Opinion

Pre-match Preamble – Gameweek 34

Few players push our buttons like Romelu Lukaku. As a Fantasy Football asset, he appears to relish seeking out new ways to frustrate us.

It’s almost fitting that Lukaku should choose this current Gameweek 34 scenario to come to the fore once again; to adopt the role of ringmaster in this circus of uncertainty we’re now forced to spectate.

So many of us bought a ticket ahead of Gameweek 33, confidently throwing down the Wildcard, ripping our squads apart and rolling the armband over Lukaku’s bicep. We had such high hopes.

Now, in a week that saw the Belgian inevitably fail to deliver on his promise, he’s dominating our thinking again – a component of Roberto Martinez’ “masterplan” to somehow salvage some credit from Everton’s spiralling season.

Lukaku is apparently carrying a groin problem. He may well have trained ahead of today’s meaningless encounter with Southampton but with Martinez facing the two biggest matches in his Everton tenure after this weekend, the smart money is on Lukaku sitting out the Saints clash.

While it was difficult to foresee this situation play out, we perhaps should have known better but to pin hopes on the most frustrating Fantasy asset, playing for the most inconsistent side in the Premier League.

Now, with the likes of Ross Barkely, Phil Jagielka and Aaron Lennon ably supporting Lukaku’s provocation, we face the prospect of throwing points hits at the problem. We’re almost as desperate as Roberto.

There’s a lesson to be learned.

The Double Gameweek/Bench Boost combination appeared to be a potent end-of-season weapon, used to punish the unprepared. Blinded by the promise of unimaginable three-figure hauls, many of us looked on Lukaku and a cast of unreliable mediocrity with new eyes.

We’ve been stung by end-of-season agendas – Roberto’s trying to save his job while down the road, Jugen Klopp’s plotting European glory. I’m not certain that upsetting the end-of-season plans of a few thousand Fantasy Football managers has entered their thinking. Neither of them returned my calls.

I’m still blaming myself. I begrudgingly waved goodbye to proven talent and welcomed Yannick Bolasie into my dressing room. On Wednesday night I was contemplating swapping him out for James Milner. How did it come to this, exactly?

We all know the answer. We gladly opted in on the deal and are now funnelling into the Big Top, a procession of sweaty palmed Fantasy managers just hoping that the Gameweeek 34 circus can still play out as expected.

Lukaku is faking a limp as he welcomes us to our seats and we’re all wondering if we’re the clowns.

It’s done now, let’s try to enjoy the show.

Mark Mark created the beast. He's now looking to tame it.

1,872 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Revival
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 11 Years
    8 years, 1 month ago

    Sanchez only owned by 16.1% anyways, captaining him is a massive over non-owners if he does anything

    1. #WinterIsNotComing
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      I have him as TC but I doubt he will score big..

    2. Bøwstring The Carp
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Triple (c) here

    3. VS10_
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Dead team ownership.

    4. thattreblefeeling
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Great asset going forward IMO

  2. It’s gonna Ben Mee
    • 10 Years
    8 years, 1 month ago

    Ok, this activating and then confirming chip is bs, right? RIGHT?! About to lose my mind.

    1. Revival
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      when you activate the chips you definitely need to confirm you team, as you would do in any gameweek anyway

    2. Fitzy.
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      No joke. You have to confirm team as well, just like when you change captain, subs etc...

      1. Numb
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        It will catch a few people out. Depends if you did the chip after you'd set your team up.

    3. rozzo
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      You just click on the chip and confirm your team like you normally would

    4. DeadStarComing
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Don't you refresh your team page before a deadline just to be sure any changes have saved?

    5. It’s gonna Ben Mee
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      I'm not even sure what I've done anymore. "The bench boost chip is activated" has been shown all week with a little disclaimer below on how it works. If I've messed this up I will go absolutely mental.

  3. #WinterIsNotComing
    • 9 Years
    8 years, 1 month ago

    The game is being updated.

    The game is currently being updated. Please try again later when the updated scores / teams will be available.

    They need to get better servers. :/

    1. Forza
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      There's no efficient way of processing 3.7 million teams!

  4. Bøwstring The Carp
    • 12 Years
    8 years, 1 month ago

    My advice for next week:

    There will be people with 9 players that will score more than people with 11 players. Be one of the former.

    1. Trigg ⭐️
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      I've said this. Make sure you get a GOOD team out, quality over quanity.

      I'm hoping to get Kane back but not taking a hit for a Southampton defender.

    2. Colonel Shoe 肝池
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      i worry therell be so many injuries and other rotation headaches by then that my 10 players turns into 5

    3. VS10_
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      But the biggest scores will be people with 11, be that.

      1. Trigg ⭐️
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Are you saying 2 defensive transfers (-4) is better than getting Kane for free?

        1. Colonel Shoe 肝池
          • 12 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          ward over kane -4 worked last week for some

          1. Trigg ⭐️
            • 11 Years
            8 years, 1 month ago

            Strictly SGW though!

        2. VS10_
          • 8 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          Did i say anything about defenders? I'm taking a hit to get Pelle and Kane. But I also know that not all of my City and Liverpool players will play, so 11 will be 9 or something.

          1. Trigg ⭐️
            • 11 Years
            8 years, 1 month ago

            A good 9 beats a poor 11.

            1. VS10_
              • 8 Years
              8 years, 1 month ago

              You're missing the point. Good 11 outscores good 9.

    4. Cpt Crunch Scott talent
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Same should have been said about this week

  5. BobB
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 14 Years
    8 years, 1 month ago

    Gone for Rashford AND Martial. Hoping Roonpig will be slotted into midfield when he returns

    1. Slartibartfast
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      He won't be, but Rashford might (should) keep starting, just possibly shifted out wide.

      1. Slartibartfast
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Although with LVG, anything is possible I guess.

        1. seanysheep
          • 8 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          Rashford up top with martial Rooney and mata/lingard in behind maybe?

  6. DGWjegy
    • 8 Years
    8 years, 1 month ago

    can't wait lukaku masterclass

    this remindes me of that game where he played for wba and scored a few against UTD when almost nobody fancied him

    1. Colonel Shoe 肝池
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      last game of the season a few years back

      i benched him.....still hurts

      1. Az
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • Has Moderation Rights
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        i sold him
        cost me everything

        1. Colonel Shoe 肝池
          • 12 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          yep lost my ml

    2. M00N
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Yes I took him out for that game and lost my league on the last day

    3. Revival
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Sir Alex Ferguson's last game in charge . Finished 5-5. I had him in my team, think he didn't start but came on and got a hattie. Had RVP too for all his goals.

      1. Colonel Shoe 肝池
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        thats it.....thoyght i was a genius for benchin when i saw the lineups

    4. De_Roiste
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      The scars still remain

  7. DeadStarComing
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 13 Years
    8 years, 1 month ago

    How many update page refreshes have people done so far? Think I'm on about 17...

    1. Royal5
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      2

  8. TheBusDriver
    • 8 Years
    8 years, 1 month ago

    No one will have all their players play twice this week. Absolutely no chance. No one will have all their players play twice this week. Absolutely no chance.

    1. DGW blindness is for Kinnea…
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Agreed

    2. VS10_
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      We know this, but will still be disappointed when the teams are announced.

    3. fickle
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      This x2

    4. Prøphet
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Thought you were on the last stop quite a while ago.

  9. Da Diggy Diggy Doc
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 14 Years
    8 years, 1 month ago

    After this week, is there due to me more than one additional dgw? Still got both bb and tc

    1. Da Diggy Diggy Doc
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      *be

    2. che
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Let me guess, didn't realise you couldn't WC and play a chip in the same week?

      1. Da Diggy Diggy Doc
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Yes, exactly. Hasn't worked out too bad for this week though as I was keeping Kane, 2x Leicester anyway.

        Do need a dgw to use them on though!

  10. Kryten
    • Fantasy Football Scout Member
    • 10 Years
    8 years, 1 month ago

    Anybody else thought alot about lukakus groin this morn

    1. Jay_
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Is the Everton game on BBC later?

      • Mílanista
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        I've been thinking of him more in terms of female genitalia

      • Cpt Crunch Scott talent
        • 10 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Not for a second but I do hope it is quite stiff

      • Back to Back Ballacks
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Sure, even had a few strokes and still can't get it out of my mind!

        1. Az
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • Has Moderation Rights
          • 14 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          hahaha

      • Les Bleus
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Too much

    2. DGW blindness is for Kinnea…
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      I blame Balders. All those articles and he didn’t tell us how to BB

      1. Ziro Becomes One
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        😆

      2. TheBusDriver
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        😀

      3. Evs
        • Has Moderation Rights
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Shoddy really isn't it.

    3. Fifa las vegas
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Come on Mensah, Lingard and Aguero TC 😎

      1. Fifa las vegas
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        P.S, screw you Lukaku.

    4. DGWjegy
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      what's this activating chip talk? i activated mine BB last saturday and i chedked several times if was active

      i made changes and transfers and it was still active

      if somone managed to mess up that well that's on you and it's a silly rookie misatke

      one of the oldest rules in fpl game is always press confirm button , no matter what you doing

      1. Mílanista
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        This. It's so simple.

      2. Numb
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Yeah you're fine then

      3. Jafalad
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Seem to think my BB chip was already active when I pressed the confirm button.

      4. Bubz
        • 10 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        I like to leave all my transfers and captaincy decisions until the very last moment, then just click buttons, then complain on here about not knowing what I did

        1. Les Bleus
          • 12 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          I prefer the "I didn't hear my alarm, woke up too late, and missed my transfers"

      5. Bob.
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Yeah I pressed it like 5 times just to make sure!

      6. Wild Rover
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Ironic spelling fail 😉

      7. walkman666
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        This was my xperience and pattern. The recent "are you sure?" posts are bugging me out though!

      8. M00N
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Yeah but Bench Boost needed a second confirmation

    5. Back to Back Ballacks
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      So, to BB, you activate and confirm team right?

      1. Slartibartfast
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Jawohl

        1. Slartibartfast
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 9 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          Same as picking your team + captain

      2. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        yes

      3. Numb
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Yep

      4. Whazza
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        yay

      5. Colonel Shoe 肝池
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        and answer a multichoice question

      6. Richd
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        I can't believe people don't confirm there changes. I do it so many times a week.

      7. Amateur Pundit Zan
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        You pick your team like you normally would, hit bench boost and then confirm changes.

        Then if you are like me you check it another 10 times to make sure you did not accidentally turn it off last time you checked

    6. Carcetti
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Mate's telling me Martial is dropped?

      Relationship troubles apparently.

      1. Wild Rover
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        You have no mates

      2. Bob.
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        I sure hope not!

      3. Bubz
        • 10 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Lol

      4. Captain Vantastic™
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        My mate says he's gonna score a hattrick

      5. VS10_
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        There is some talk about him being rested.

      6. Kryten
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 10 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Are you trolling harder than lukaku

      7. Kun Tozser
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Wouldn't surprise

      8. Evs
        • Has Moderation Rights
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Slap him.

        Your mate now, not Martial.

      9. Forza
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        'Martial' is an anagram of 'marital', didn't you take the hint?

      10. Slartibartfast
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Could be a good fixture for Memphis to get a game, to be fair.

    7. Evs
      • Has Moderation Rights
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Liverpool midfielder Emre Can has been ruled out for at least four weeks after rupturing ankle ligaments in the Europa League win over Borussia Dortmund.

      1. walkman666
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Evs, I wound up selling Jagielka and Lennon to fosu Mensah and Lanzini. I held Lukaku and Gabriel. Who did you sell? Thanks.

        1. Evs
          • Has Moderation Rights
          • 14 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          Lennon and Bolaise OUT

          Coughing and Lazini IN

          Kept those 2 other clowns for my sins

          I couldn't face -8pt

      2. fickle
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        hopefully he still makes the euros, would be harsh

      3. Kevtheotter
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Lookin good for Milner

      4. Prøphet
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Great player and a great blow for LIV... Hopefully he comes back for the EL finals

    8. jimbobmij
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      This gameweek is just stupid.. casuals are going to destroy us again I can feel it.

      1. VS10_
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Yep. Our DGW players will just play once and all the template SGW players will outscore them.

    9. In Like Flynn.
      • Has Moderation Rights
      • 13 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Best midfieder for Utd's Double? For the SKY game so still time.

      I was thinking Mata as he was rested for the cup game, but open to other suggestions please.

      1. Bubz
        • 10 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Herrera could be a good punt

        1. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
          • 14 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          he's a doubt

          1. Bubz
            • 10 Years
            8 years, 1 month ago

            Shows how much attention I pay to Utd

            1. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
              • 14 Years
              8 years, 1 month ago

              which means fellaini probably plays and f*cks everything up

      2. Evs
        • Has Moderation Rights
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        I don't know anything about the sky game, but yeah.

        Who else is there really.

        1. In Like Flynn.
          • Has Moderation Rights
          • 13 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          Thanks Evs.

    10. rozzo
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      You know you think about fpl too much when you have a dream of going round to his house last night to check on his groin with a packet of frozen peas in hand

      1. fickle
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        how did the dream end? like a pornhub clip?

      2. Colonel Shoe 肝池
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        is this like a gay version of the old gold blend ad?

      3. Namtab Nomolos
        • 13 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Did you say "I come in peas"?

    11. Revival
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 11 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      If you forgot to activate a chip you should have done it at the start of the gameweek, I activated mine at this time last Saturday

      1. Whazza
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        most activated but didn't confirm

      2. walkman666
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        This more or less what I did. I activated early in the gamweek, and hit confirm, and then made my late transfers yesterday. It was active all week long. Late breaking "are you sure"? posts now have many of us buggin.

    12. vickyz r3d d3vil$ !!!
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Anyone gone with double Newcastle attack..?

      Wijnaldum & mitro here...

      The only reasoning was they are fighting to stay up !!!

    13. ralfb
      • 9 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Is lukaku playing

      1. Konig Luther
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        we don't know

    14. badgerboy
      • Fantasy Football Scout Member
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Some crazy numbers on FPL statistics right now!

      1. Whazza
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        wow

      2. Whazza
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        15 risers. 14 droppers atm

        1. badgerboy
          • Fantasy Football Scout Member
          • 8 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          Lot of wildcards being chucked around!?

        2. Spike ⚽️
          • 12 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          Loads of WC stats involved there

      3. VS10_
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Yep. The numbers will be adjusted some point after the game updates though so will go down a bit.

    15. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      worst decision of the season I can feel it, should have done kaku to studge

      1. walkman666
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Dang if you do danger if you don't. Let's now see. I held, too.

      2. Revival
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Actually Studge does love scoring against Everton, even from the bench

      3. drughi
        • 14 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        I'm afraid so yes

      4. Sponge-worthy
        • 11 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Calm it guy..

      5. Les Bleus
        • 12 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Believe! I've also kept the troll man.

    16. It’s gonna Ben Mee
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Get on with it! UPDATE!

    17. DGWjegy
      • 8 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      it takes more than ussual to update

    18. Bubz
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Lukaku spotted playing with his groin this morning

      1. walkman666
        • Fantasy Football Scout Member
        • 9 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        Perverted

      2. uberpwnage_23
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        BBC verified

      3. DGWjegy
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        i really hope all this anti-lukaku talk from you heavily backfires at you

        1. Bubz
          • 10 Years
          8 years, 1 month ago

          It cant backfire if he doesn't play

    19. DGW blindness is for Kinnea…
      • 10 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      Update taking extra long top factor in BB and TC

      1. fickle
        • 8 Years
        8 years, 1 month ago

        they're trying to count all the -8's

    20. Colonel Shoe 肝池
      • 12 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      lukakus groin to hold presser?

    21. ⭐ Bemba_Da ⭐
      • 14 Years
      8 years, 1 month ago

      @fantasypremierleague

      we have delayed the update, seems to be an issue where were are seeing people with lukaku still in their team.