Fantasy Chili Bowl – Captains Announcement

I hereby forward a motion that Indianapolis should be punished and must accept a doosra bench point deduction
first person to agree means its passed

Special Agent Diva Cooper turned to the next page. It was blank, save for two sentences from President Abraham Cheeseoid near the bottom of the page which read: 'Conduct a thorough and comprehensive global search, using the latest in data analysis and psychological profiling, to find a new recruit to fill this position. You could try reality TV and real estate, they seem popular places to find a president these days.'

Special Agent Cooper was leaning back in his chair pondering where to start his search when there was a knock on the door.

"Tech support."

"Enter."

The technician came in carrying an ancient laptop which looked like it would require a crank shaft to get started.

"Where would you like this computer?"

"Oh, just here is fine," said Special Agent Cooper, pointing to the desk in front of him. "What's your name?"

"Bernie Sauzee. Good to meet you..."

"Cooper, Diva Cooper. Hey, do you play Fantasy Football, specifically Fantasy Premier League?"

The colour drained out of Sauzee's face.

"Wh...wh..what?"

"You know, FPL," said Cooper casually.

Sauzee, lowering his voice to a whisper, replied: "You do know what happens if you get caught talking about anything other than Gridiron as Fantasy Football in these parts? And if you're caught using a work machine to play, heaven help you!"

Special Agent Cooper grinned.

"So that's a yes, then?"

"Of course!" said Sauzee, nonchalantly.

"Excellent. I need your help with a mission. It means I'll have to promote you."

"Sounds good. Where are we going?"

"First, we're heading north. Then we'll be here, there and everywhere. Welcome to the team, President Bernie Sauzee."

Any chance we can move the deadline for team submission to Friday afternoon? Seems a bit ludicrous that we have to submit before the Friday Press Conferences, especially with yellow flags against a few key players.

New Grav.

Athankyouverymuch, you've been a beautiful audience.

New FCB article incoming (probably) on Wednesday - this will include (amongst other things) all of the fixtures, confirmation of all the squads, and confirmation of the weekly team submission deadlines.

Dear organisers,

Can I politely suggest that we delay the deadline for confirming playing members of our FCB squads until 2 hours after the FPL deadline, so we can get an early look how each team is performing?

Just a thought...

Dear organisers
I think island based teams should get 20 point start

Late to the party but if someone needs to fill a spot I'd be happy to make up the numbers. Responsive via email and even live in American now so can throw out some good 'soccer' jargon. Such as, when a player gets into real estate he can beat the net minder by scoring in the upper ninety. Team link in profile.

2FT:
Bank: 0.1.

Heaton
Walker - Stones - Holebas
Sanchez - Coutinho - Sigurdsson - Sterling
Austin - Lukaku - Aguero
Subs: Pickford, Allen, Collins and Amat.

What do you think of my team?
I'm thinking I'm going to get Pedro for Sterling / Sigurdsson. What do you all mean?

For Special Agent Diva Cooper it was a relief to escape the clawing ninetiesness of the Tex-Files broom cupboard office. He and President Bernie Sauzee were heading north from Washington in a black 1993 Ford Taurus.

"So where are we going boss? And do I call you boss if I'm a president and you're a special agent?"

"You don't need to call me boss. I'm a president and a special agent. I'm President Franklin Diva Roosevelt on presidential business and Special Agent Diva Cooper when I'm embedded with the FBI. For dramatic purposes I also sometimes go by the name President Diva Underwood. The presidents can adopt other names and titles as the circumstances require. We're heading to Canada to meet a fellow president. He's been staking out a casino called One-Eyed Jack's."

The pair were waiting to cross the border at Niagara when President Sauzee saw a bedraggled creature walking down the side of the road. 

"Look at this poor guy, he looks like he's just been over Niagara Falls in barrel."

Special Agent Cooper looked up from scanning reports on Diego Costa's fitness and muttered: "Well I never, Meles Meles."

"What's that?"

"Latin. Follow me."

Special Agent Cooper greeted the wet one.

"My old friend, how are you? And what happened to you? You look nearly as wet as that time we found you washed up on a beach in the Seychelles."

"Diva, is that you? Boy, am I pleased to see a familiar face. I was trying to cross into Canada because my job's coming to an end and I fancied a change of scenery. But some burly security guys tried to stop me, saying I had to finish my term. I escaped them by running away and hiding in a barrel, but someone must have knocked it over. I went rolling down the street in the barrel, fell into the river and went over the falls."

"Well, if you're looking for a change, today is your lucky day. We're putting a team together to tackle this Chili Bowl plot. You're penchant for template differentials could be invaluable to us. We're heading north to meet more of the team. Will you join us?"

"Sounds good. Can you get me across the border?"

"Definitely. Hop in."

The three men got in the Taurus. 

"Oh, I haven't introduced you," said Special Agent Cooper to the other two. "President Bernie Sauzee meet President Barack o'Badger."

Rolls Royce mate need your Fpl id

We're having issues here in Hawaii. Turns our John Terry's dog has gone round mounting all the island dogs and made us a lot of enemies.

Good luck Boston Hawks.

Lets get this party started.

Special Agent Diva Cooper could tell in an instant that One-Eyed Jack's was a seedy dive. The cedar building was dingy and the thread-bare red carpets had darkened to a shade of burgundy. It was hard to tell whether it was blood or they simply hadn't been cleaned in two decades. Overall, it had the look of a joint John Terry's Dog might escape to for a little R&R.

Presidents o'Badger and Sauzee were briefed by Special Agent Cooper.

"One of our presidents is here. He thought an analysis of betting patterns might help his investigation into the mysterious death of Riyad Mahrez as a fantasy asset."

"How would the betting patterns in a small Canadian casino affect the FPL points output of a Leicester City midfielder?" asked President Bernie Sauzee.

"A reasonable question, but it's not our place to reason why. If he thought there could be a connection, he was bound to investigate it. This is the President that spotted the bonus point potential of a Newcastle United 'keeper in the 2015-16 season. We usually leave him to weave his magic in whatever way he sees fit, but for this mission we need his specialist skills working directly for the Presidents."

"Can you see him?"

"Not at the minute, he might be in disguise. Take a seat, relax and if John Terry's Dog turns up don't let him hump your leg."

After an hour of chatting to the patrons, President o'Badger reported back to Special Agent Cooper.

"I can't see your man, but I've been chatting to a lady clutching a log," said o'Badger. "She said the log told her the Liverpool team line up for this weekend. If she's right, we might want to reconsider Coutinho."

President Sauzee laughed.

"That log is just an elaborate mobile phone case. She's reading rumours off Twitter like everyone else and claiming to be clairvoyant."

At that moment a hidden trap door opened in the ceiling above the dance floor and a body fell through the gap, followed by a voice shouting: "And stay out!"

The Presidents ran over to the body and jumped when it suddenly moved and talked.

"Hello Badger, Hello Diva. What brings you up here?"

"You do. We need your skills for our next assignment. Why were you thrown out?"

"I was counting cards. Much like some FPL players didn't like being told Capoue's streak wouldn't continue, they took umbrage at my stats-based approach to poker. Who's the new guy?"

"President Bernie Sauzee. President Sauzee meet President Donald Balders."

any graphics wizards able to improve on our poor attempt at a team grav? (though I suspect Helen keller with a box of broken crayons on a roller coaster ride could improve it. )
we thank you in advance

I'm worried about President Diva. Had he got a full scale Trump psychosis?

Contes vs Hawks (Last 3 GW stats,Shadow Rider did all the calculations so this is his work)
GW 9
304 vs 369 (Top scorer: Chucky 56)
GW 10
590 vs 648 ( Top Scorer: TimothyJS 91)
GW 11
467 vs 472 (Top Scorer: Chucky 76)

GW 12
Contes are awful 😉 We are ready and we are going to make it 4 in a row next week 😀 All the best hawks!

Good luck to Denver DoesDallas (but not so much). I hope it will be a fascinating clash! 🙂

When does the 5 yellow cards suspension end or reset?

jarvish are you doing a website of sorts to show the tournament in progress or are we just using this article
apologies if been posted and I missed

Jarvish any spreadsheet to see all the participants of the FcB Tournament.
It would be useful for knowing each other and their teams well and easy to compare the teams.

Testing out the Chicago Bull Sitters official team logo avatar. Be prepared for this dropping all over the FFS website.

1FT & 2.0 itb thoughts?

Pickford
Koscielny / Lovren / Walker
Coutinho / Hazard / Firmino / Gundogen
Aguero / Austin / Lukaku

Bench: Jaku, Amat, Barry, Kelly

Presidents Barack o'Badger, Franklin Diva Roosevelt (aka Special Agent Diva Cooper), Bernie Sauzee and Donald Balders were sat in the Double F diner enjoying a good cup of joe, plus a slice of cherry pie, to recover from their trip to One-Eyed Jack's the night before.

"Is the team complete, Diva? Do we need another member? Because I've got this guy, you should meet him, he's a really great guy. I met during my investigations up here. I can do a deal to get him in our team. He's a really great guy," said President Balders.

"We do need one more and we need to lock him in. The Big Cheese is coming up to Twin Wildcards today."

President Balders took the other three presidents to a one-storey building on the edge of town with the words 'Sheriff's Office' outside.

The town had been quiet and sleepy, but inside it was chaos. One sheriff and his deputy were trying to wrangle eight people into the cells.

"Take a seat in my office gentlemen, I'll be with you shortly," said the Sheriff as he grappled with a tall man wearing a deer stalker hat.

As the Presidents walked to the office, President Balders said: "That's him, the Sheriff, that's the guy. He's a really great guy. Knows his Fantasy Premier League. I can do us a deal."

A full 15 minutes had passed before the lawman walked into his office.

"Sorry for the delay gentleman. You wouldn't believe it. These eight guys appeared in town today. They claimed they were here for a training session, but all Deputy Andy and I saw and heard was "puff, puff, pass". They claimed they had a therapeutic use exemption, but you don't bring a truckload of that stuff with you for "personal use". I'm going to keep them in the cells until the stuff is out of their system then send them back to Jacksonville. Mr Balders here I know, but the rest of you I don't. Sorry, I haven't introduced myself. Sheriff Harry S. Truman at your service. Now what can I do for you gentlemen?"

After introductions, Special Agent Diva Cooper cut to the chase.

"Sheriff, we're putting a team together to counter this Chili Bowl plot. Balders has told me you're a fine FPL player and we'd like you to be a part of the team for this special operation. What do you say?"

Sheriff Truman stretched back in his chair, pondered for a moment, then leaned in.

"There's been strange things going on in these parts ever since this Chili Bowl was announced. I don't like it. It's upsetting the peace in this town, just look at that Jacksonville lot for example. You can count on me."

"Excellent," said Diva. "I think President Harry S. Truman has a certain ring to it. But tell me, what does the 'S' stand for?"

"Slamdog," said the newly minted President. "President Harry Slamdog Truman at your service."

Finally the Philistines have completed their squad.
1)Kingozil
2)Skipdipper
3)Dmhomag
4)Hurricane Gilbert
5)Meghan
6)Maitreyasohani
7)Skipdipper
8)Rukawa

We are looking forward to our first game against Chicago. Here's to a good tournament!

A "regular" is a must? Since most were recruiting from past tournaments, I recruited 6 from the same Germany team last year.

I'm not bothered if they post every day, every week, every month all I asked you to do was to show you have followed the rules

5.2
People who have never posted on FFS and/or are not current registered as an FFS user may not be selected as players.

There is the rule I asked you if you can meet this rule, I'm not singling you out there are others. Taken out of my hands now

WARNING

Reports are coming in of Phillistines in the Greater Chicago area - believed to be led by a deluded German Royalist, Prince Harry's girlfriend, a zombie skipper eater, and some guy with a wind problem. If you run into them you should:

- humour their RMT requests,
- indulge their Captaincy choices,
- tell them that Hazardgate was only a dream.

And call the Chicago Bull Sitters who are ready to take care of business. Our motto is 'Keep Mr Calm and bring it on'.