Strikers Keepers, Losers Weepers Not the Match of the Day 4

Hello, and welcome to Not The Match of The Day our weekly look at all the action and drama from the Strikers Keepers Losers Weepers Community Tournament, with me your host Smarmy Spudseller.

After a couple of weeks away, working on my tan and counting my crisp packets, I am back to share the latest action from Matchday 4. On a side note, thank you to Ures Truly and Lord for covering in my absence, but the state of my dressing room after you had left was truly disgusting, and thanks for the “present” you left in the en suite toilet.

THE RESULTS ARE IN…

Hwang King in a Greenwood 0-4 Krul Intentions

Rumours of unrest are spreading in the Hwang King Camp, not helped by the fact that Big Sam had bought a static caravan in the area, and Steve Bruce has been seen in the local chip shop asking about the price of scampi.

As for Krul Intentions led by Suvansh, their star performer was Therealbesher, with 75 points, and it was enough to give them their third win out of four to put them very much in the championship hunt.

The Rooney Tunes 7-1 Flying without Ings

A hat-trick from DD and fine contributions from Lateriser and ItsAKnockeart saw the Tunes play all the right notes, and in the right order, as they recorded their first win of the tournament.

Unfortunately for Flying without Ings they have yet to take flight, and sit towards the lower end of the table, frustrating for Arisesirgiggsy who had the highest score this week of 94 but was grounded on the bench.

Hey MaccaReina! 4-0 Free Britney’s Areola

The Scout Mods and Cons team continue to dominate all that come before them, and their 100% record stays intact.

He who pays the bills, Elfozzie, was the man of the match with 74 for Hey MaccaReina, and I am sure TedTalks will be quick to expense back his win bonus.

Too Krul for Siu 3-3 Ayew Lonesome Tonight

What a game! Too Krul looked to have it the bag with Camzy hitting a hat trick and Namanbhardwaj saving everything, yet they had not reckoned on a huge team effort from Ayew Lonesome.

The squad inspired by another phenomenal performance from captain Narcos, with 80, and who scored three in return to save the draw.

Carroll’s Christmas Island 0-8 The Fantastic Mr Fox

The Islanders have now conceded 15 goals in two games and the Foxes were fierce in their attack.

Now the leading striker in the competition, Xhaka Laca fired another 3 goals, and then the rest of the squad got in the act with another 5. Notable performance here from sbb_ca with 79 points.

Catch me if u Kane 2-4 Toxic Seaman

It’s very hard for me to be unbiased as club ambassador for the Seaman, but it was another awe-inspiring performance as Jairzinho took temporary charge of the squad.

Elfortu scored a couple for the Kane chasers, with the normally unflappable FPL Matthew letting his guard down; however, Hibbo got one back, but unfortunately he was booked for his obscene Britney-based dance celebration to the crowd.

Then, cometh the hour, cometh the Lighthouse Keeper, as Milvus scored 80 and guided the Seaman away from the rocks of defeat.

Jimmy Floyd Hamsterbaink 2-3 Lloris the Hounds

Another nail biter as Swanmoretime looked to have helped the Hamsters scurry to victory with a couple of goals, especially as Mr Hindsight was dominating proceedings in midfield with a fine 76.

However, FPL Differential King gave a dog whistle and his hounds bounded into action, proving their bite was worse than their bark, FPL Architect was paw-some with 2 goals, and the rest of the squad raised the woof for a thrilling win.

Shearer’s Bunch of Flowers 1-4 The Nameless Ones

The band of banter accounts continue to wreak havoc in the competition and remain unbeaten. They looked on the ropes as Ravi Vyas struck first, and then gutter poet Randy Shafter failed to retaliate.

However, like any good monster in a horror movie, they rose from the dead to score four goals to lay a wreath on the chances of the florists of winning this match.

Can anyone stop The Nameless Ones?

Footstock Alumni 6-2 Defoe King Unbelievables

A real upset as Footstock, who had yet to win a game before this match, scored six past the ex-champions.

Luke Williams, aka d1sable, scored two past Holly Shand, but then the Alumni rallied to get their first points on the board.

Shot to the Hart and Yorke to blame 2-1 Bachman and Robben

AutoSelect’s sharp shooters have yet to be defeated in the tournament, and secured another ugly win here with FPLRobbed and Sertalpbilal looking pistol perfect.

Dynamic Duos scored for the caped crusaders, and Jake Donahue had a good week, but it wasn’t enough. Maybe if they hadn’t booted Colonel Shoe to the bench that could’ve save their sole (and the match).

Son of a Gunn 0-5 No Fuchs Given

FPL Richie’s fell to their first loss of the tournament to a team who have been on winning streak even since their opening day defeat.

The Gunns were much fancied in this match as they had big money, wildcarding Mark Sutherns upfront, but he failed to fire as FPL Mihir’s ambivalent army marched into action. Zophar scored; however, man of the match was FPL Osama with 81 points.

Hanging by a Fred 0-2 The Hairy Henry

Stalemate in the H2Hs as both strikers failed to find the back of the net, even though the bushy bunch had star MVP FPL Salah leading the line.

It was left to the squads to battle it out, Gianni Buttice flicked his hair back to prove he’s worth it with 66 points, but it wasn’t enough as they were perm-anently defeated with Gurdit Lugani amongst others proving a cut above.

For those still struggling to believe what they see, the full results are:

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

I’ve brought Alan Handsome out of retirement and off the golf course to pick this week’s player of the week, and it goes to FPL Osama of No Fuchs Given for his 81 points.

Arisesirgiggsy (Flying without Ings) who scored 94 and Badgevilla (Catch me U Kane) who had 82 can consider themselves unlucky but due to their confinement to the bench can’t be considered.

Alan was quoted as say “you’ll never win anything with benchings”

Unbelievable!

HOW IT STANDS

The league table is beginning to take shape now and Toxic Seaman have top spot, but only by virtue of goals scored, just edging out Hey MaccaReina! and The Nameless Ones. Which of these three will be first to blink in the game of fantasy chicken and lose that 100% record?

Fantastic Mr Fox lead the chasing pack but No Fuchs Given look like the form team with three wins on the bounce. They could yet win it all, but will they care?

COMING UP NEXT

Plenty of juicy fixtures to look forward to as Shot to the Hart and Yorke to Blame put their undefeated record on the line against the indestructible Nameless Ones.

Az and the Krul Intentions against Lateriser and the Rooney Tunes could throw up some interesting H2Hs; however, I will be cheering on the underdogs Hwang King in a Greenwood as they chase their first victory against the all-conquering Hey MaccaReina!

FINAL THOUGHTS

Thanks as always for joining, I’m off to clean up the mess left by Urs Truly, but I’ll leave you with this quote…

“Strikers Keepers is a simple game, 32 FPL managers chase some points for a Gameweek, and in the end The Nameless Ones/Toxic Seaman and Hey MaccaReina win”

Will that change this week?