Hot young buck FplRichie here. You may know me as a suave, sophisticated Falklands Veteran, but I’ve taken time out of training my team Son of a Gunn to update you poor deformed pustules on the scores.
THE RESULTS ARE IN …
HEY MACCAREINA 2-0 KRUL INTENTIONS
HeyMaccaReina looked like a squad who had listened to a persuasive TedTalk in their 2-0 win over Suvansh’s Krul Intentions. The losing side backed Az for striking duties, but he was left to rue a Ronaldo fail as Ole steered his hapless United side into the ditch.
TOO KRUL FOR SIU 0-2 THE ROONEY TUNES
Too Krul for Siu comedian striker Chandler Bing wasn’t laughing as his side bombed to a professional display by the Rooney Tunes. Squad togetherness paid off, but a mention for DuffyDuff who was top of the pops this week with an 89.
HWANG KING IN A GREENWOOD 0-6 CARROLL’S CHRISTMAS ISLAND
Hwang King in a Greenwood were clearly more interested in the impending third season of Champ Man FPL as they were dismissed 6-0 by Carroll’s Christmas Island. Cak Juris bagged a hat trick as CMFPL Benno produced a series of howlers for the Hwang-kers. A nod to indoor hat wearing podcaster Craig Kemp, who won’t be happy that his side spunked his sweet 90 pointer.
CATCH ME IF YOU KANE 3-0 FLYING WITHOUT INGS
Catch me if you Kane provided a tactical masterclass in a 3-0 win. Striker Brendan Bone gave Flying without Ings a stiff lesson with two goals as he sailed past TotalJustice. Meanwhile, FPL Hall of Famer Tom Stephenson looked imperious in the Catch me if you Kane goal.
FREE BRITNEY’S AREOLA 1-2 JIMMY FLOYD HAMSTERBAINK
Free Britney’s Areola were nipped by Jimmy Floyd Hamsterbaink in a tight affair thanks to the lethal A Manager Has No Name who scored both his side’s goals in a 2-1 win despite a lower squad score.
AYEW LONESOME TONIGHT 5-0 SHEARER’S BUNCH OF FLOWERS
Ayew Lonesome Tonight will surely not go home alone after they annihilated Shearer’s bunch of Flowers, who benched their own captain in a 5-0 reverse. Gaga_over_Gazzaniga was the perfect frontman, helping himself to two goals.
FANTASTIC MR FOX 4-1 FOOTSTOCK ALUMNI
Fantastic Mr Fox will be downing pints of mild down at the Lamb and Flag after their filthy 4-1 win against the Footstock Alumni took them to the top of the table. Perfect squad selections meant that the Foxes team totalled 70 points on their hapless opponents.
SHOT TO THE HART AND YORKE TO BLAME 6-0 TOXIC SEAMAN
Shot to the Hart and Yorke to blame shamed Greyhead’s Toxic Seaman. Sigurdjorem edged the win as striker, but it was the squad who had FplPotnoodle and Co feasting on humble pie rather than a Bombay Bad Boy. Greyhead, now of Meet the Manager fame, is said to be recuperating in a FFScout spa facility, accompanied only by a private masseuse and a suite of Brian Eno ambient albums for company.
SON OF A GUNN 2-0 LLORIS THE HOUNDS
Son of a Gunn finally got a tune out of Mark Sutherns as his handywork in goal kept Lloris the Hounds at bay in a 2-0 victory. FPLMAK was the big man on campus with a ludicrous 92, whilst FplRichie’s sidekick PEP_TALK might need a talking to after his pathetic display. The Hammersmith Hardman was seen giving his assistant a dressing down at the final whistle and surely a spell on the pine beckons.
HANGING BY A FRED 1-0 THE NAMELESS ONES
Hanging by a Fred have written their name in tournament folklore, beating the previously unbeaten Nameless Ones. Losing captain Linnbee was seen sobbing into what looked like a disgusting banana pizza, but it was the home side who will be celebrating with a deep dish from Dominos after a feisty single goal win.
DEFOE KING UNBELIEVABLES 3-0 THE HAIRY HENRY
Defoe King Unbelievables cantered to a 3-0 win over The Hairy Henry. PirlosPen regrouped his experienced squad after a difficult campaign, gaining a much needed second win of the season.
NO FUCHS GIVEN 6-2 BACHMANN AND ROBBEN
No Fuchs Given certainly offered little signs of mercy as they swept aside Bachmann and Robben. Whilst FPL_Mihir has taken his side to the edge of glory and now sit second in the head-to-head standings, he fluffed his way to a goal deficit in goal, leaving his squad to rattle five goals past their opponents.
For those still struggling to believe what they see, the full results are:
PLAYER OF THE WEEK
Player of the week FplRobbed bagged a ridiculous 98 on the way to Shot to the Hart and Yorke to blame winning big, including 56 points from his back 5.
A mention also to Jake Donahue, who is in many ways a massive loser given his side Bachmann and Robben were pumped 6-2 by the savage beast that is No Fuchs Given. But damn, 96 points is worth a mention.
HOW IT STANDS
Fantastic Mr Fox have stolen a march right to the top of the table, sending the Nameless Ones into a relative tailspin, albeit on goals scored. No Fuchs Given and HeyMaccaReina! share the other spots in the top 4, with all sides level on five wins from six.
COMING UP NEXT
Table-toppers Fantastic Mr Fox host the roguish band of dreamers, Son of a Gunn in a mouth-watering tie. Nameless Ones themselves have a mighty task on their hands if they want to get back on top. Hindu Monkey and Co will need to defeat Zophar and his chums if they are to regain the summit.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Before I go a reminder that you can now listen to all the reaction from Tournament via the Strikers Keepers Losers Weepers podcast – get it in your ears!
The latest episode can be found here.
Well, I’d best be off, I’m cooking up one of my famous Friday night fry up for Eddie and then we’ll head down to the Lamb and Flag where I believe there’s a new barmaid on.
Did I mention what a smashing blouse you have on? You are a bit ragged round the edges, but beggars can’t be choosers!
2 years, 5 months agoCheers for writing Richie and team!
I assume you took over from Greyhead as he was otherwise preoccupied explaining that result to the board...