton mad. Think people just look at last season and expect the same. I'll monitor but not too arsed at the mo

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    2. Rolf Harris Saint Germain
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Im still not able too see the ones in mine

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      1. Jacketts Potatoes
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        Just log out and in again. Worked for me

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    3. Nevi
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      No, it is not wrong. Hopefully, for your sake, you are right.

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      1. Jacketts Potatoes
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        Me too lol

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  15. Nevi
    • 13 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Someone in my ML captained Crouch...I wonder if he knows something I do not...

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    1. Rats Ass
      • 14 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Maybe he is Crouch?

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  16. NATSTER
    • 13 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    So, my first bet of the season on Bartley is failed.

    Lesson learned.

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    1. Revival
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Aren't Swansea signing someone who plays in his position anyway?

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    2. Fresco
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      I had to find 0.5m and there was nothing else to downgrade than Naylor to Bartley. Unfortunate..

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  17. thes7s
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    The armband looks fine on Studge (Capitano)

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  18. ADucksBehind
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Anyone know when head to head lead fixtures are up?

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    1. Hamstergod
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      After the first round concludes, or after the first scores, one or the other, can't remember exactly, it did take a while from what I remember.

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      1. ADucksBehind
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 12 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        Thanks! Odd that they don't show up before the gameweek starts

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  19. Mr_Partridge
    • 9 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Anyone else get Sanchez in?

    Palace are going to get a can of Whoop Ass today

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    1. Dark_Mata
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Me

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    2. Aaron Ramessi - Straya
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      will wait for team value to rise

      ramsey captain 😎

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  20. Kante Me If You Can
    • 9 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Prediction for tonight games!

    MU 3-0 Swansea
    Leicester 1-1 Everton
    QPR 1-0 Hull
    Stoke 2-1 AVilla
    WBA 1-3 Sunderland
    WHU 0-2 Spurs
    Arsenal 4-0 CrystalP
    Liverpool 2-2 Southampton
    Newcastle 0-3 City
    Burnley 0-2 Chelsea

    Lets play some game while we waiting MU vs Swan game

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    1. Mr_Partridge
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Would love a Southampton and Swansea goal

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    2. Bøwstring The Carp
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      2-1
      0-0
      1-1
      2-1
      1-2
      0-2
      2-0
      3-1
      1-2
      0-2

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    3. Dark_Mata
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Too obvious, something weird will happen

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    4. Hamstergod
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      MU 3:2
      LEI 0:1
      QPR 0:0
      Stoke 3:0
      WBA 1:1
      WHU 0:2
      Arsenal 3:0
      Liver 3:2
      New 1:0
      Bur 0:2

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      1. Dark_Mata
        • 13 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        Liking the Jordy result

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    5. Dark_Mata
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      I think spurs will get 4 or 5 against a terrible west ham

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    6. TheDogTor
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      2-2
      1-0
      2-0
      2-0
      1-2
      1-1
      3-1
      3-0
      1-2
      0-4

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    7. Bauerhaus 24
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      2-0
      0-3
      1-2
      4-1
      1-1
      0-2
      2-0
      0-1
      1-3
      0-2

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  21. Bøwstring The Carp
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Many go with Sturridge (c) apart from Doos and myself?

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    1. Long Juan Silva
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      o/

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    2. amol
      • 9 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Me

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  22. super zlatan
    • 13 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Any Rooney captainers feeling nervous he might blank?

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    1. Fifa las vegas
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Yea

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      1. super zlatan
        • 13 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        I am one of those ppl

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    2. Rivaldo Izback
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Yep.. early game curse.. 🙁

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  23. Piggs Boson
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Barkley plummeted to 16.8% in the end...

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    1. SW6
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Guaranteed to drop 0.3 this week I reckon. I'd be tempted to pick him up for ~6.0 when he's back from injury

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      1. TheDogTor
        • 13 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        For sure, in 8 weeks he'll be a bargain

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    2. beric
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Show me your team gb

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  24. All Out Attack
    • 9 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    HEREEEEEEE WEEEEEEEEEEEEE GOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ftx-xwmEYQ
    Begovic(Myhill)
    Chester, Aanholt, Haidara(Moore, Wisdom)
    Mata, Eriksen, Arnautovic, Sterling(Rodwell)
    Surridge. Costa, Rooney

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    1. Rivaldo Izback
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Tha attack line looks like a war machine 🙂 that defense line though... scary 😀

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  25. NightMahrez
    • 9 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Boys! I'm new here, but here to grind it out 😉 Good luck to all, seen many good XI's posted here 😉
    My 11 ronins:
    Bego
    Terry - Debuchy - Lovren
    Mata - Ramsey - Henderson - Eriksen (sig for gw 2+3)
    Costa - Jovetic - Rooney

    It's pretty standard and all-round, had a really strong last season (my second overall), but messed up early last year to top finish just outside top 5k, trying to avoid using the WC until GW4-6 and with this team I can easily balance potential bargains such as tadic/de jong, riviere/pelle, see who starts: rose/davies kola/clichy, find the good, cheap defences and attacks etc to rotate in players like coutinho/sturridge and upgrade with double city/arsenal from gw 4> It's like a holding team so I'm not stressing. Last year the first 3-4 GW was a mess, took -12 2 times to make it work.. What u think?

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    1. Fifa las vegas
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Nice

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    2. Jacketts Potatoes
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Well we will have a better idea later but for now, best of luck mate and welcome to this mad place

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    3. Rupert The Horse
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Get a grav, people will remember you better.

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  26. gravless
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Sigurddson 20/1 first goalscorer with Willy Hill.

    £10 on that - yes please.

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    1. Winston.
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 10 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Hopefully he is...but would not bet on that 20/1.

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  27. FortunesAlwaysHiding
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Anyone got a good stream for the United game?

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    1. Willis.
      • 12 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      DON'T check out nutjob.net

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      1. FortunesAlwaysHiding
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 10 Years
        9 years, 10 months ago

        Got one, ta.

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  28. Herman Toothrot
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 11 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Any RMWCT threads going?

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    1. super zlatan
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      Looool

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  29. Winston.
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 10 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    Could the surprise be that we all want to get Sanchez in in the late evening...or what's your guess on GW1 surprises?... says Ramsey owner here.

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  30. Your Mum's Athletic
    • 12 Years
    9 years, 10 months ago

    My 'rival' has left caulker on the bench 😆

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    1. super zlatan
      • 13 Years
      9 years, 10 months ago

      My rival left bojangles on the bench.

      Wtf

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