Opinion

Pre-match Preamble – Gameweek 34

Few players push our buttons like Romelu Lukaku. As a Fantasy Football asset, he appears to relish seeking out new ways to frustrate us.

It’s almost fitting that Lukaku should choose this current Gameweek 34 scenario to come to the fore once again; to adopt the role of ringmaster in this circus of uncertainty we’re now forced to spectate.

So many of us bought a ticket ahead of Gameweek 33, confidently throwing down the Wildcard, ripping our squads apart and rolling the armband over Lukaku’s bicep. We had such high hopes.

Now, in a week that saw the Belgian inevitably fail to deliver on his promise, he’s dominating our thinking again – a component of Roberto Martinez’ “masterplan” to somehow salvage some credit from Everton’s spiralling season.

Lukaku is apparently carrying a groin problem. He may well have trained ahead of today’s meaningless encounter with Southampton but with Martinez facing the two biggest matches in his Everton tenure after this weekend, the smart money is on Lukaku sitting out the Saints clash.

While it was difficult to foresee this situation play out, we perhaps should have known better but to pin hopes on the most frustrating Fantasy asset, playing for the most inconsistent side in the Premier League.

Now, with the likes of Ross Barkely, Phil Jagielka and Aaron Lennon ably supporting Lukaku’s provocation, we face the prospect of throwing points hits at the problem. We’re almost as desperate as Roberto.

There’s a lesson to be learned.

The Double Gameweek/Bench Boost combination appeared to be a potent end-of-season weapon, used to punish the unprepared. Blinded by the promise of unimaginable three-figure hauls, many of us looked on Lukaku and a cast of unreliable mediocrity with new eyes.

We’ve been stung by end-of-season agendas – Roberto’s trying to save his job while down the road, Jugen Klopp’s plotting European glory. I’m not certain that upsetting the end-of-season plans of a few thousand Fantasy Football managers has entered their thinking. Neither of them returned my calls.

I’m still blaming myself. I begrudgingly waved goodbye to proven talent and welcomed Yannick Bolasie into my dressing room. On Wednesday night I was contemplating swapping him out for James Milner. How did it come to this, exactly?

We all know the answer. We gladly opted in on the deal and are now funnelling into the Big Top, a procession of sweaty palmed Fantasy managers just hoping that the Gameweeek 34 circus can still play out as expected.

Lukaku is faking a limp as he welcomes us to our seats and we’re all wondering if we’re the clowns.

It’s done now, let’s try to enjoy the show.

Mark Mark created the beast. He's now looking to tame it.

1,872 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Richd
    • 11 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    The Klopp press conference being when it was at least stopped us taking further hits on Liverpool assets to further dig ourselfs a hole.

    Most have 3 Pool. Lets just hope. Even if they play one each they aint too bad a pick.

    1. Kryten
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Yeah center backs rotated for sure full back best bet weres flanno hiding

  2. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
    • 14 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    what will be the reaction of us lukaku keeps when he inevitably isn't listed in the squad today?

    1. Worried - will lukaku start midweek?
    2. Brush it off - It's fine I knew the risks and didn't see anyone better, he starts v liverpool
    3. Despair - Why on earth did I keep lukaku
    4. Anger - Swear words

    1. Richd
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      my reaction will be lol@lukaku owners, as i'd expect nothing less if he does make the squad.

    2. Forza
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Always 4.

    3. De_Roiste
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      2.. But not really that there wasn't anyone better.. Just that we already had him in and changes were needed elsewhere (CRY)

    4. Trigg ⭐️
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      I'm expecting the worst. Will be delighted if he starts today.

    5. Revival
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Prob despair knowing I could have done Lukaku > Martial (-4)

    6. DeadStarComing
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Yep, all four for me. With a lot of alcohol in between each....

      1. DeadStarComing
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Actually it would be 4,3,2,1 for me

    7. rozzo
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      I got rid for Martial on a free.

      Lukaku was awesome earlier on in the season and i captained him for 4 straight games he scored but he and Everton have been woeful really.

      Even if the transfer backfires he isnt going to massively outscore Martial anyway with the form he is in.

  3. rozzo
    • 10 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Looking at a few teams in my minileagues it appears a lot have wildcarded this week not realising you cant play two chips in the same week.

    A lot of wasted bench boosts and triple captains in the remaining weeks.

  4. Bubz
    • 10 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Do Lukaku keepers actually think he's going to start today?

    1. Epic Fail
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      No, but only because I have kept him.

    2. Ziro Becomes One
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      we can hope. 😉

    3. Trigg ⭐️
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      If he has a chance today, he will start in the derby.

      Not worth a hit to get him out when I am certain he will play one, hoping he will play 2.

      1. Bubz
        • 10 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Surely it is worth a hit. Liverpool away is a bad fixture, especially given Everton's form. Bringing in a Martial or Sturridge could net you 15+ more points if they play both games of their double

        1. Trigg ⭐️
          • 11 Years
          8 years, 2 months ago

          Already had Martial and what makes you think Sturridge will get more gametime than Lukaku?

          1. Bubz
            • 10 Years
            8 years, 2 months ago

            Studge has been starting every prem game recently and was rested in Europe. Dont see why not

            1. Trigg ⭐️
              • 11 Years
              8 years, 2 months ago

              A lot of games coming up and Origi deserves some time on the pitch.

              You might be right, but swapping uncertainty for uncertainty wasn't what I needed.

              1. Bubz
                • 10 Years
                8 years, 2 months ago

                Origi and Studge play well together though, could easily play both. But yeah, it's a lottery, who knows

    4. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      no, more of a situation where nobody else stood out

      already had martial, sturridge probably won't play 3 games in a row and carroll, well it's carroll and I got 2 wham already

      1. Bubz
        • 10 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Danny Studge will tear it up

        1. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
          • 14 Years
          8 years, 2 months ago

          tear his hamstrings?

    5. Demí
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      I know Acquafresca was adamant this morning. Bless him

      1. Bubz
        • 10 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        I had like an hour long debate with some gravless chap yesterday who would not believe that Lukaku wont start

        1. Dot Polka Dot
          • 8 Years
          8 years, 2 months ago

          gravist

          1. Bubz
            • 10 Years
            8 years, 2 months ago

            The fact I spent an hour talking to a gravless means im anti gravist surely

    6. Ayew Serious
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      No

  5. It’s gonna Ben Mee
    • 10 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Does it usually take this long to update?! Come on!

    1. Slartibartfast
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Usually 30mins-ish

    2. Ayew Serious
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      It usually takes another 20+ minutes

    3. Rian23
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      usually 30mins. but recently taken longer

  6. Slartibartfast
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 9 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    People with Utd players (most here I imagine!). Do we want:

    a) Villa's relegation to be mathematically done before KO today
    b) Villa to still have something (theoretically) to play for so the game might be more open
    c) Doesn't matter, they've given up and will be poor anyway

    1. Bøwstring The Carp
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      C

      1. Slartibartfast
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Yeah, that's fair.

    2. Team Cruel
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Does not matter one bit

    3. BbBb
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      C

    4. Revival
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Villa completely gave up back in GW26 anyway, makes no difference whatsoever

  7. Taffer
    • 10 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Everyone see that Can is out for 4 weeks?! Hellooo Milner.

  8. Demí
    • 13 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Scorecheck?

    0 with 29 to play

    1. Epic Fail
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Green arrow there

    2. Ziro Becomes One
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      0 with 31 to play. I win.

    3. Evs
      • Has Moderation Rights
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      0 with 30 to play (hopefully)

    4. Taffer
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      lol - 29 to play - that is the stuff of FPL dreams

      1. Demí
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Makes a change from 29 with 0 to play

    5. Kevtheotter
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Same

    6. Royal5
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      -4 here

    7. Saniul
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      0 with 31 to play

    8. mojoindojo
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      29?

      1. Demí
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        14 DGW x 2 + Mahrez. Wasn't including captain. Also forgot my hit. Whoops

        1. Ziro Becomes One
          • 9 Years
          8 years, 2 months ago

          Lol. -4 then.

          1. Ziro Becomes One
            • 9 Years
            8 years, 2 months ago

            forgot the imo. 😉

    9. BbBb
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      -12 with 30 to play

    10. Annie
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Theoretical 29

      1. Demí
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        True

    11. Kun Tozser
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      -4 24 to play

    12. #WinterIsNotComing
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      -8 with 21 to play

  9. Bubz
    • 10 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    How much bloody rest does a centre half need?? If Sakho gets rested again vs Bournemouth then I don't think footballers deserve to be called athletes anymore

    1. Richd
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      At least Lovren and Clyne will play both.

    2. Kevtheotter
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      This

    3. Evs
      • Has Moderation Rights
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      ... Add Lovren to that list as well please.

    4. Epic Fail
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      They should be able to play 120 mins plus pens every day. Bunch of pansies.

    5. Forza
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      They should be forced to match a marathon or a cycling race to see how it's done.

  10. DGW blindness is for Kinnea…
    • 11 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    DGWS ARE FOR KINNEAR!!!!

    1. BbBb
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Can't wait

  11. Lizard Lips
    • 11 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Really regret not doing KDB and Lukaku to Ozil and Sturridge now. 🙁

    1. Taffer
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      That would have been a dreadful transfer for a hit IMO/

    2. Revival
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Why sell KDB do?

  12. fickle
    • 8 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    it may not be relevant for FPL but the early kickoff is MASSIVE for both clubs, should be interesting to watch

    1. Epic Fail
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Talk for yourself.

      Naismith (c3)

      1. Colonel Shoe 肝池
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        (po)?

  13. Kryten
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 10 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Gw 35 will be full of hits for me all eggs in the 34 basket

    1. Revival
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Could workout, who knows what players will be injured or suspended come GW35 anyway

  14. Arteta
    • 8 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Captain Mesut! 😛

    1. Ziro Becomes One
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      talk about narcissism. 😀

  15. Ayew Serious
    • 8 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    The quiet before the storm

  16. Kevtheotter
    • 12 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    As a Newcastle fan I'm going to be rooting for the Mackems today. Strange feeling. Draw would do also

    2-2

    What you think guys?

    1. DGW blindness is for Kinnea…
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Same

    2. Epic Fail
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Weirdly I think a Sunderland win is better for you.

      1. Epic Fail
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Oh, that's what you said 😀

    3. Chenku╰☆╮
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      norwich all the way.. 4-2

    4. Jafalad
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Has a draw written all over it. I hope SUN win too to keep it interesting. Might stay up and watch it. Just watching Super Rugby and agonizing over Mitrovic lolz.

  17. Numb
    • 9 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    @Evs - I pressed my chip button the other day and it said it was active but when I went in this morning it wasn't. I worked out you have to click submit team at the bottom.

    1. Kryten
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Many brown trousers for people reading that

      1. Numb
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        It's because I'd already set my team earlier and thought I just needed to click the chip button. Lucky I went in to check!

    2. Evs
      • Has Moderation Rights
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Oh dear... 😥

      God knows what I've done

      1. Numb
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        You'll be ok probably

    3. walkman666
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Hmmmmm. Uh oh. I do not recall such complexities for all out attack.

  18. Van der Faart
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 12 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    What's all this confirm BB button. I thought if they all turn green your good to go? I can't remember what I did last night.

    1. Ziro Becomes One
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      have to press confirm after you click the BB. Same as when you change a sub into your XI

      1. It’s gonna Ben Mee
        • 10 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Are you fecking joking?

        1. Ziro Becomes One
          • 9 Years
          8 years, 2 months ago

          ask others if you think I am.

        2. Numb
          • 9 Years
          8 years, 2 months ago

          No I had the same issue

      2. Jonsta
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        troll?

        1. Ziro Becomes One
          • 9 Years
          8 years, 2 months ago

          no. this is true! ask others.

      3. Sylas
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        I agree! This is exactly how it works!

      4. Vedas
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        People are bricking reading this

    2. Shultan
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Lucky i checked my team beforehand! I'd pressed the chip but didnt confirm team so when i went to back in chip wasnt active

    3. walkman666
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Right, but I checked all week and the site said B was active and everything was green. Why would this revert?

    4. Fpl Richie
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      If I did bench boost and team confirm about 5 days ago, that's fine right?

  19. Rupert The Horse
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 11 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Ugh.
    Emre Can out for 4 weeks, thats a massive massive blow.

    1. Ziro Becomes One
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Good for Lukaku

  20. Lizard Lips
    • 11 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Anyone else resist Lukaku to Mitrovic? I know Ronka did.

    1. Ayew Serious
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      It seems he did Jags to Dawson

    2. J0E
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • Has Moderation Rights
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      I couldn't resist. Had enough of Lukaku. Owners are welcome to his huge points haul. 🙂

      1. Evs
        • Has Moderation Rights
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Gonna bite you

        1. J0E
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • Has Moderation Rights
          • 14 Years
          8 years, 2 months ago

          Probably. 🙂 Living dangerously as the season comes to a close. I'll be back to my dullard ways next season though.

          1. Ziro Becomes One
            • 9 Years
            8 years, 2 months ago

            time for a grav change it feels like.

          2. Lizard Lips
            • 11 Years
            8 years, 2 months ago

            Were you not tempted to squeeze Sturridge in? 🙂

      2. DeadStarComing
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        You'll need a Horlicks tonight Jonty, you little maverick!

      3. vickyz r3d d3vil$ !!!
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Great ! One of the mods on our side ..:-)

        He's in a relegation fight ..surely nailed

    3. Jafalad
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Nope. Made that very trade 😕

    4. Az
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • Has Moderation Rights
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      did lukaku to sturridge. time for risks!

  21. St. Joseph
    • 8 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Go saints!!!!

  22. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
    • 14 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    comfortably sitting back and watching a pl game, can't say I have done that for a while

    norwich v sunderland bring it on boys. Have a feeling sunderland may batter norwich, klose a big loss

    1. Ziro Becomes One
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      No OMG update today then?

      1. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        saved for dgw

  23. Kurtinho
    • 9 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Triple captain Alexis. Let's do this! 😀

  24. Back to Back Ballacks
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 13 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    If anyone is to blame for this season, a name that has to go top of the list is Big Dora, what a bitch.

  25. Sweetpea
    • 11 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Lukaku and Jagielka to Studge and Evans -4.

    Wish me luck.

    1. Lizard Lips
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Great move. Really regret not bringing in Sturridge as well.

      1. Sweetpea
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        What moves did you do?

  26. Lizard Lips
    • 11 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    This having to submit team once you press bench boost has got me very worried.

    1. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      if your bench ain't green you in trouble

      1. Kevtheotter
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Ahhh it was very green

  27. FPL Maldini
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 9 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Emre Can out for 4 weeks definitely good news for Milner owners right?

    1. Royal5
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Could drop deeper?

      1. FPL Maldini
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        But more nailed at least

        1. Royal5
          • 12 Years
          8 years, 2 months ago

          I guess. Thought he was pretty nailed anyway though.

      2. Shah G
        • 10 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Not really, Allen/Lucas will play deep.. Milner plays Toni Kroos role..

    2. TheBusDriver
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      No. There's lucas and allen and that young lad.

  28. #WinterIsNotComing
    • 10 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    playing chip and not confirming :d 😀 😀 😀

  29. Van der Faart
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 12 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    Need the update. Can't cope with not knowing if I confirmed BB

    1. Lizard Lips
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Same.

      1. Van der Faart
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        I dont remember having to press confirm when I played AOA though.

        1. TheBusDriver
          • 8 Years
          8 years, 2 months ago

          You must have. I played TC last week. Luckily, I didn't confirm 😀

        2. TheBusDriver
          • 8 Years
          8 years, 2 months ago

          forgot to confrim

    2. Epic Fail
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Did you only press is last minute or something?

    3. DeadStarComing
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      It shows a message "Bench Boost Update In Progress" if you done it. Refresh your page.

      1. Ayew Serious
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Lol

      2. Kevtheotter
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        Troll

    4. zencro 42
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      I know I didn't use the chip, I am already screwed.

      1. TheBusDriver
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 2 months ago

        lol

    5. Bubz
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      Do you have short term memory loss?

    6. Van der Faart
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      I pressed it last night but don't remember what I did after

    7. Art Vandelay
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 2 months ago

      You would have received the confirmatory email by now.. 😆

  30. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
    • 14 Years
    8 years, 2 months ago

    saw this predicted lineup for liverpool online
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CgJ8yTtWcAA_hL5.jpg